Drawing Down the Moon dating

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[Runes & Brews] - Book 1: Trouble Brewing, Chapter 7

2020.09.19 00:59 LordCongra [Runes & Brews] - Book 1: Trouble Brewing, Chapter 7

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“Theo! Theo, wake up! Come on, Theo!”
A worried voice called out to Theo. Somewhere, distantly, he could feel himself being shaken. Something pressed to his lips - a sharp, tangy flavor entered his mouth moments later.
He shot up moments later, coughing and sputtering as potion went down his windpipe. Pain lanced through Theo’s head. Dull ringing filled his thoughts.
“Theo, what happened? Are you okay?” a voice asked through the ringing.
He turned to see who it was. His vision was blurry so Theo found himself looking at an indistinct blob topped with teal. Telsa. Noise to his left potentially indicated his door opening. It was so hard to tell with all of the ringing.
A smooth something entered his grasp. Right. The potion. Theo upended the bottle into his mouth, drinking down every last drop. Warm, comforting energy shifted through him. The ringing calmed down enough that he could focus once more. His vision cleared, bringing Telsa into sharp relief.
Theo turned his head, wincing at the motion. Adam was there now with Pina pushing herself through the doorway just behind him. A thick sheen of sweat coated his skin and he was breathing heavily. He wondered how they knew to come here, but was in too much pain to care.
“Is he okay?” Pina asked, sidling up to Telsa.
“I’m… alright. I think,” Theo said, wincing as a wave of pain roiled through his head once more. “Great Taberna, my head hurts.”
“I didn’t take you for a religious man, The-ow!” Adam said, glaring at Telsa as she elbowed him in the side.
“Ignore him. Theo, what happened? I saw Maraz walk out of your store, I was coming by to check in and I saw you collapse,” Telsa said, kneeling down next to Theo.
“I’m not religious. It just felt good to say in the moment, I suppose. Oh, um, sorry if you’re a follower of Taberna! I have the utmost respect for her-”
“Theo. Focus. What happened?” Telsa snapped, placing a hand on him.
“Ah, right. Maraz came in once again to try and make me change my prices.” He glanced between the three of them, grimacing. “I refused once more, and manual casted my air cage enchantment as a spell to stop him from…” He swallowed, clearing his throat. “Hurting me.”
“And? What happened then?” Pina asked, leaning in.
“He resisted, of course,” Theo said, clenching a fist. “And overpowered me quite easily.”
“Wait, go back a second. You manual casted based on an enchantment blueprint? How?” Adam asked, the concerned set of his brows shifting up with interest.
“Most of the groundwork was in place, I just had to reorder some of the runes to allow me to cast it rather than to function from an enchantment,” Theo said, shrugging, which made him grab at his head once more. “Goodness gracious, why am I in so much pain?”
“Wait, Theo. Check your mana pool for me,” Adam said, kneeling down as a soft green light coalesced around his hand. Soothing mana entered him, helping to stave off the pain. He tried to not let Adam laying his hands on him distract him.
“Why should I-” Theo’s eyes widened. His mana pool was at least double the capacity it had been this morning. “It’s… enormous. Probably double what it was before.”
“Oh, gods. Theo, you Snapped,” Telsa said, eyes widening and darting across his form as if she could see the change herself.
“Snapped?” Theo asked, his voice raising an octave. He immediately checked over his arms and legs, making sure they were in one piece.
“...What are you doing?” Adam asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“Snapping has a chance of one’s limbs exploding or their… body… melting… right?” Theo asked, his words petering out at the combined deadpan of Adam, Telsa, and Pina.
“What did they teach you back in Renwurd?” Pina asked, crossing her arms.
“The wrong information, I suppose,” Theo said, electing to not meet her eyes as his cheeks tinged with heat.
“Well, regardless. Theo, that was dangerous! Snapping may not make your limbs explode or whatever but your mana pool could have been irreversibly damaged. You got lucky,” Telsa said, tapping him on the chest for effect.
If his eyes could widen further, they did. Theo gulped. “H-How do I know it wasn’t damaged?”
“You’d know by now, trust me. Mana pool damage is pretty obvious,” Adam said, frowning and continuing to pulse healing mana into him.
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. Is that why I only rarely hear of adventurers Snapping?”
“Yeah, those guys are idi- ahem, taking… unnecessary risks,” Adam said, mouth drawing into a grimace.
Theo got the memo. His face blistered with heat. “I didn’t try to Snap. It just… happened. Maraz pushed against my spell, I tried to hold it, and next thing I know it feels like someone ran a sword through my head.”
“Snapping will do that. On the bright side, you have more mana capacity and it should be more powerful. So it’s not all a loss, I guess,” Pina said, shrugging.
“He might win against Maraz this time with a little more practice,” Adam said, Telsa glaring at him.
“Don’t encourage him. He might not get lucky with another Snap,” she said, crossing her arms. “Maraz isn’t a lightweight when it comes to magic. You know that.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Adam stared dreamily out the window. “Man, if I could have arms like his…”
“Not helping. Theo, are you doing okay? You should get some rest,” Telsa said, laying the back of her hand on his forehead as if checking for a fever.
“The potion helped most of the pain. And Adam’s spell. Thank you, by the way. I… do think sleep would be nice, however,” Theo said, his head swiveling back to the door to his home. “Oh, and Telsa, thank you for having Adam watch over me last night. That was a really sweet gesture.”
“What? I did-” She shared a look with Adam. “Not totally think you’d know he was here. He was supposed to leave by morning. He can stay again tonight, if you’d like.”
Theo considered the throbbing of his head. An increased heart rate didn’t sound ideal on top of that right now. “I… believe I’ll be okay. Maraz told me I have another chance. I don’t believe he’ll be back tonight at the very least.”
Adam frowned. “You sure? I don’t mind staying. I sort of got in enough sleep.”
“You have your test coming up, Adam. I wouldn’t want you to be lacking sleep for it. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll sleep with a wand by my side, which reminds me…” Theo said, scanning the room. He found his wand on the floor.
Pina followed his line of sight. “I got it.” She walked over and retrieved the wand, handing it to Theo with a smile. “Here you go.”
He took the implement gingerly, inspecting it for any damage. “Good, it’s unharmed. This one took me a while to make. It’s a lightning enchantment not unlike my Stun Bolt, but channeled. It’s ideal for monster capture requests. Or Maraz, as was my plan before he made me drop it.”
“You trying to sell us on another wand or…?” Telsa trailed off.
Theo colored once more. “Oh! Sorry, no, I just get a little carried away at times.”
“Mm. Well, we should all head home and let you rest. Snapping isn’t the most comfortable experience but you should be fine. I think,” Telsa said, eyes shifting upward in thought.
“You think? Telsa, that’s not particularly reassuring,” Theo said, toying with the buttons on his vest almost subconsciously.
She waved a hand dismissively. “I’ve known an adventurer or two that Snapped. Once it happens, you’re fine as long as your mana pool isn’t damaged.”
Theo considered for a moment, feeling the subtle throb of a vein on his temple. “Okay then. Sleep sounds nice.” His stomach growled. “Maybe some food first.”
“I’ll run to my parents’ restaurant and get you something to eat!” Pina said, already moving towards the door.
He nodded to her. “Thank you, Pina. I appreciate that. How did you and Adam know to come here, anyway?”
“Of course, I owe you too, y’know.” She winked. “I saw Maraz walking away, so I came running. Telsa told me Adam’s address and had me come get him. You should have seen him running here! He beat me and I was using my Vortex Sprint!
Hope seeded itself in Theo once more. He looked to Adam. “Really?”
Adam scratched the back of his head, his ears turning red. “Uh, yeah, I was… scared we’d lose such a good shopkeeper.” He laughed awkwardly.
Just as soon as the seed had taken root, it was torn away. “Oh. Of course. Well, thank you all for coming to my aid so quickly. I appreciate it more than I can express. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you Pina and just… lay here.”
She looked between Adam and Theo, frowning. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” Walking out the door, Theo heard her call “Vortex Sprint!” before the tapping of her feet faded off.
“We’ll come check on you again in the morning, okay, Theo?” Telsa asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.
He smiled at her. “I’ll be happy to see you both. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better.”
After they stepped out and closed the door, Theo could have sworn he heard a light slap over the remaining ringing in his ear.
He shifted his position, laying down and staring up at the stars through his still-open roof slats. The moon was overhead, so he felt a soft trickle of mana flow back into him. Not nearly as powerful as sunlight, but it began to fill the empty vessel within him. It, fortunately, wasn’t painful for him to hold mana like he thought it might be.
Most of the pounding in Theo’s head had reached a more tolerable level once Pina arrived with food.
She opened a small wax paper wrapping. “Tadaa! I brought you some pulled terrapork. I figured with your head hurting you’d want something easier to chew.”
The earthy aroma of the terrapork complemented by various spices grabbed Theo’s attention. His stomach was roaring now. Pina stared at him expectantly. He retrieved a fork from the kitchen and dug in.
Theo’s mouth erupted with fire - or at least it felt like fire. “Oh! Hot!” He fanned his mouth, wishing he had something to drink.
“You like it? It has traditional perren spices,” she said, picking up strips of pork from her own wax paper with her fingers and popping them in her mouth.
Bracing himself, he took another fork-worth of pork and chewed it. The spice didn’t get any better. “It’s, um, delicious.” He forced himself to swallow, feeling the heat in the back of his throat. “I don’t usually eat spicy foods…” His eyes were watering now and his nose was running.
“My dad said spices are the best thing for a Snap. Well, he uses spices for just about everything, actually. Now that I think about it, he might have just been making that up. Huh,” she said, shrugging and eating more of her meal.
Theo took another painful swallow. He wouldn’t want to be rude. “Well, the uh, burning is certainly distracting me from the Snap pain.”
Pina smiled, pleased. “See? My dad knows everything!”
He nodded to her, taking another regretful bite. He eventually had to gulp down a cup of milk upon Pina’s suggestion.
“Thank you for bringing me dinner, Pina. I appreciate it. For as… uncomfortable as it was, I have to admit, it was delicious,” Theo said, electing to not tell her his lips felt like they were on fire and his tongue was numb at this point.
“No problem, Theo. My dad will be happy you liked his cooking! He still wants you to stop by sometime, y’know,” she said, nudging him in the side with an elbow.
“I’d be happy to, I just need to get the whole… Maraz situation settled. The air cage was somewhat of a failure, but I have a new idea I’m going to work on tomorrow after I get some potions made.”
“Sounds good to me, I’m all set on stamina potions for now so I’m gonna head home. It’s past my bedtime,” she said, indicating the night sky from above.
“Oh goodness, sorry to be keeping you up! I know you have to wake up early for your deliveries I shouldn’t have had you bring me-”
“Theo. I wanted to. I’ll just be a little tired tomorrow, it’s fine,” she said, planting a hand on his shoulder.
“Well, you head home now and get some rest, okay? Thank you again for the food, and for bringing Adam. His healing spell really helped.”
She grinned, her pointed teeth showing. “You’re welcome. I tried to swap the runes on that healing spell you showed me, but I had no idea what I was doing. It just kept casting on myself.”
“Oh, it’d be easier at that point to make a whole new spell, yours is specialized for the legs after all. If you’d like, I can add that to the list of manual casting I’ll teach you. We’re still on for this weekend, correct?”
“Yep. I made sure I didn’t have any plans. My dad thinks you’re my boyfriend or something, by the way. But I saw you making eyes at Adam,” she said, waggling her brows.
It wasn’t just Theo’s mouth that was burning now. “Uh, no I was just um-”
“You like him, admit it. You’re like pods on the same branch or whatever,” she said, waving a hand dismissively.
He stared at her for a moment, blinking. “...I’m going to have to find you a book on common phrases or something. And, yes - but keep it a secret! He’s not interested in me so I’d rather not push him away.”
Pina laughed while Theo politely waited for her to stop. She didn’t. For nearly a minute. Wiping sap from the corners of her eyes, she regarded Theo. “You think he’s not interested? Theo. He’s giving you the same looks that you’re giving him. Do you know just how fast he sprinted here when he heard you collapsed? He beat me here. And I wasn’t lying when I said I Vortex Sprinted.”
His heart sped up. “Are you sure? Because he said it was Telsa who had him guard my shop and-”
She put her hands on her hips. “Absolutely sure.”
Theo stared down at the floor, his thoughts returning to each interaction with Adam. “Oh.”
She nodded. “Mhm.”
He scratched his head. “...What should I say?”
Pina shrugged again. “That you like him? I’dunno. You’ve gotta figure that part out yourself.”
He eyed her pleadingly. “You sure you can’t just… tell me?”
Her face turned deadpan. “No. It’s gotta come from the heart!”
“You’ve been listening to bards, haven’t you?” Theo grumbled.
“...Maybe. Anyway, I really need to get home now. Bye, Theo!” she said, already halfway out the door before he even registered her passing.
Theo kicked the floor. “Gosh darn it.”
Morning arrived and Theo was not ready for it. Most of the pain from yesterday had faded with a good night’s rest, but he felt like garbage anyway. The sun felt like pinpricks in his eyes, reminding him of the singular time he’d let loose with drinking. Never again.
Remind me to never Snap again.
He’d left his window uncovered by the drapes last night, so his mana pool was already decently filled now. This is close to my previous full capacity, just how long will it take to fill up?
A mental probing of his mana pool confirmed one curiosity - his mana density was certainly higher now. Guess Pina was right about the strength boost. At least that’s one positive to come out of all of this.
Theo shuffled through his morning routine, grumbling to himself. He felt grouchier than usual, but that was probably just from the pain. He had a couple of hours until he needed to open his shop, so he dragged himself into his workshop.
Sliding his hand across his alchemy table, the runes lit up and the gemstones glowed brightly. Too brightly. Hm, is my mana empowering the table more than usual? He tried to adjust how much mana he was feeding into the table but his mana pool felt… leaky. It was hard to control.
Well, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with the table running stronger. The runes appear to be handling it just fine, he thought, prodding the table a few times.
Theo grabbed ingredients out of his bags on the ground, finding the vindiya root he needed for more healing potions.
Just need to replace some philtres. One additional for the one I used too.
He grinded the vindiya root into workably small pieces, cheering up slightly as he settled into his process. The lively smell of the root helped stave off some of the remains of the headache he had.
Running water through the glass tubing of his alchemy table, he made sure to clean out any potion residue. It wouldn’t do to mix potion types, he wasn’t experienced enough to do something like that yet. Though… maybe I’m strong enough, now? Something to test for later.
Theo rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes, finally remembering to open the roof slats. Goodness, not much is going right this morning, is it?
His water in the glass container was just beginning to bubble up now, so he took the opportunity to begin his craft. Placing the crushed up vindiya root chunks into the water with some gallarant seeds, he pointed a hand at the container. “Distill.
The sudden shift of color on his table’s stability gem was unexpected. Red. Already?
“Oh goodness. Attenuate.” He tried to slow the stream of mana, but everything he attempted ended up pushing more into the spell.
The previous spread of green root in the potion water pulled back together. The stability gem glowed brightly green once more while the concentration gem changed back from purple to yellow.
Perhaps if I try it again…?
Theo tried to firmly grasp his mana pool, pulling only the mana he needed. “Distill.” More slipped from his grasp. Red again.
“I can fix this. It’ll just be a rather viscous potion. Let’s try Condense.” Mana pulsed into the water, turning it gelatinous in seconds. A teal gem on the table shifted to a bright pink, following suit with his shifting of the potion’s viscosity. Fortunately, the stability gem shifted green once more as the viscosity padded the stability.
“Not that viscous. Come on magic, please work with me here. Diffuse,” he said, pointing his hand at the container once more. The viscosity gem shifted from pink to teal once more, but all the way back. More mana had poured out with that spell, however. His stability gem was an angry red and started to blink.
“Oh no. This isn’t good at all. Cool.” Theo said, chilling the potion. The stability gem was still blinking red. He grabbed a lockbox from the floor, fumbling with opening it. Finally, it snapped open. Shoving the rattling glass container into it, he pulsed mana into the enchantments on the box. It closed. Theo threw it to the floor and covered his ears.
The metal box bounced up from the floor with the explosion that followed inside. His eardrums strained from the shockwave but, blessedly, the box mostly contained the explosion. There was just a small soot line on his floor that he’d have to wipe up.
Theo looked between his alchemy equipment and his hands, frowning.
“Oh dear.”
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2020.09.18 05:57 myrealnameisdoormat Has my JNFMIL finally turned my boyfriend into a JNSO after 7 years?

I DO NOT CONSENT FOR THIS POST OR ANY OF ITS CONTENTS TO BE SHARED.
This is a long one (it’s 4 years of pent up frustration which has now come to a head) and so I’m not expecting anyone to read it but it’s been therapeutic writing it and if anyone out there is bored and does read it and has an opinion on what I should do I would be forever grateful!
Myself (28) and my SO (30M) have been in a relationship for 7+ years. We met as season workers abroad and have lived together in his hometown for 6 years (first 2 years I was in student accommodation and last 4 years in our own house).
We’re not engaged but for ease I’ve written JNFSIL//JNFMIL//FSSIL.
For clarity, both JNFSIL and FSSIL are planning weddings - FFSIL’s is in 2 weeks and JNFSIL is in may.
JNFMIL in a nutshell.

- Dictated when and where we could buy our first house and what kind of house we could buy (she wasn’t paying for it!). Tried to put us off every house we saw. Kept going on and on about how we shouldn’t buy an ex-council house and shouldn’t live on a “council estate” despite knowing full well that I grew up in a council house.

- Wouldn’t take no for an answer so forced us to take a broken bed from her house into our new house (it went straight in the garage as junk and remains there to this day)

- Was insistent that we should not “waste” money on a fridge to match all our other kitchen items but should have an old one of hers which was old, yellowing and as we found out on the day we moved it FULL OF MAGGOTS. Cue us running around last minute trying to buy a fridge when we’d already spent the money we had set aside for the fridge on other less necessary home furnishings. This also remains in our garage as junk to this day.

- Continually makes comments as though my SO and I are really strapped for cash in front of other people to belittle us (I would estimate that we have double the income coming into our household that she has coming into hers!)

- Took great pleasure in telling us that we weren’t invited to FSSIL’s wedding which really upset my SO (we later found out that we actually were invited - the bride and groom had only been CONSIDERING a small venue that couldn’t accommodate all of their guests but decided against it as they wanted to share their special day with ALL of their family). When we received the informal text invite from the bride and groom I replied “we’d love to come - so happy to be invited as we’d been told by JNFMIL that we didn’t make the cut”. This was the only time that I stood up for myself in everything she’s ever done to me and she went MENTAL. I have a video of her shouting down the phone at me telling me how disgusted she was with me and telling my SO “it’s about time you started sticking up for your mother” when he tried to make her see how wrong she had been in telling us that INCORRECT info just for a bit of “gossip”.

- Invited herself and her husband to our house for Christmas breakfast despite the fact that they were coming for Christmas dinner and we already had 8 people for breakfast and not a very big house!

- Went crazy at us and got other family members to harass us for not going to her Boxing Day party the following day - we were shattered after doing Xmas breakfast for 10 and Xmas dinner for 8, I was working the following day and we’d not had any time to ourselves over the Xmas period. She was calling us selfish and unsociable even though all of her children/step-children and their partners occasionally miss her Boxing Day party due to having to attend other family events - nobody else gets spoken to like that by her when they don’t attend.

- cannot accept any fault or wrongdoing nor hear any criticism about herself. To the the point she will shout over my SO (me on that one occasion) or leave the room. She physically cannot tolerate people calling her out on her shite.

- went to check out a potential wedding venue for me and SO whilst she was on holiday in Ibiza. Then my JNFSIL got engaged and JNFMIL told her to get married at the EXACT SAME PLACE that we wanted to get married. When JNFSIL said “oh no we can’t get married there, Ibiza is XX and XX’s place”, JNFMIL apparently replied “who cares, they’re not engaged are they?”

- Makes snide comments about my weight and clothes.

- Continuously forgets everything I say so I end up having the same conversation with her over and over again. This can be over the most mundane of subjects and comes across as really rude, like she can’t be bothered to even retain our conversation. The most annoying example is that every time the subject turns to children she goes “ohhhh so you want kids now do you? You always said you didn’t”. For the first year or two of our relationship me and my SO didn’t think we wanted children, for the last 5 years or so, we’ve been steadfast in our wish to have children one day, yet every time I see her she makes out as if we’re flighty and changing our mind all the time about the subject and we’re totally not!

- Harasses us about the same subjects over and over.

- Berates us if we don’t do as she tells us.

- Loves gossip, loves drama, thrives off it and tries to draw everyone into it.

JNFSIL in a nutshell. I’ve also got a massive problem with JNFSIL who is a chip off the old block. JNFSIL is also the worlds biggest gossip and revels in telling me and SO all of the horrible things that JNFMIL says about us. But the issue is that JNFSIL feels obliged to put up with this behaviour from her mum because it’s her mum - however I just feel like screaming everytime she does this “She’s not my bloody mum so stop fucking telling me all the horrible stuff she says about me and SO because it makes me fucking hate her!!”
JNFSIL pretty much hates JNFMIL- her own mum! - and with good reason to be fair. JNFSIL says that JNFMIL ruined her buying her first house (saying “its too expensive and too far away” and refusing to visit for months) and also ruined her buying her first car (shouting in the middle of the dealership “you stupid girl why are you getting a car on finance, you’re an idiot”) and is ruining her wedding by inviting her own guests to a destination wedding and berating the JNFSIL and the groom for ‘daring’ to have a mini-moon after the wedding. My SO gets dragged into all these arguments and it causes him so much stress.
JNFSIL is the worlds most self-absorbed person I’ve ever met. She thinks she’s stunning (she’s not) and thinks everyone is obsessed with her (they’re not). At FSSIL’s hen do a few weeks ago I actually wrote down all the stuff JNFSIL was saying about herself and it was comedy gold “Xx is so jealous of me” “Xx must look at my instragram and wish she had my life - she could only dream of a life like mine” LMAOOO. Honestly it was so embarrassing I had to go to bed early to get away from her. She is slowly ending up with less and less friends (and is on her way to ending up with no bridesmaids for her upcoming wedding) because of her self-obsessed behaviour but does she think the problem lies with her? Of course not!! She thinks it’s that everyone is just jealous of her.
JNFSIL also stole one of mine and SO future planned wedding songs. In December we were all talking about what music we’d like at our wedding, I mentioned a song and JNFSIL said she’d never heard of it but would look it up. Low and behold, next time I see her at JNFMIL’s house she’s playing it and saying this is going to be one of her wedding songs. I was too gobsmacked to say anything. She’s since been plastering it all over social media trying to turn it into hers and her fiancée song. I tried to play her at her own game - put it on my social media saying how this has been one of mine and SO’s songs for 4 years and how we want to walk back up the isle to it. She had the CHEEK to message me saying “that’s ours” so I messaged back saying “yes I know - I told you about it in December, but never mind we’ll both have to use it” because I didn’t want to cause a scene and my SO didn’t want there to be any drama. She’s getting married next year - I am not currently engaged so she will get to use the song first and then it will look like we copied her.
The situation. I always knew that JNFSIL and JNFMIL were evil bitches who were not to be trusted but I’m really friendly and love having a laugh so can be quite forgetful about how horrible people are and what they might have done wrong to me when I see them and I tend to crack on and make everyone feel comfortable. But I’ve never fully trusted JNFMIL since the lies she told regarding FSSIL’s wedding and I’ve never fully trusted JNFSIL since she stole our wedding song.
The situation has been having a bad impact on my MH since about February time. I was crying and anxious all the time, not wanting to see them, wondering how the hell I was supposed to be pregnant and have kids in the future around these toxic people and my SO wasn’t doing anything about it. In about April time I finally explained to him the toll it was taking on me and said I didn’t want to have any contact with them. He said that this isn’t possible and that I had to have contact with them. Because I was wanting to make life easy for him, I agreed that I would see them but would lessen my involvement with them. I’ve seen them a few times since and every time has been horrible in one way or another (some examples are above). It was also at this time I told him I wanted us to move down to my hometown as I felt vulnerable and unsupported in his town with his bitchy family. He agreed on a trial basis and we set ourselves a target of moving down within 12-18mnths.
Since this time there has been millions of arguments between me and SO about the way that he allows JNFMIL and JNFSIL to treat him/me/us. The whole situation has left me feeling so vulnerable because he doesn’t protect us and I don’t feel that I can protect us without alienating his family which he doesn’t want. When I feel vulnerable this turns to anger - I guess it’s a kind of coping mechanism - and this has been the root cause of millions of arguments between me and SO. On top of an already shit year with Covid, work pressures, SO being made redundant, becoming first-time puppy parents. This has been compounded by me and SO not doing any of the fun things we usually do; 4-5 holidays abroad, festivals, days out, date nights, theatre trips etc. It’s been a crap atmosphere at home since probably March.
The latest is that I went on FSSIL’s hen weekend a few weeks ago with JNFSIL. When I returned, JNFMIL and JNFSIL have tried to make out to my SO that I cheated on him with the boys staying in the apartment below us. This did not happen, another girl and i went down there for 20 mins tops and the other girl could verify nothing happened. I even told SO that I was going down there and why. But JNFMIL and JNFSIL have made it out to be something it wasn’t. My personal belief is that they did this purposely to try and split us up since they don’t want my SO to move to my hometown with me in a year or so. The reason I think this is because the night AFTER I went down to the boys apartment JNFSIL was telling me how much she wished that she had chosen me as her bridesmaid (lmao, honey I literally hate you so thank god you didn’t!) and why would she do that if she thought I’d been downstairs cheating on her brother the night before?!? My SO does believe me that nothing happened thank god.
After this I told SO that I would not be having any future contact with his family. I explained again that I don’t feel supported by them and feel that they’re always looking for the next opportunity to tear us apart or to tear me down. I reminded him that they all hate each other - JNFMIL & JNFSIL & FSSIL, there is old hatred between all of them, I’ve outlined some of it between JNFMIL & JNFSIL above and on the hen do FSSIL told me “I hate JNFMIL, she’s an evil bitch, I tolerate her for my dad (JNFMIL’s husband)”. I explained to SO that I didn’t want to be part of that kind of toxic charade anymore because I don’t have anything like that with my own family and friends. He said that I can’t just decide not to speak to his family anymore. I begged and pleaded with him and he could not see my point of view at all. So I felt I had no option but to end the relationship.
I’ve since been signed off work sick for a week and come back to my hometown where I’m staying with my mum. This has given me the time and space I needed to get my head together and I’ve realised that I don’t want to loose SO just because of his family. I’ve told him this and we’ve had a joint therapy session. However he is of the opinion that it wouldn’t be possible for us to have a relationship in which I don’t see his family. I think it would be possible if we moved to my hometown ASAP (within next 6 months) as I would probably only be missing out on seeing his family 4 or 5 times a year which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that significant and I told him about all the people on this reddit that are NC with their in-laws.
SO has tonight had a solo therapy session and has admitted that he has not been as supportive of us as he could be and says that this is because he is not strong enough to stand up to JNFMIL and JNFSIL. He also said he is still undecided as to where he wants to go from here and said that this is because he doesn’t know if he can be with me without me seeing his family and also because he is worried about all the arguments we’ve had over the last 6 months even though he agrees that most of these were caused by JNFSIL and JNFMIL and the tensions they bring.
Of course JNFSIL and JNFMIL are telling him that he should not get back together with me.
I asked when he thought he would have a decision by and he said Sunday. So I was like yeah I think that’s fair... then we started talking about other stuff and the chat rolled round to a holiday we’re supposed to be going on on Wednesday. We have 2 weeks booked in Cyprus a week in Ayia Napa and a week in Paphos. On one of the days in Paphos, FSSIL is getting married in a villa. Whilst JNFMIL has been badgering us to make sure we’re up at the villa everyday, SO and I agreed that we would be treating it as a normal holiday so would be off doing our own thing most of the time and we have booked our own hotel.
SO is saying that he does not want me to come to Cyprus anymore. I said “hold on so you’re saying that if we get back together on Sunday that we still can’t go to Cyprus together on Wednesday?” (We had already agreed I wouldn’t go to the wedding but the holiday had not been properly discussed). He replied “well I think it’d be a bit awkward with my family” I was like “what the hell! never mind thinking about your family, what about us? Dont you think we might benefit from a holiday together?”
So then he said “well we’d planned to go up to FSSIL’s villa and obviously we wouldn’t be able to” so I reminded him that we’d planned to go the villa on the day of the wedding and maybe one other day out of the week we’re in Paphos and I said he could still go up another day if he wanted to and I would chill by myself at the hotel.
He didn’t agree and said it would be awkward. I was like “I can’t believe that you might happily agree to resume our relationship and then refuse to let me come on our only holiday of the year for fear of making things awkward with your family!” THEN he said “well to be honest I don’t think I’ll be ready to make my decision by Sunday, I want to think about it while I’m in Cyprus”.
He doesn’t get back from Cyprus until 7th October....He’s taking the piss out of me isn’t he? He wants to have his cake and eat it by going and having his holiday with his friends and family and then still have the option of me to come back to doesn’t he? He is never ever going to put me on a par with his family is he?
I told him straight up I would not be waiting until 7th October for a decision and so he reluctantly agreed to have one by Sunday but we never really cleared the Cyprus thing up before we got off the phone.
I’m at a point now where I’m thinking... do I wanna be with someone who wants 4 weeks to decide if they want to be with me or not? Do I wanna be with someone who will continue to prioritise his family’s feelings over mine? Do I want someone who is openly saying “yes my mums a pain in the arse but she’ll never change and I’m not strong enough to stand up to her” ???
Apart from the last 6 months we have had an amazing 7+ years - we have so much in common, have so much fun and I can’t see myself being with anyone else but I don’t wanna be a doormat :( do I tell him to fuck off now? Do I see if he wants to be with me on Sunday and just let the Cyprus thing go? Or do I demand that if he wants to be with me that we do the holiday together (obviously not the wedding day) and risk that if he says no then I’ll have to walk away? I feel like if we get back together and I’ve missed out on a two week holiday through no fault of my own then I’ll always resent him for it anyway because I’ll know that he couldn’t prioritise my feelings above his families feelings/his want for an easy life.
It’s just so sad because none of this would have happened if me or SO had decent boundaries in place in the first place and had stuck up for ourselves against his family but we are people pleasers. EUGH.
UPDATE: thank you all so much for all your feedback and points of view - it’s really helped me to feel validated and also to recognise that I need a man rather than a boy. I’ve told SO that he now needs to make a decision about whether he can respect my boundaries and also prioritise our relationship regardless of his family’s views. I’ve said that the only way he can prove that he’s putting our relationship first is to decide he wants to be with me THEN tell his family we’re back together and tell them that I will not be seeing them because of the way they’ve behaved and that he is supporting me with this. Then for us to go to Cyprus together and tell his family about this as well. Anything less than this I will not accept.
I don’t for one second think that he will agree to any of this because he’s said on the phone he doesn’t feel strong enough. However he is going to consider it over the next 24 hours and if he says ‘no’ as I believe he will then I can walk away with my head held high knowing I tried my best and that he wasn’t man enough to step up for our relationship... and if that’s the case then, as most of you guys have said, I won’t really be loosing out on anything will I!
Thanks again guys x
submitted by myrealnameisdoormat to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 03:08 imawilcox89 I don’t want to tell my in-laws that I’m pregnant because they think we’re “being reckless” during COVID and cause stress, what should I do?

A little background, my husband’s nephew (10M) was a Premi, his lungs never fully developed and his pediatrician told my SIL that he would die if he got sick with COVID. So obviously they are going to extreme measures to stay safe, which I completely understand and don’t take any offense to. You have to protect your family.
Now, my MIL & FIL, whom my husband and I love dearly, will do ANYTHING for their grandkids and are adhering to my SIL’s every demand so they can be indoors with the grandkids. For example, they haven’t left the house since March, will only shop at a store if it has curbside, wear N95s at pick up, wipe down anything someone else touched, they haven’t seen any friends, don’t go to the doctor (my MIL is in chronic pain and needs severely surgeries but those have been put on hold), etc. it’s extreme. My MIL has also told my husband “I had my time with you, all I care about is my grand babies- you don’t understand because you don’t have kids or grandchildren”. Ouch. There have been a few other poorly worded comments and my husband is working hard to draw stronger boundaries.
I wouldn’t consider us reckless... we only see my parents and our very close friends (they’re a couple so I’m talking 2 people here, both of whom take the same precautions as we do). We ALWAYS wear masks when going out, IF we go into a store we wear N95s and we work from home. We go out very sparingly maybe every other week. Wash our hands when we get home, etc.
We’ve had dinner in MIL/ FIL’s backyard 3 or 4 times with everyone. We have to sit at least 30 feet away at a separate table and pretty much have to yell to communicate. They won’t let us in the house, even when my husband had to use the bathroom REALLY badly - we had to rush home and he pretty much exploded, thank god we only live 10 minutes away. We got tested and when the test came back negative they still wouldn’t see us. Even before we found out we were pregnant I told my husband that I’m not doing that anymore. Sorry, but I won’t be treated like a leper, we’re being safe.
I just found out I’m pregnant (7 weeks) with our first child and I know they’ll be over the moon. But I think it’s going to cause a LOT of stress for us. I have to go to the doctor... sorry. We both work high pressure/high performance jobs so we avoid any additional stress like the plague. They’re going to say we’re not being careful enough and try to guilt us to be more careful every single time they talk to us. Plus, how are we going to tell them? Over Zoom? My MIL is going to cry and it’s going to really bother her that she can’t be with us in person (she’s Italian, so very emotional). BUT if we tell them in person, they’re still going to act super weird, probably stay away from us and that will make her cry too. Honestly, she would cry the entire pregnancy because she can’t see us. It was actually my husband’s idea not to say anything until we’re MUCH closer to the due date. Not sure how to handle, obviously we’re sooooo excited and want to tell them!
TL;DR - I’m pregnant and can’t decide if it would be better not to tell my in laws because they’d make us feel awful and stress us out over COVID concerns.
submitted by imawilcox89 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 20:49 Themascura Snow Angels are illegal where I live.


My town is in one of the north western states- which, if you know anything about the north east, means snow like... six months out of the year. To make things worse, my town is approximately in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. We deal with it about as well as every other tiny north western town, which...

Well, all you need to know is that there's a town up here that is literally based around a prison. That's it. That's the whole point of the town. Pretty much just to house the people who work there.

It's pretty dismal sometimes.

So you'd think, given the lack of other things to do, they'd embrace all the types of winter entertainment. And you wouldn't be wrong! Snowmen are an art form in my town. Ice sculptures get pretty competitive. Taboganing and sledding are Big. Deals.

But snow angels are illegal.

In fact, I didn't even know they were a thing until I saw someone doing it in a film one time. I was over at a friend's house, and they had an older cousin visiting from out of town. She'd brought the tape with her- it was one of her favorites. She thought we'd love it. She saw Harry and I staring at the t.v. in confusion and laughed at us.

"What, you've never seen a SNOW ANGEL?" She asked us mockingly. I don't think it was malicious. I think she was just teasing the way some people do. You know the whole 'kids these days' trope that every generation thinks they invented. We both shook our heads and she climbed to her feet, gesturing for us to follow her while she suited up to go outside. She got as far as falling on her back in the yard- us following her like ducklings- before my friend's dad came running out of the garage yelling at the top of his lungs.

I'd never heard Harry's dad yell like that before. Ever. And I've never heard him raise his voice since. Scared the beejesus out of all of us, including Harry's cousin. He sent Harry and I inside and I didn't hear what he said to her, but she was as white as a sheet by the time he was done. They came back in afterwards and Harry's dad called mine to come pick me up.

Harry's cousin never came to visit again, but I never forgot. I knew there was something wrong with making a snow angel, I just never knew WHAT.

Harry and I never discussed it. We went back to sledding and snow forts and never said a word. We both knew that something big had just happened, but neither of us were old or mature enough to really take any meaning from it.

Nearly a decade passed before we thought of it again.

Harry and I were both pretty average looking kids. Neither of us had a whole lot going on to give us any kind of social edge, so dating in our very small high school- where the boys out populated the girls by something like seventy five percent- was pretty much a crap shoot, and neither of us was interested in the male half of the population.

So when Harry formed a crush on Melissa, we both kind of knew it was doomed. I was his best friend, though! It was my job to be supportive- so I didn't say anything. Like. At all. I didn't know the first thing about being a wing man, but I did hesitantly suggest that Harry might get Melissa's attention by doing something 'cool'. Which, in teenage boy, translates to stupid and/or dangerous.

Unfortunately, Harry took that advice to heart.

God how I wish I could take those words back now.

It was late-October and it was already snowing pretty regularly. Nothing bad yet, but more than just a light dusting. Halloween fell on a Wednesday that year, so the weekend before a few of us got together for a kind of preemptive party. We'd basically turned it into an excuse to party the whole week. We were out at Harry's new house- his dad had recently built a really nice new place outside of town. It was kind of isolated, but it also had a hot tub, so.

And anyway, the isolation worked in our favor. Nobody was liable to file a noise complaint or a curfew violation on us way out here.

The irony is, Harry's dad had actually given us permission to have a little get together as long as we promised to be responsible. I guess it was because Harry was kind of going through a hard time, what with his mom having left and all.

It was a full moon that night. It wasn't snowing, but it had that morning. There was still a pretty thick carpet of it all across the lawn. There were eight of us. Four boys, four girls. Harry and myself, Melissa, her best friend Joan, her little sister Nicole, and their boyfriends, Travis, Hunter and Chad. Melissa and Nicole were in the hot tub with Chad and Travis, while Joan and Hunter and Harry and I were playing pong on the deck.

Harry and I were losing. Pretty badly, actually. Travis was mocking us from the hot tub, his arm around Melissa.

"Nice shot, asshole." He commented after one of Harry's swings had gone wild. The ball tapped impatiently across the deck, careening off into the snow beyond. Harry made an impatient sound. I could tell Travis' comments were starting to get under his skin. His jaw was clenched and I could visibly see him holding back his temper as he marched down the steps to collect the ball.

"Come on." I hissed at Travis under my breath, "Quit being a douche-"

Travis opened his mouth, most likely to say something nasty, but before he could get the words out I heard Harry call out-

"Hey Melissa, want to see something cool?"

We all turned expectantly just in time to see Harry pitch backwards into the snow with his arms splayed out.

"Oh yeah, real cool, turd money." Travis jeered, "You fell down! Way to go. I bet your mom is real proud."

"What did you just say?" Harry stopped mid-snow angel. We all kind of fell silent for a second. Even Melissa looked shocked. She pushed Travis' arm away and scooted to the other side of the tub, giving him a look of disgust.

"Too far, Travis." She muttered. Maybe he knew it too. I'd like to think he was going to apologize, but Harry was already getting up and Melissa was leaning out of the tub- trying to change the subject, maybe- and asking Harry what he'd done and then we all heard it. None of us seemed to know what it was at first. It was... hard to recognize. A short, sharp sound as if someone had just been socked in the gut.

You know that sound you make when you've gotten the breath knocked out of you? It was like that.

"It's a snow angel." I said into the silence afterwards, trying to tell myself that it was just one of those weird sounds that came out of the woods sometimes.

"Oh." Melissa furrowed her brow.

"Hey, I think I've heard of those." Hunter put in, "One of the kids from Moore got arrested for making one in town square after the game. His parents had to come pick him up."

"Let's google it! Inside-" I was quick to suggest, but then the second sob interrupted me before I could get further than a few steps toward the house.

"What was that?" Joan asked. Harry finished climbing to his feet and stooped to pick up the ping pong ball.

I didn't hear whatever Harry's response was. I was too busy looking. Frozen in place. Riveted by the sight of the single, pale hand draped across the edge of the snow angel's 'wing'. This time we all heard the wail. And knew exactly what it was. The identical looks of confusion and fear that flickered across all of our faces gave it away.

"What the fuck?" Travis said.

"Oh my god!" Joan shrieked.

"Harry!" I yelped. I don't have any conscious memory of crossing the deck. I blinked and suddenly I was there, leaning over the railing and grabbing him by the shirt. Hauling him away from the snow and toward the steps. Meanwhile, an ethereal vision was rising out of the snow angel as if it were rising on a pedestal. Blonde hair coated in frost. Pale skin mottled with blackened spots. Blue lips bowed back in a grimace of misery.

She was wearing a gray robe. It crackled brittlely as she climbed from her knees to her feet.

"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-" Travis was wheezing a new mantra somewhere behind us.

"GET IN THE HOUSE." Someone else yelled. I held Harry's arms, helping him climb over the railing. We raced into the house hand in hand, a frenzy of splashing and screaming going on around us. I sprinted as far as the couch. Before Harry dropped my hand and went back to lock the glass door. Nicole and Joan huddled against the far wall, sobbing softly. Melissa ran to the kitchen. Travis hovered near the window, staring in shock.

"The fuck is that?" He squealed. I wanted to cover my eyes, but I couldn't help but look. I was drawn to that face. The look of terror and pain on it. I could still hear the sobbing through the glass as it tottered unsteadily to the steps and began to drag itself up onto the deck. It- she- moved so wrong. So stiffly!

"Oh god." Harry muttered beside me. I managed to glance at him, only to see him looking back at the snow. Not the THING, but the place it had come from.

There was another hand edging out of the snow angel. This one wrinkled and shriveled.

"We have to get out of here," Melissa came out of the kitchen carrying a kitchen knife, "We have to get back to town and call the police." Harry's place was brand new. The landlines hadn't been hooked up yet.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Just one problem." Harry put in, lifting a hand and singling out the keys and phones sitting out beside the hot tub. Travis' keys. Joan's and Nicole's too. We all shared a look, because that only left two cars. My beaten up suburban, which barely had heat- not normally a HUGE problem, since I was typically DRESSED while inside it, but given that half the party was still soaked from the hot tub and wearing only their bathing suits...

And Melissa's coupe. Which would barely fit four people, even if they sat on each other's laps.

"Fuck." Hunter yelled.

"I don't think we have a choice." I ran my fingers through my hair, "Just grab some coats and blankets and let's go. Hypothermia has to be better than whatever is going to happen when she-"

"They." Harry interrupted quietly.

I didn't bother to respond to that. I just dug my keys out of my jacket and headed to the door. I heard the others scrambling to grab what they could and following.

As soon as I was out the door I heard the howling. Not like wolves- like people. More than one, just... screaming. I sprinted down the driveway, half aware that I ought to have waited. I ought to have given the others more time to get ready, but some part of me just knew that every second we wasted was a step closer to death- and I wasn't kidding when I said our chances were probably better for recovering from hypothermia.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Melissa and Travis make it to her car, Nicole right behind them. Chad, Hunter, Harry and Joan were hot on my heels. I didn't have to bother to unlock the doors. My suburban predated electronic locks, and the town was so small that normally I didn't bother locking them all individually. We scrambled in so hard that it rocked. The old shocks squealed and squeaked in protest. I dove into the driver's seat and slammed my key into the ignition, ignoring the seat belt and everything else while the others dragged themselves in and hauled the doors shut behind them.

I didn't do a head count before peeling out. That came back to me later. It was a miracle no one got left behind. If they had it would have been my fault.

I still feel guilty about that.

I saw them coming around the corner of the house in the rear view mirror. Not my friends, but the corpses. I was full on panicking. Each heartbeat felt like a punch to the ribs. My breath felt like razor blades. I was so, so sure that I was going to puke as swung onto the highway- already doing eighty before we'd done a half mile. Joan was still sobbing in the back seat- Hunter was crying too. I think I would have joined them if I hadn't been too busy shaking.

"Does anyone have a phone?" Chad asked. It was a great idea- I glanced at him in the rear view mirror and saw him covered in the old blanket I kept in the truck bed. His hair was trying to frost. He had a cellphone in his palm. I started to ask what was wrong with it when Joan chimed in-

"Yeah, but no bars."

"I'm going straight to the police station." I said. Being that I was the one driving, nobody else had much say in it.

"What if they don't believe us?" Joan whispered.

"They're going to." Harry said woodenly, staring straight ahead, "They made them illegal for a reason."

"Why didn't they TELL US?" Hunter demanded. Nobody answered. I guess nobody had an answer.

It was a tense, long period of silence- during which I checked the rear view mirror a dozen times. Not just checking for weird, frozen zombies, but for headlights.

Where was Melissa's car? My old Suburban couldn't have been that much faster.

My palms were sweating and prickling on the steering wheel. I tried not to think about it- or draw attention to it- the last fifteen minutes into town. Part of me was HOPING to get pulled over by a cop, but as was typical, there was never one around when I wanted one to be.

I kept looking for them, even as we barreled into town and into the safety of the slushy gray parking lot of the sheriff's department. I nearly drove right through the front doors. The whole car lurched from the force of that stop, but I hadn't even slammed it into park before the others were scrambling out the doors and pouring into the station like a biblical flood of half-frozen, half-dressed teenagers.

Everyone was talking at once. I was the last in- keeping one eye on the window and the road while the others babbled at Olly, the receptionist. He was a nice old man in his fifties, at least, and I could tell he understood about zero of what was being said. Until Harry stepped forward and put his hands on the desk, anyway. Everyone else finally stopped talking.

"I made a snow angel." He stated. Calmly. Factually. If it weren't for how pale his face were and how tight his bloodless lips had become, I would have thought he WAS calm.

Olly's face fell. His chair clattered as it rolled back, allowing him to stand up.

"I'll go get the sheriff." I knew then that it was every bit as serious as we thought it was. We hadn't imagined any of it. It wasn't some case of... mass hysteria or something.

"There's something else." I added, pausing to look at the window- hoping to see Melissa's car pulling in at the last second. It never did.

"I haven't seen Melissa, Travis or Nicole since we left the house."

Olly's expression turned more grave, if that was possible. The Sheriff was Melissa and Nicole's father.

He turned and hustled to the back faster than I've ever actually seen him move before. There was a tense moment. A hushed exchange of words and rising voices, and then Sheriff Basket came striding down the hallway, bigger than life. He was a massive wall of a man, and all of us had always been a little intimidated by him. He'd never been mean, exactly. He was just stern. Quiet. Had a direct, down to earth way of dealing with things and usually that involved as few words as possible.

"How many where there." Case in point.

I didn't understand what he was asking, at first, but Harry got it straightaway.

"Two, but I think a third was climbing out when we left."

I watched Olly getting some emergency blankets and jumpsuits out of the back for the others. For Chad, anyway. Hunter, Joan, Harry and I were all more or less dressed. Olly passed me a blanket anyway. I mumbled a thank you.

"What did the first one look like?" The sheriff demanded.

"It was a woman!" Joan shouted. Her voice sounded reedy and thin. I thought maybe she was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"She had on this dress... thing." Chad added, more subdued, "And she was blonde, I think. It's hard to remember."

"She was pretty." Hunter whispered, sinking into his blanket and the wall at the same time, "She looked so sad."

The sheriff looked visibly relieved, but his face was still tight with stress and concern. He looked gray, actually. His skin, his hair, even his eyes. I didn't blame him. I was only a teenager myself at the time, but already I could sympathize- the terror he must have felt, knowing his kids were out there. In danger. Not knowing if he'd arrive in time, or what might have befallen them.

"It could be worse." He muttered to himself- I don't think we were meant to hear.

"You kids stay here. Olly, call their parents. You lot were at The Olsen place, right?" He pinned us with a severe look. I nodded. I'm pretty sure the others did too. I heard one or two meek 'yes sir's, "Your parents can explain when they get here." Those last few words were so clipped and bitten off that I could hear his teeth click on some of the syllables.

I, for one, wasn't about to argue. I wanted to see my mom and dad more than anything in the world in that moment. I was still young enough that for me they represented the epitome of safety. Nothing bad could happen to me when my parents were there, in my adolescent mind. They were still invulnerable giants. The axis upon which the world turned.

I watched in silence as he checked his revolver and then went to the munitions room and came back with a shotgun and a box of shells. He walked out into the night without even a nod in our direction. His eyes were already on the road. He looked to me like a man going to war. As if he weren't sure he was going to come back, and was prepared to accept that.

Resigned, but also determined.

"Come on, kids." Olly spread his arms and herded us all toward the back of the station, "Let's get you warmed up. If any of you have a working phone, now's the time to go ahead and call your parents- it'll be better coming from your number than the police station's. Those of you who don't- sorry." He joked and pointed an ominous finger at the payphone on the wall and the stack of quarters beside it.

He was a nice old man- had kind of a beardless santa vibe- but it was hard to ignore the tightness in his voice. And around his eyes.

Poor Olly. He had to be pushing sixty. He'd been working in the sheriff's department since I was a kid. Sometimes he came to help provide 'security' at events in town. He'd never been anything but cheerful and friendly. Seeing him so pale made me feel...

Helpless.

What we'd seen at Harry's house still hadn't completely sunk in yet. A part of me thought that I was going to wake up any second, and that it would all turn out to have been a bad dream. All around me the others were calling their parents. I heard phones ringing. A couple had already picked up. Voices were cracking. Muffled sobs and sniffles filled the open office space.

I looked aimlessly between desks for a little while, my brain not quite having caught up to the idea I should be doing what they were all doing. Eventually my gaze drifted to Harry, only to find him looking back. It struck me then that he didn't have anybody TO call. His mom was... well, he couldn't call her, and his dad was probably still on the plane.

Which meant he didn't have anybody but me.

"I guess we should call mom and dad." I tried to smile, fumbling my cell out of my pocket, "They'll be pissed if they're the last ones to know." Internally I cringed. Why had I said that? Especially after literally just thinking he couldn't call HIS dad?

Harry only nodded.

My mom picked up on the second ring. I called her first because I figured she'd be the least likely to yank my ass through the phone to chew me a new one. I needn't have bothered, it turned out.

"We're on our way." She said before I could even say hello, "Stay put." And then she hung up- but before she did I heard keys jingling in the background and the car starting up. Cellphones were notoriously unreliable in my town. A text could be sent and hang in limbo for a week before arriving at it's destination. Calls often just failed to connect.

I glanced down at the phone in my hand and up at Harry, running my fingers over the glossy screen.

"They're on their way." I reported. Harry just nodded again.

My house was only twenty minutes away from the station on a bad day. My parents made it in seven. I guess that's where I got my lead foot from.

Joan and Chad's parents made it first- but only by a few minutes. Both sets swarmed their respective offspring. There was a lot of scolding and fussing and anxious questions. I couldn't help but think they looked like pre-schoolers. Small and lost and wide-eyed despite their ages. Maybe it was because I was feeling like one myself. Just a small kid on a big playground.

Woefully out of my league.

And then my parents came rushing through the door. Mom's coat was barely on- unfastened and hanging off of her as she stormed in. Dad's boots were untied. They looked like they'd dropped everything and run to come get me, and I was so grateful for it. It was the most loved feeling I think a person could have. Dad rushed to me, but mom paused mid-step and diverted to Harry.

I wasn't jealous. I was weak-kneed with gratitude. Trust my parents- the ADULTS- to know how to make right the things I didn't have the tools to fix myself. I learned a lot about empathy and maturity that day, watching my mom fuss over Harry as if he was her own. He'd been my best friend since childhood. He'd practically grown up in our house, and I in his. My parents were the closest thing he had to his own in that moment. Maybe better, knowing his parents like I did.

She checked him over like the other parents were checking their kids. Hands and face, arms and neck.

"Thank god you're okay." Dad said, catching me up and squeezing me like I was nine again. I squeezed him right back, fighting tears.

"They didn't touch you? You're alright?" Mom was asking Harry. All he could do was nod, I assume. His eyes were suspiciously bright.

"It's okay," Mom said, giving him the same kind of hug dad was giving me just then, "It's going to be okay."

"Melissa and Nicole were in the other car." Chad half yelled. I know he was talking to his own parents, but all of them stopped and looked at one another- sharing the look of horror and tense gratitude. How awful, but thank god mine are alright.

"Olly said you'd explain when you got here." I wiped my eyes on the back of my sleeve and looked up at my father's face. His blue eyes were haunted and unhappy, but he nodded once.

"Yeah. I guess it's time. Normally we tell the graduating class after the ceremony..."

Mom looked up. They met eyes for a little while. I imagine they were searching for the words- for a good place to begin.

"Why didn't anyone explain BEFORE?" Joan demanded, "Why didn't anybody warn us?"

"Let's just- let's start with the most immediate problem." My dad suggested when no one else spoke up, "Tackle one thing at a time. First of all, what did the first thing through look like?" I don't know if it occurred to the others, but it struck me that this was the second time we'd been asked- and both times it had been the first question, after asking if we were okay.

"She was blonde, and pale. And wearing a weird dress. She looked like she was in pain." I supplied, anchored by the presence of my parents.

It seemed to me that every adult in the room heaved a little sigh of relief.

"That's good. I mean, it's not great, but it's better than it could be." Mom muttered, wandering over to the pile of blankets on the desk and absently gathering one. I watched her bring it over to Harry to drape around his shoulders, fussing with the way it hung until there were no wrinkles to smooth out anymore.

"We'll start with that, then." Dad took a deep breath, "We call her the Angel. That's what our grandparents called her. I assume that's what THEIR grandparents called her. Of all the harbingers, she's the least violent. She'll lead the people behind her to the nearest, most easily accessible source of heat. Once they're all thawed they'll... go away again." As dad explained I absently rubbed my chest- it hurt, like I'd pulled a muscle.

Harry looked up, expression going from numb and distracted to suddenly upset.

"Melissa's car. Amy's heat doesn't work, I- they must have-"

Dad looked grim, but nodded.

"It's possible. Especially if the doors to the house were locked. The good news is they won't have hurt the others unless they tried to stop them. The bad news is, if the car stops running or the heat quits, they'll go back to trying to get into the house."

Everyone took a minute to digest that.

"So... all they want is to get warm?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Dad nodded, "But only if the harbinger is the Angel."

"O-kay-" Chad looked up at his parents, "But what ARE they?"

"As far as we can tell," Chad's mom was the school nurse- a petite blonde lady with a 'Can I speak to your manager' haircut, but as sweet as could be- answered this time, "They were people. People who used to live here at some point. People who... died. In the cold."

"Then there can't be that many, right?" Joan suggested hopefully. It was a hope I didn't realize I shared until that moment. Surely one or two frozen zombies were a lot better than a horde, though.

"Dozens, at least forty." My own mother put in. She gave Harry a little squeeze and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry honey. There's other's... but they don't all come at the same time, usually. It all depends on the harbinger, like we said. Usually it's no more than eight or nine at a time, but sometimes, when the shepherd comes through-"

"The who? The WHAT?" Travis cried, his voice warbling a high, awkward note that I thought he'd left behind in middle school.

"Harbingers are-" Dad rubbed his fingers together, obviously searching for the words, "They're like the leaders. Only one comes through at a time. They're the first out through the gate when it's open- when a snow angel is made. Some of them, like the Angel, are mostly harmless. Mostly. There's four that we know of. Four that we were told about. Her, the Shepherd, the Prophet, and the Hermit."

He walked away from me while he spoke, folding his hands behind his back and pacing over to the desk and from there to the window.

"The Angel comes with eight or nine others, who are mostly peaceful. They'll smash doors and windows if they have to, but so long as they're left alone and you don't attempt to harm them they're harmless. They'll find the nearest source of heat and stay there until they're all... warm... again."

I didn't want to think about that too hard. I hoped it was more... supernatural than it sounded, because the way he put it made me think of a bunch of warming corpses in a room, and that made my stomach churn.

"The Shepherd is one of the worst. They- he, we think- comes through with all of the followers. And he's not content with just them, either. He hunts down anyone he can find when he comes through and will drag them out into the cold to die and join his herd. He sends the others, too. If he ever gets through the only thing to do is start the siren and get to the bunkers around town, and then pray that the barricades last until dawn."

I started to shake just thinking about it. Imagining it was... it made me feel cold from the inside out. I shared a look with Harry, knowing he felt the same way. How close we'd all come to THAT. What he had to be feeling knowing that he'd almost let THAT through.

"Then there's the Prophet. She won't outright hurt you, but if she finds you she'll... it's hard to explain. She puts people to sleep, in a way. Mesmerizes them with a song- and when you're under, apparently you have visions. Of the past. Of things that happened in this town." Compared to the Shepherd that sounded like a fuckin' cakewalk.

"But you're there until she's done with you. Which could be hours. And wherever she catches you, which might be out in the cold, or in the shower, or-" He left the rest up to imagination, "Her followers put out lights. They pull down electric lines and will smash lamps."

Okay. That sounded less ideal, but still a whole lot better than the zombie-murder Woodstock.

"The Hermit is the worst, though." My dad looked at Hunter's parents and then Joan's, and finally sighed like he didn't want to be the one to say the words.

"They come alone, and unlike the others they won't vanish at daylight. They keep hunting, keep killing, following the people of the town no matter where they run until a sacrifice is made. Our parents thought that might have been where the new harbingers come from. Sacrifices to make the Hermit go away."

"That's horrible!" Joan gasped. I cringed too. It was awful to think about. Deliberately selecting someone you knew, someone who you LIVED with to go die. And then making that happen! Killing them in the worst way I could imagine.

How did you even begin?

"But it's just the Angel this time." Hunter said, his voice shaking.

"Yeah," My dad nodded, "She should be gone by morning."

So that was it, then. We just had to make it to morning, and then everything would be okay. Right?

It wasn't, though. In fact, I can confidently say that was the beginning of the end- the slow roll into the destruction of the town, and the majority of the people who lived there.

For a time it was quiet. A few of us managed to fall asleep, either in the padded benches of the holding cells or in the chairs lined up against the walls. I was still wide awake, watching the windows with Harry and clutching a cup of hot cocoa for warmth. The hands of the clock barely seemed to move, and then-

With a pop and a crackle, the dispatch radio came to life.

It was the sheriff. I didn't understand the codes he was using, but I got the gist of it pretty good from everything that was said between.

Multiple 123s, more units required. Send medical and the blasters.

After that it was a flurry of voices and sirens. Orders were being shouted. Sirens blared. Olly sat behind his desk and closed his eyes. His lips moved silently, tracing the words of some prayer. I reached for Harry's hand, but the look in his eye- he was practically on the moon. So far away I couldn't reach him.

We both knew that it was going to be bad.

We didn't know HOW bad until one of the other officers started talking.

"We've got two injured juveniles in route to the hospital. Clear the roads, provide escort where possible."

Only two?

"We've got eyes on them. Eight. Angel is missing, repeat, the Angel is missing. One victim unaccounted for. All units respond." It went on like that for a while. The noise woke up everyone who'd managed to fall asleep. One by one we gathered at the window, watching for the flashing lights as they sped like shooting stars down the main road toward our tiny, provincial hospital.

Wondering who was inside. And if they'd make it.

Eventually the noise from the radios died down to chatter back and forth between officers sweeping the woods. I gathered bits and pieces, but no more. Something about a set of bare footprints heading into the woods. Something else about a second, fresher set of tracks behind. Both vanished near the pond. The search went on, but nothing else important was said.

Eventually the first blush of dawn touch the sky. We watched it rise, Harry and I, side by side, as the first of the officers returned to the station- muddy and disheartened. The adults gathered in a huddle with them. I wasn't meant to overhear, but my ears had always been sharp. Like the radio, now in person, I caught snatches that were just enough to paint a picture.

'Travis and Nicole'

'Broken arm. Severe frostbite. Should recover.'

'Melissa. Missing. Old lake. Angel.'

They told the rest of us a barely edited version of events a few hours later. Travis and Nicole had been found outside Harry's place. Travis had a broken arm. Both he and Nicole had pretty bad frostbite and were suffering from hypothermia, but were expected to mostly recover.

Melissa was still missing. They thought the Angel's flock had mobbed the car while Nicole was still getting in. Melissa had gotten it started, but hadn't driven away immediately because her sister wasn't fully inside yet. Travis had taken the passenger seat, and Nicole couldn't get in past him, he was too big-

Well, the delay was enough for the heater to get started. The dead had converged on the heat, and when Travis tried to fight back they'd tossed him aside like an old newspaper.

Melissa must have run. She didn't know what we'd just been told. She probably thought they were being attacked. I mean, that's what I would have thought- did think. But in the end, I guess it doesn't really matter why she ran into the woods. They never did find her. We all went home, one by one. Harry's dad came home on the next plane, but, understandably, Harry didn't want to stay in that house anymore.

They moved away a couple of months later. Not long after Nicole and Travis finally got out of the hospital. Travis ended up losing the arm- the frostbite combined with the break made it impossible to save. They tried, but in the end there was nothing to be done. Nicole recovered physically alright. She lost a few toes and a finger, but the real damage was psychological. Losing her older sister like that... the way it all went down.

She was never the same.

The rest of us got together after graduation. The same 'party' where the town's secrets would originally have been explained to us. It turned out there were a few things we still hadn't been told.

"I just don't understand why anyone lives here at all," Joan was saying to Mr. Harkman, our former math teacher- for pretty much our entire lives. The town wasn't big enough that we really needed more than one or two. There were rarely more than thirty kids per grade. I was standing by myself under a pennant banner, watching the flecks of light from the disco ball swim around the floor.

She was going off to college next spring. So was I. I think we all were, except Nicole and Travis- and Hunter, I think. He'd decided to stay behind. Or maybe he couldn't afford college. I don't know, I never thought to ask.

"Most people do leave." Mr. Harkman sighed, "I think we all tried to escape at one point or another."

"Escape?" Chad, who'd been over in the corner beside Hunter and a couple of other kids from our grade, lifted his head to ask. By then the story of that night had spread to every kid in our tiny high school, regardless of grade. I can't help but think that was a good thing.

"Well why'd they come back, then?" Joan demanded heatedly in the same moment. Her face was flushed, her eyes glittering.

"Your parents didn't tell you?" Mr. Harkman looked surprised, and then just sad, "I'm sorry. I guess I can see why. The thing is, you can leave the town just fine- until you have kids. And then... the town pulls you back. Things happen. You lose your job, you have an accident, your plane or bus gets rerouted. You black out and wake up back here, in town, with your kid. It's inevitable. If you try to leave, you end up here again."

A hush fell over the room. I don't know if they were thinking the same thing I was, but my very first thought was-

I'm never having kids.

Poor Harry. If only anyone had told HIM.
submitted by Themascura to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 01:18 Sonosaki [H] HB keys leftovers [W] Paypal

IGS: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/8ad28l/sonosakis_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/useSonosaki/comments/ad0jzd/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_2/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/c9lzcz/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_3/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ejo7ho/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_4/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/hpc9xc/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_5/
Steam Profile
Humble Bundle Keys
Wants: Paypal (US preferred)
Please note: After the recent reports for Humble Bundle suspensions from some users, I will be issuing keys instead of gift links in order to protect my account.
submitted by Sonosaki to GameTrade [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 01:17 Sonosaki [H] HB keys leftovers [W] Paypal

IGS: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/8ad28l/sonosakis_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/useSonosaki/comments/ad0jzd/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_2/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/c9lzcz/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_3/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ejo7ho/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_4/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/hpc9xc/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_5/
Steam Profile
Humble Bundle Keys
Wants: Paypal (US preferred)
Please note: After the recent reports for Humble Bundle suspensions from some users, I will be issuing keys instead of gift links in order to protect my account.
submitted by Sonosaki to indiegameswap [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 01:15 Sonosaki [H] HB keys leftovers [W] Paypal

IGS: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/8ad28l/sonosakis_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/useSonosaki/comments/ad0jzd/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_2/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/c9lzcz/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_3/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ejo7ho/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_4/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/hpc9xc/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_5/
Steam Profile
Humble Bundle Keys
Wants: Paypal (US preferred)
Please note: After the recent reports for Humble Bundle suspensions from some users, I will be issuing keys instead of gift links in order to protect my account.
submitted by Sonosaki to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 00:08 Sonosaki [H] HB keys leftovers [W] Paypal

IGS: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/8ad28l/sonosakis_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/useSonosaki/comments/ad0jzd/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_2/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/c9lzcz/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_3/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ejo7ho/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_4/
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/hpc9xc/sonosakis_igs_rep_page_5/
Steam Profile
Humble Bundle Keys
Wants: Paypal (US preferred)
Please note: After the recent reports for Humble Bundle suspensions from some users, I will be issuing keys instead of gift links in order to protect my account.
submitted by Sonosaki to GameTrade [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 23:41 a_modest_espeon [H] Opus Magnum, Spyro Reignited, Squad, Tales of Berseria and a TON of other games [W] Games/Offers

I do not accept paypal, game trades only
My rep from indiegameswap
Have:
11-11 Memories Retold
2064: Read Only Memories
7 Grand Steps
A Good Snowman is Hard to Build
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
The Adventure Pals
AER Memories of Old
Age of Wonders III
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
All You Can Eat
Armello
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
The Ball
Bastion
Batman Arkham Origins
Battle Chef Brigade
Beat Hazard Ultra
Beholder
Bendy and the Ink Machine™
Binary Domain
BioShock™ Remastered
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Bleed 2
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
Burly Men At Sea
Call of Duty®: WWII +DLC (Fear Not, Bravery)
Chasm
Company of Heroes 2 +Pattern Pack
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy
Crawl
Crazy Taxi
Crowntakers
Cultist Simulator
Darkside Detective
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition
Death Squared
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
Drawful 2
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duck Game
Dungeons 3
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
The Dwarves
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 + dlc and shit
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elite Dangerous
Ellipsis
Endless Space - Collection
Euro Truck Simulator 2 + Austraila paint dlc
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Feather
Fibbage XL
Fight'N Rage
Finding Paradise
The First Tree
Fluffy Horde
Football Manager 2020
Framed Collection
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Frog Detective
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered
GameMaker Studio Pro
The Gardens Between
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
GNOG
God's Trigger
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
GRID 2
Guacamelee! 2
Guns of Icarus Online
Gunscape
Hacknet + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC
Hand of Fate 2
Hard Reset Redux
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden Folks
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hollow Knight
Hyper Light Drifter
I'm not a Monster
In Between
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition
INK Deluxe Edition
Jackbox Party Pack 2
Jackbox Party Pack 4
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
JumpJet Rex
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Kingdom Classic
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Late Shift
Layers of Fear
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
Leviathan Warships
Lostwinds
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Magicka
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Metro Redux Bundle key only
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Mini Metro
MINIT
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Mr. Shifty
Mushroom 11
Music Maker EDM Edition + 10 dollar voucher code
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
NBA 2K20
Neo Cab
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Nex Machina
Niche
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
>observer_
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overgrowth (plus a secret link)
Overlord II
Oxenfree
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pale Echoes
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Party Hard
Pesterquest
Pikuniku
Pinstripe
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Plunge
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Project Highrise
Project Highrise
Psychonauts
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Rapture Rejects + Safari Outfit DLC
Realpolitiks
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil Revelations
Retro Game Crunch
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road to Ballhalla
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rusty Lake Paradise
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited
Secrets of Raetikon
Shelter 2
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Slay the Spire
Slipstream
Small Radios Big Televisions
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite V2
Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing
SOULCALIBUR VI
Speed Brawl
Spelunky
Spirits
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game
The Stillness of the Wind
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular
Sundered
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving Mars
Sword Legacy Omen
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tangledeep + Soundtrack
Team Indie
Telltale Texas Hold'em
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Tower of Guns
Tower Unite
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter, Town Scenery
Tropico 4
Undertale
Unexplored
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
VVVVVV
Waking Mars
Westerado: Double Barreled
White Noise 2
Windward
The Witness
Wizard of Legend
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
Wuppo
Yakuza Kiwami
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
And other shit i probably have from recent bundles
Figmint
Vermintide
Darksiders 2: Deathinitive Edition
Sudden Strike 4
The Surge
Pony Island
Little Nightmares
Zombie Night Terror
Screencheat
Freedom Planet
American Truck Simulator
Tales of Berseria
Kingdom: New Lands
Other Keys
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
GUNS UP! Starter Pack + TV Head
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Star Trek Online - Humble Trekkie Pack
Shadow Complex Remastered (epic launcher key)
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
Want:
Offers (Ignore means no)
Oneshot (multiple copies are preferable)
Subnautica (multiple copies are good)
Wandersong
Wishlist is sparse but im open to any offer
Anything on my wishlist
Feel free to offer any games for one of mine, preferably a list to browse
submitted by a_modest_espeon to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 23:41 a_modest_espeon [H] Opus Magnum, Spyro Reignited, Squad, Tales of Berseria and a TON of other games [W] Games/Offers

I do not accept paypal, game trades only
My rep from indiegameswap
Have:
11-11 Memories Retold
2064: Read Only Memories
7 Grand Steps
A Good Snowman is Hard to Build
A Mortician's Tale
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Aaero
The Adventure Pals
AER Memories of Old
Age of Wonders III
Agents of Mayhem
AI War: Fleet Command
Alien Spidy
All You Can Eat
Armello
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Assassin's Creed® Origins
Assault Android Cactus
The Ball
Bastion
Batman Arkham Origins
Battle Chef Brigade
Beat Hazard Ultra
Beholder
Bendy and the Ink Machine™
Binary Domain
BioShock™ Remastered
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2
Bleed 2
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
Burly Men At Sea
Call of Duty®: WWII +DLC (Fear Not, Bravery)
Chasm
Company of Heroes 2 +Pattern Pack
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy
Crawl
Crazy Taxi
Crowntakers
Cultist Simulator
Darkside Detective
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition
Death Squared
Distance
DISTRAINT 2 + Soundtrack
Distrust
Double Fine Adventure Documentary
Drawful 2
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
Duck Game
Dungeons 3
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition
The Dwarves
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 + dlc and shit
EarthNight
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elite Dangerous
Ellipsis
Endless Space - Collection
Euro Truck Simulator 2 + Austraila paint dlc
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Feather
Fibbage XL
Fight'N Rage
Finding Paradise
The First Tree
Fluffy Horde
Football Manager 2020
Framed Collection
Freedom Force
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich
Frog Detective
FTL
Full Metal Furies
Full Throttle Remastered
GameMaker Studio Pro
The Gardens Between
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
GNOG
God's Trigger
Gonner
GRAV (Early Access)
GRID 2
Guacamelee! 2
Guns of Icarus Online
Gunscape
Hacknet + Hacknet Labyrinths DLC
Hand of Fate 2
Hard Reset Redux
Hexcells Complete Pack
Hidden Folks
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hollow Knight
Hyper Light Drifter
I'm not a Monster
In Between
Injustice Gods Among Us Ultimate Edition
INK Deluxe Edition
Jackbox Party Pack 2
Jackbox Party Pack 4
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
JumpJet Rex
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Kingdom Classic
Knights of Pen and Paper 2
Late Shift
Layers of Fear
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
Leviathan Warships
Lostwinds
Lumino City
Luna's Wandering Stars
Machinarium
Mad Max
Magicka
Majesty 2
Majesty Gold HD
Marooners
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Massive Chalice
Metro Redux Bundle key only
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Mini Metro
MINIT
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Loves You
MOTHERGUNSHIP
Mr. Shifty
Mushroom 11
Music Maker EDM Edition + 10 dollar voucher code
My Memory of Us
My Time at Portia
NBA 2K20
Neo Cab
Neon Drive (Steam)
Newt One
Nex Machina
Niche
Ninja Pizza Girl
No Time to Explain Remastered
>observer_
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
Opus Magnum
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Overgrowth (plus a secret link)
Overlord II
Oxenfree
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Pale Echoes
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Party Hard
Pesterquest
Pikuniku
Pinstripe
Plague Inc: Evolved
Planet of the Eyes
Plunge
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Project Highrise
Project Highrise
Psychonauts
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Q.U.B.E. 2
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut
Quest of Dungeons
Quiplash
Rapture Rejects + Safari Outfit DLC
Realpolitiks
Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville
Regency Solitaire
Regions of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball
Remnants of Isolation
Resident Evil Revelations
Retro Game Crunch
Rime
Rise and Shine
Rising Dusk
Rituals
Road to Ballhalla
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken
ROCKETSROCKETSROCKETS
Rusty Lake Paradise
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Satellite Reign
Screencheat
Scribblenauts Unlimited
Secrets of Raetikon
Shelter 2
Shenmue I & II
shutshimi
SimplePlanes
SIMULACRA
Slay the Spire
Slipstream
Small Radios Big Televisions
Sniper Elite
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite V2
Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing
SOULCALIBUR VI
Speed Brawl
Spelunky
Spirits
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Squad (Early Access)
StarCrossed
State of Mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stick Fight: The Game
The Stillness of the Wind
Streamline Early Access
Streets of Rage
Stronghold Crusader 2
Subsurface Circular
Sundered
Super Daryl Deluxe
Super Galaxy Squadron EX
Super Hexagon
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Super House of the Dead Ninjas
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT
Surgeon Simulator + Anniversary Ed. Content
Surviving Mars
Sword Legacy Omen
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tangledeep + Soundtrack
Team Indie
Telltale Texas Hold'em
Think of the Children
Thirty Flights of Loving
This is the Police
This War of Mine
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit
Tilt Brush
TIMEframe
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Tokyo 42
Tooth and Tail
Torment: Tides of Numenera
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Tower of Guns
Tower Unite
Train Simulator 2017 + Platform Clutter, Town Scenery
Tropico 4
Undertale
Unexplored
Verdun
Vertiginous Golf
Void Bastards
Volgarr the Viking
VVVVVV
Waking Mars
Westerado: Double Barreled
White Noise 2
Windward
The Witness
Wizard of Legend
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
Wuppo
Yakuza Kiwami
Yooka-Laylee
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK HEADRUSH
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK MOVIES
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SPORTS
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK TELEVISION
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 1 XL
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 2
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 3
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 4: The Ride
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Vol. 6 The Lost Gold
Ziggurat
And other shit i probably have from recent bundles
Figmint
Vermintide
Darksiders 2: Deathinitive Edition
Sudden Strike 4
The Surge
Pony Island
Little Nightmares
Zombie Night Terror
Screencheat
Freedom Planet
American Truck Simulator
Tales of Berseria
Kingdom: New Lands
Other Keys
Battleborn Starter Skin Pack
GUNS UP! Starter Pack + TV Head
Mage and Minions - $10 In-Game Currency
Star Trek Online - Humble Trekkie Pack
Shadow Complex Remastered (epic launcher key)
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 1 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 2 DLC
Killing Floor - Community Weapon Pack 3 DLC
XCOM® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
XCOM® 2: Reinforcement Pack
Want:
Offers (Ignore means no)
Oneshot (multiple copies are preferable)
Subnautica (multiple copies are good)
Wandersong
Wishlist is sparse but im open to any offer
Anything on my wishlist
Feel free to offer any games for one of mine, preferably a list to browse
submitted by a_modest_espeon to indiegameswap [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 09:07 Robert_Wolfe The Spaceman

My son Jacob first told me of the spaceman on the 3rd of October, 2004. I remember the date because it was the same day the coastal guard found Alexander Johansson’s lifejacket in the Hvárrtveggja Lake, without the boy inside it.
It was an awful day. Bleak and dour with a small chance of rain. Me, the Johansson’s, and a few other concerned neighbors split our numbers into small search parties. Together we scoured the lake for three weeks without anything to show for it. I thought it pretty obvious by the second day that the kid had gone and drowned himself, but I wasn’t about to say that. Might’ve been wrong after all, but of course I wasn’t. The kid was gone. Swallowed up by the dark waters. The Johansson’s never gave up hope, of course. You could hear it in their wails by the end of the third day, when the coastal guard reported their findings. Me and the others arrived back to the Johansson residence just in time to see the family irreversibly fall to pieces… at which point, after offering some sincere but ultimately worthless condolences, I grabbed Jacob and got the hell out of there. Wasn’t about to let my son be traumatized by the emotional fallout. Besides, we were just the neighbors down the road. We hadn’t earned a seat in their house of sorrows, so we left the family and their friends to their newfound grief, now that they had plenty to spare.
We trot along a gravel path near the lakeside as the dark waves ofHvárrtveggja died over the shore. It was sundown. The vestigial light gathered in pools amidst the waters, creating something like an oily mesh of black and red. Beautiful on other days, maybe, but for me the waves had a different suggestion, and I couldn’t help but imagine a tiny pale form floating beneath the surface; a silhouette with fresh pale skin cut against the backdrop of darkness. A dead child suspended in void. I remember wanting a cigarette. A drink. Anything. Jacob said that he wanted hot cocoa, at which point I got my priorities straight. I was lucky, after all. My son was still above the depths. So, I took a knee and fumbled for words. This was the first time he’d been confronted by death - bytruedeath - and I wanted to make sure he was okay, which he was, surprisingly, even as I stumbled out that harsh truth, that his neighbor and friend wouldn’t be around no more. Jacob simply nodded and told me a rather imaginative ’re-interpretation’ of the afternoon’s events.
”The Spaceman took him.” He’d said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I think he then asked if I could make him some hot cocoa when we got back. I told him I’d make him all the hot cocoa he wanted, and then some. I let it slide. To hell with it.
Let him process it through imagination, that’s how I reasoned. That was a mistake on my part, in retrospect. Maybe I consciously choose to avoid a conversation I didn’t feel properly equipped to deal with. Maybe I wanted him to feel at ease in the face of this great tragedy. Whatever the case, whatever I did wrong, I waswrong. I realize that now.
I should have pressed him more about that fucking spaceman.
_________________
I feel disgusting.
If you haven’t had the displeasure of hearing about Hvárrtveggja, then congratulations to you. Can’t say you have been missing much in terms of scenery. It’s a grand lake located in Minnesota, somewhere west of the Mainshire county. The horrendous name is Scandinavian in origin, something of a memento brought over by immigrants some time ago in the early 19s. It’s all hemlocks and low barren isles. It’s history, however, is another beast altogether, one I intend to drag into the light, even if it kills me. I suppose that’s why I’m writing this, because tomorrow I’m going hunting and I might not return, and if I don’t, well: the people have a right to know why. They needto know why, even though they might not be ready for it. The Johansson’s weren’t. I tried telling them the truth a few years ago and they called me insane, told me in a roundabout way to fuck off. That’s their prerogative, I guess. The lifejacket was all that remained. Curiously it was put on properly, strapped and all, but there was still no boy inside. Neither was there anything else missing, like a canoe, or boat, or bicycle; shit, there weren’t any tracks in the surrounding vegetation, no muddy foot tracks on the cliffside, and neither parent or neighbor nor I, for that matter, had seen or heard anything out of the ordinary. The following weeks the lakebed was scoured, and it availed the Johansson’s nothing. No clothes, no accessories, no shoes, no corpse, no nothing. You would be justified in thinking that Alexander Johansson simply vanished into thin air.
The Spaceman took him.
So declared my four-year-old, and Alexander’s grave remains empty to this day.
Was a while before we visited Hvárrtveggja after that. This posed a problem for me, in a fashion. My father built our lakeside house. He built the foundation, erected the lodge, and hammered in the roof with his own hands, and I was there for the lot of it. Helped him as best I could, which is to say I simply followed instructions. Fetch this, hold that, get more; that sort of thing. In a way I grew up around the lake. After the Johansson incident, well, the place began to feel perverse, or profane. The dark waves that died over those shores were no longer synonymous with my childhood, rather a childhood, one that no longer belonged to me. It’s terrible how tragedy warps your perspective. I began to remember things differently. It was like depraved visions started to intrude and take precedence over and on all my childhood memories that involved the lake and those dark waters, and even though I no longer remember the face of young Alexander, he still remains immortalized in my head as a corpse; just a fickle thing, a palled, naked, lifeless form floating beneath the waves in boundless silence, with a yawning expression and lungs full of water. It’s like an involuntary thought that cuts mercilessly through every synapse in association with memory and imagination, and I can see him, clear as crystal. He doesn’t frighten me anymore. Not really. It’s the other shapes beneath the waves that scare me. I can’t run from them. In that way it’s like Hvárrtveggja has become part of me. I have drunk from its waters and found myself poisoned.
It was a slow process. Me, succumbing to the influence of that ridiculous lake. Caused some problems back home. You know, a lot of stuff was hitting me at the time. I was younger, obviously, and a single father who’ve had his world turned upside down. My father had just died, as fathers eventually do, and I inherited the place and tried to do for my son what my father had done for me. I wanted to give Jacob some memories to cherish but instead I made him privy to the fact that we’re fickle things. Fleeting. Things irrevocably come to pass and there’s rarely any resolution to it. The incident affected us in different ways, I think. I was left with a slow burning disease, while Jacob, well; he didn’t seem to care. Actually, he didn’t seem to care about anything anymore. Not really. He stopped talking and started drawing and settled on a singular subject. It was a bit disconcerting but what adult would shame a boy for being fascinated with astronauts? He got obsessed, and not in the way that invited learning. Whatever I explained about astronauts, moon bases, space, and Neil Armstrong got completely disregarded. He showed a remarkable lack of interest in the subject he obsessed over. Didn’t stop him from drawing though. His art was amusingly terrible. I don’t think I ever put together that the astronaut wasn’t standing on the moon but was rather rising from it. I did notice that the colors were never right, however. Never white.
Always brackish, with a dash of green, brown, and rust. The moon was wrong, too. Too poisonous a yellow to be considered parchment colored. This is shit that sticks out later, but at the time I didn’t care. I didn’t want to stifle his creativity. Besides, I had other things to worry about.
I started realizing that I had a hard time parenting. I also started realizing that Jacob wasn’t like the rest of the boys. Coincidentally this was a few years later, around the time that Hvárrtveggja started to act up again. There had been another death, though this one wasn’t considered a mystery. No one gave a shit as to why Boris Andersen’s bathrobe was found stuck in some reeds near his summerhouse, without the old man inside. No one cared that his grave remains empty for that matter. Boris was a 72 year old crazy Norwegian and a raging alcoholic, prone to binge drinking and profanity. I saw him a couple of times. He could be found on his jetty most days with newspaper, schnapps, and pipe in hand, none of which seemed capable of holding his interest. Nothing but the waves seemed to matter. He was a sad Scandinavian man, and he was apt to drunkenly piss off his jetty. People speculated that he was doing just that when he fell into Hvárrtveggja, and that he was too drunk to find his way out of the water. Jacob, naturally, speculated otherwise.
”The Spaceman took him.” He said. I told him to shut the fuck up. I feel it’s obvious how much I regret that, so I’ll just leave it at that. It’s inconsequential. What mattered is that I was stressed out of my mind trying to support the two of us financially, and then Jacob got worse. My son had issues, it turned out. Big surprise. He had learning problems, couldn’t focus, couldn’t socialize either, but worst of all was that he couldn’t regulate his own mood. He was prone to anger and outbursts, if disturbed - something his classmates capitalized on, of course, and he was bullied relentlessly. A lukewarm psychologist suggested he was on the autistic spectrum. Another said he had adhd. I wanted to kill all of them; the shithead kids, the idiot psychologists, the worthless administration. I was crushed by the notion of being a single father, caring for a disadvantaged child, because I felt I wasn’t strong enough to shoulder that burden alone.
Funny how I would leap at that opportunity now. There’s nothing fun about it, of course, but sometimes I like to imagine how things could have been. It brings me a bit of peace during the gloomier days… but I’m stalling, I think. I’ve been drinking. The bad part’s coming up.
We returned to Hvárrtveggja in Autumn, 2008.
I was planning to sell the house. I wasn’t exactly thrilled having to sell my father’s handiwork, but I lived in a world of absences; no partner, no parents, no financial security. Simply put, we were strapped for cash - living month to month, barely making rent, while the child psychologists were bleeding me dry. I failed. Couldn’t make ends meet. So I decided to sell the lakeside house, despite how much it hurt me. The autumn break would provide me the opportunity to catalogue the things we could sell, and I also thought it was a good way for me and Jacob to confront some personal demons. I asked him if he wanted to come. He said sure and then he asked for a chocolate chip cookie.
We should have steered clear of that place.
We didn’t, of course. I drove us both back to Hvárrtveggja lake.
Jacob realized something was wrong before I did. The first night back at the house had him screaming come nightfall. He would thrash and cry and scream bloody murder, and after I shook him awake all that horror on his face would simply just disappear, and he would be silent. Still. He would look at me strangely. Not a trace of emotion on his face. Nothing. I asked him if he had a nightmare. He said he didn’t remember. Then the next night it happened again. And again. Always the same. The nightmares got worse. I could hear him mutter strange words in his sleep. It was maddening; I cannot properly describe how frustrating it was, having him throw such a fit and then act completely unbothered after I had shaken him awake. Like the boy who cried wolf, he screamed as if he were about to be swallowed alive and then almost looked at me accusingly, as if I had ruined a good dream. My patience was stretched thin. We were on a tight schedule and running dangerously behind it, and he refused to engage with me. I told him the history of the house. About his grandfather. About the lake, the locals. Nothing. He cared about nothing, was aloof and distant and tired. The whole trip had been a tremendous disaster, but it wasn’t like I had anywhere else to put him, alright? His development was so stunted, and I couldn’t help but to feel responsible. He had no mother, no friends, an overworked father who couldn’t understand him; I decided then to treat him like an adult, simply put. To tell him why the situation was what it was, why our family was a set of two instead of three.
So, I rowed us out onto Hvárrtveggja lake in the middle of the night. Just some twenty yards off the jetty.
Nothing spectacular; Jacob was a good swimmer and we were wearing our lifejackets like proper boatsmen. It was a gentle night. A bit chilly. We were draped in blankets and drinking hot cocoa out of steaming cups, and then we began to converse a bit, underneath the light of the full moon. It was full. The lake was speckled with pools of silver.
I don’t even remember what we were talking about anymore. I’ve never been good with plans. My life has been a long sequence of poorly executed ideas and this time it was no different. All that remains is a memory of a memory. I’d like to believe that we were beginning to understand each other, a bit. I’d like to believe that we got to the part where I told him about his mother, and that we began to understand each other, if only a little bit more. Not that it matters.
None of it mattered as soon as the water started churning. It looked like it was boiling but it wasn’t boiling because the air remained chill and the water remained cold, but the water was fucking churning, like the depths had cracked open and screamed, and ferried inside all those pockets of air was the stench of death; a carrion breath, a miasma of rot seeping from the lake. It was beyond repulsive. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. I reached for the oars to ferry us ashore. That’s when the waters started glowing. With yellow the color of poison.
That’s when something rose from the lake.
I don’t know how to describe it. What emerged from the depths wasn’t human. It was a farce. A prop. A humanoid form, containing most of the characteristics of a human being, but it was just a masquerading thing; two legs and two arms don’t make you human and just because you have a head that happens to capture the general shape of a head doesn’t make you human, but it wasn’t any of that - it wasn’t the shape of it, okay? It was the way it moved as it climbed onto our rowboat. It was a structural parody; a gelatinous thing contained in the outline of a man, moving with writhing muscles disconnected from the bones, all of it contained in a rotting sack of rust and leather; eels, snakes, coiling innards and writhing worms, animating an age old relic of the human world. I think I went mad then.
Jacob was screaming. I was screaming. It was screaming and the inside of its mouth was yellow light. My memory ends here. What remains is a memory of a memory, and I remember remembering that I took one of the oars and blindly swung it against the thing, and that the blow connected. Yes, it must have connected. I cut through leather with the edge of the oar and light spilled from the wound, and it roared.
Then I was in the water. With a broken arm. That is my proof. The scar from where the bone protruded. It had swatted me aside like a fly and when I emerged for a lungful of air, I saw it standing over my son. Yes, I remember it standing over my son. Jacobs face was bleached yellow from the light of its mouth. It stretched out a gloved hand towards him. The glove moved but it wasn’t filled with fingers. I tried swimming. Tried to crawl through the water. Couldn’t get anywhere. Couldn’t do nothing. I screamed for help. Nothing happened. Jacob screamed for help. No-one came. I spat water and curses and wept and flailed and I managed to get to the rowboat, but it was already too late.
The Spaceman took him.
_________________
I sold my home, eventually.
Not the Hvárrtveggja one, but my apartment back in the city.
I live here now. I spend my days staring out over those waves dying over the banks. I’m enjoying some whiskey on my jetty as I’m typing this out, except that’s not true; I don’t enjoy anything anymore. There are only so many lights that can be snuffed out before the world loses its splendor. What I’m doing is a cultivation of sorts. I’m making myself grow. You can expose yourself to that which makes you fear and in so doing make yourself stronger. That’s what I’m doing right now, and the waters doesn’t look so frightening anymore. That’s good, I think.
Now, I’ve been doing some research - I’ve had nothing but time since I sold my old apartment, after all - and this isn’t the first time that people have disappeared around Hvárrtveggja lake. It’s hard to discern between a natural drowning and a predation, but the numbers don’t lie; the real drownings started somewhere around 1967 and have been unusually periodic since then. Where did it come from? I don’t know. I don’t even know what it is, but I think I have identified its container. It’s a relic from one of the families around the lake, a big old diving suit that the mother in the family had inherited from her late father. I suppose she eventually dumped it in the lake. I never asked why.
Funny how time changes your perspectives. Maybe that old drunk Norwegian wasn’t so crazy after all. Maybe he was just privy to something terrible beneath the waves. In his own way, maybe he was just keeping watch, for all of us - like I’m doing right now. I won’t sit idle like he was, however. Tomorrow I’m going hunting.
Tomorrow I’m going into the lake.
Color me crazy. I don’t care. There wasn’t any other end to this story. Somebody’s gotta do something. There has to be a reason that this thing has gone unnoticed for so long. I think it’s the lights. That poisonous yellow, it burns inside your mind. Makes you forget. I won’t forget. I have the proof on my arm, in my son’s shitty drawings; I remember that I remember and that’s enough for me. This rage I’m feeling wasn’t just created in a vacuum. This loathing - this utter fuckingdisgust - wasn’t something that sprung from my imagination. That thing needs to pay. I owe it to my son. I owe it to Alexander Johansson. Even Boris, that old fuck, and the others before them. I simply can’t fail. There’s too much at stake. These drownings, these predations, historically they only occurred once every six to seven years. But Alexander was eaten back in 2004. Old Boris was swallowed in 2007. And my son, Jacob, he… well, he disappeared last autumn, in the latter half of 2008.
It’s growing an appetite.
I want its blood on my hands. I will destroy that thing and I’ll drag its carcass onto the shores of Hvárrtveggja even if it’s the last thing I do, and I am perfectly capable of doing it. Back then, during the last autumn, it had swatted me aside not because I was a nuisance, but because I had caused it pain. I had swung the oar with all my might and broken through the skin of its container. It needs that container to survive, I’m sure of it. All that leather and metal only served to constrict its movement, made it slow and lumbering - why would it subject itself to that, if not by necessity? That diving suit is nothing but a lifejacket. I intend to rip it open, with my bare hands if I have to. I would drown us both in the lake before I let it touch another child.
This letter is a failsafe. I will leave it alongside my research inside the house. If I return tomorrow, then this text will have been nothing but an exercise in resolution.
If I don’t, well. I’ve made some arrangements. I’ve written into my will for this manifest to be distributed in any way, shape, or form. I hope it won’t come to that, but the people need to become aware.
The people need to become aware…
But I won’t dwell on such thoughts. Not tonight, no. Tonight I will sharpen my harpoons and reminiscence. I will have another drink and eat a proper meal, and then I will have good night’s sleep before the morrow. Then, after I wake during those lonesome morning hours, I’ll eat breakfast. Then I’ll have a cup of hot cocoa. And afterwards, well.
Afterwards I’ll go fishing.
Let’s hope I bring home quite the catch.
submitted by Robert_Wolfe to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 18:56 Mode2345 How To Recover From A Breakup (Timeless Lessons from The Stoics)

It happens to all of us. We’re happily coupled one day, madly in love, walking hand in hand in a lovely spot as the light dies from the sky and the city is set alight with streetlights and the gentle warm glow emanating from nearby windows. Then there is a spat, a mistake is made, we arrive late one time too many, or circumstances beyond our control result in a breakup. Whatever the reason, whoever made the decision, the fabric of this lovely tapestry we call our relationship is torn.
So now what? you may wonder. Now, we heal. But how? By turning to ancient wisdom. Here’s advice from the Ancient Stoics on how to heal from a break up:
Don’t Make Things Worse
“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!”— Marcus Aurelius
The first rule of holes, goes the adage, is that “if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” This might be the most violated piece of wisdom in the world. What most of us do when something goes wrong or is inflicted on us, is make it worse—first, by getting angry or feeling aggrieved, and next, by flailing around before we have much in the way of a plan.
Seneca’s line was “How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?” Try not to add angry or negative emotions to the equation. Don’t react for the sake of reacting. Stop digging. Don’t call and text them 500 times. Don’t download every dating app and rush to line up someone new. Don’t go on a social media rampage. Remember, we always have a choice: Do we focus on the ways we have been wronged, or do we look for lessons, do we find aspects of the relationship to be appreciative of? Will we wait for someone to save us, or will we listen to Marcus Aurelius‘s empowering call to “get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.”
Alive Time or Dead Time?
“We cry to God Almighty, how can we escape this agony? Fool, don’t you have hands? Or could it be God forgot to give you a pair? Sit and pray your nose doesn’t run! Or, rather just wipe your nose and stop seeking a scapegoat.” —Epictetus
The bestselling author Robert Greene says there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utiliz­ing every second. Every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control, presents this choice: Alive time. Dead time.
During a breakup, every part of us wants to complain about how terrible the situation is. How this shouldn’t be happening to me. How it’s unfair. How we wish we would have done this or that differently. But it’s this attitude and thinking that creates dead time we can never get back. It’s easy to be angry, to be aggrieved, to be depressed or heartbroken, to hide under the covers and watch Rom-Coms for weeks.
But all the talk of: I don’t want this. I want ______. I want it my way—this accomplishes nothing! Instead, choose alive time! Shift the talk to: This is an opportunity for me. I can learn and grow from this. I will not let this be dead time for me.
No Shame In Needing Help
Don’t be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you are injured and can’t climb up without another soldier’s help? —Marcus Aurelius
No one ever said you were born with all the tools you’d need to solve every problem you’d face in life. In fact, as a newborn, you were practically helpless. Someone helped you then, and you came to understand that you could ask for that help. It was how you knew you were loved.
Well, you are still loved. There are other soldiers—people who have dealt with the same pain—ready to help you climb out of this. You can ask for help. You don’t have to face this on your own. If you need help, comrade, just ask.
Stay Focused On The Present
Don’t let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Don’t fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why it’s so unbearable and can’t be survived. — Marcus Aurelius
When you look back at some of the most impressive, even scary, things that you’ve overcome and endured, how were they possible? How were you able to see past the danger or the poor odds? As Marcus described, you didn’t fill your mind with negativity, you didn’t let the whole sweep of the situation crush you.
A character in Chuck Palahniuk‘s novel Lullaby says, “The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close up.” Sometimes zooming out and grasping the big picture is important, the Stoics say. Other times though, it’s counterproductive and overwhelming to be thinking of everything that lies ahead. So by focusing exclusively on the present, we’re able to avoid or remove those intimidating or negative thoughts from our frame of view.
A man walking a tightrope tries not to think about how high up he is or how far the other side is. Like us, he’s better off putting one foot in front of the other.
Accepting What Is
“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.” — Epictetus
“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.” — Epictetus
Stoicism, first and foremost, teaches us that we can’t control or rely on anything outside what Epictetus called our “reasoned choice”—our ability to use our reason to choose how we respond and reorient ourselves to external events. Something happened that we wish had not. Which of these is easiest to change: our opinion or the event that is past? The answer is obvious. Accept what happened and change your wish that it had not happened. Stoicism calls this the “art of acquiescence”—to accept rather than fight what happens.
And the most practiced Stoics take it a step further. Instead of simply accepting what happens, they urge us to actually enjoy what has happened—whatever it is. Nietzsche, many centuries later, coined the perfect expression to capture this idea: amor fati (a love of fate). It’s not just accepting, it’s loving everything that happens.
Which brings us to…
Always Love
“Hecato says, ‘I can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spell—if you would be loved, love.’” — Seneca
In adversity, it’s so easy to hate. Hate defers blame. It makes someone else responsible. It’s a distraction too; we don’t do much else when we’re busy getting revenge or investigating the wrongs that have supposedly been done to us. Does this get us any closer to where we want to be? No. It just keeps us where we are — or worse, arrests our development entirely.
You know what is a better response to something you don’t like? Love. That’s right, love. For the parent that let you down. For the bureaucrat who lost your paperwork. For the group that rejects you. For the critic who attacks you. The former partner who stole your business idea. The bitch or the bastard who cheated on you. Love.
Love. Love. Love. Love. Why? Because, as the Beatles put it, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” Think of Martin Luther King Jr., over and over again, preaching that hate was a burden and love was freedom. Love was transformational, hate was debilitating. “Hate,” he said “is a cancer that gnaws away at the very vital center of your life and your existence. It is like eroding acid that eats away the best and the objective center of your life.”
There is almost no situation in which hatred helps. Yet almost every situation is made better by love—or empathy, understanding, appreciation—even situations in which you are in opposition to someone.
And who knows, you might just get some of that love back.
The Obstacle Is The Way
“While it’s true that someone can impede our actions, they can’t impede our intentions and our attitudes, which have the power of being conditional and adaptable. For the mind adapts and converts any obstacle to its action into a means of achieving it. That which is an impediment to action is turned to advance action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius
The mind is infinitely elastic and adaptable. Through a breakup, you have the power to use the Stoic exercise of turning obstacles upside down, which takes one negative circumstance and uses it as an opportunity to practice an unintended virtue or form of excellence. For example:
If something prevents you from getting to your destination on time, then this is a chance to practice patience.
If an employee makes an expensive mistake, this is a chance to teach a valuable lesson.
If a computer glitch erases your work, it’s a chance to start over with a clean slate.
If someone hurts you, it’s a chance to practice forgiveness.
If something is hard, it is a chance to get stronger.
Try this line of thinking and see whether there is a situation in which one could not find some virtue to practice or derive some benefit. There isn’t one. Not even in the ending of a relationship you didn’t want to end. Every impediment can advance action in some form or another.
Stoic Exercises:
Philosophy is not just about talking or lecturing or reading long, dense books. It is something men and women of action use—and have used throughout history—to solve their problems and achieve their greatest triumphs. So we’ll leave you with a couple of action items to help you overcome this trying time:
Journaling:
Epictetus the slave. Marcus Aurelius the emperor. Seneca the power broker and playwright. These three radically different men had at least one habit in common: Journaling.
Epictetus told his students that philosophy was something they should “write down day by day,” that this writing was how they “should exercise themselves.” Seneca explained to a friend that when darkness had fallen and his wife had gone asleep, “I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” Then he would go to bed, finding that “the sleep which follows this self-examination” was particularly sweet. And Marcus, he was the most prodigious of journalers, and we are lucky enough that his writings survive to us, appropriately titled, Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν, Ta eis heauton, or “to himself.” As he put it, “Every day and night keep thoughts like these at hand—write them, read them aloud, talk to yourself and others about them.”
Tim Ferriss, one of the most vocal modern proponents of Stoicism, has explained the value of journaling:
“I don’t journal to “be productive.” I don’t do it to find great ideas, or to put down prose I can later publish. The pages aren’t intended for anyone but me. Morning pages are, as author Julia Cameron puts it, “spiritual windshield wipers.” It’s the most cost-effective therapy I’ve ever found. To quote her further…: ‘Once we get those muddy, maddening, confusing thoughts [nebulous worries, jitters, and preoccupations] on the page, we face our day with clearer eyes.’” Whether preparing for the day ahead, reflecting on the day that has passed, clearing our eyes from muddy and maddening thoughts, reminding oneself of the wisdom we have learned from our teachers, from our reading, from our own experiences—journaling is Stoicism. You really can’t have one without the other.
Along with joining great company, journaling has been proven to deliver some powerful benefits:
[*] A study from Cambridge University concluded that writing about traumatic, stressful or emotional events results in improvements in both physical and psychological health.
[*] Researchers at the University of Arizona published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine: Journal of Biobehavioral Medicine their findings that keeping a journal after a ­divorce not only helped people make sense of the experience emotionally and move forward, but also resulted in lower heart rate and higher heart rate variability – associated with ­better health
[*] Dr James Pennebaker, author of Opening Up by Writing It Down, found that as well as lowering depression and anxiety, journaling strengthens the body’s T-lymphocytes—the cells responsible for the immune response to antigens (foreign substances) in the body
So get out a pen and a journal and push yourself to write about the difficult stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, the burdens you’re carrying around. You’ll be surprised by how much wisdom you’ll cultivate, just from within yourself, as well as the load you’ll take off your shoulders.
Contemplate A Sympatheia (connectedness with the cosmos) Perspective:
When the astronauts of Apollo 8 became the first humans to orbit the moon, it was a profoundly shocking experience for astronaut and terrestrial viewer alike for reasons wholly unexpected by both. Astronomer Fred Hoyle predicted that shock twenty years earlier when he wrote, “Once a photograph of the Earth, taken from the outside, is available…a new idea as powerful as any in history will be let loose.”
Frank White, one of those millions of viewers on Christmas Eve 1968, coined it The Overview Effect. But this fascination and mesmerization with Earth’s place in the cosmos goes all the way back to the dawn of humanity. That fascination eventually found its way into the journals of Marcus Aurelius, who reminded himself repeatedly about the limitations of the individual perspective and challenged himself to experience the world from a cosmic perspective—the view from above, as he often described it.
It is humbling to look at the world from the cosmic point of view. “Think,” Marcus wrote, “of time in its entirety, of which a brief and momentary span has been assigned to you; and of the works of destiny, and how very small is your part in them.” It’s Similar to the message Carl Sagan’s famous talk about The Pale Blue Dot. Powerful people and all of our most cherished accomplishments seem trivial when we take the view from above. This can be a great source of relief, especially during hard times.
Seneca believed it to be the way to make all your problems, even the really vexing and painful ones, seem less severe. All you have to do, he says, is: “Draw further back and laugh.”
Ryan Holiday
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2020.09.14 11:09 Davidgogo A detailed explainer “Why Quran and not Hadith?” Part II

... Continued from part I
Allow me to add my FB friend Hussam Abdelrahman's arguments negating this false claim:
"IF THE QURAN HAD BEEN TRANSMITTED AND COMPILED IN THE SAME MANNER AS THE AHADITH
  1. There would be an alleged ‘sanad’ (support) or an 'isnad' (supporting) with every Quranic verse.
  2. The Quranic verses would have been arguably collected by fallible compilers representing a completely different sectarian, socio-political milieu, centuries after the death of the prophet.
  3. The compilers would have allegedly traveled many miles to other individuals who had never met the prophet but claimed they possessed isolated Quranic verses based on hearsay, allegedly passed on to them through numerous generations through primarily oral tradition.
  4. The majority, if not all the Quranic verses would be based on what one companion had heard and not corroborated by any other.
  5. Different students of the later compilers would have captured different variants of the Quranic verses and argued over its veracity.
  6. The Quranic verses would have been canonized much later into a recognized corpus arguably after the death of the initial fallible compilers.
  7. There would arguably been a classification of Quranic verses such as 'Sahih' (sound) verses, 'Hasan' (good) verses, 'Da'if' (weak) verses and 'Maudu' (fabricated / forged) verses.
  8. There would have arguably been disagreements of the links of isnad of the Quranic verses and terms such as 'Musnad' (supported), 'Muttasil' (continuous), 'Munqati' (broken), 'Mu'allaq' (hanging), 'Mu'dal' (perplexing) and 'mursal' (hurried) would have been applied to them.
  9. There would have been vociferous exchanges and disagreements regarding the reliability and trustworthiness of the reporters of the Quranic verses.
  10. There would arguably be ‘sectarian’ Quranic Books with different compilations and verses.
  11. There would have been raging debates of the authenticity of the Quranic verses and the corpus throughout Muslim history.
Thank God the Quran was NEITHER transmitted NOR compiled in the same manner as Ahadith"
The myth of the Consensus of the scholars
When everything else fails, out comes the so-called consensus of the "scholars". Reality check again, the scholars have not even agreed upon what constitutes consensus let alone formed one about anything for that matter.
A quick reminder to how the five schools view consensus.
  1. Hanafi: Through public agreement of Islamic jurists
  2. Shafi: Through agreement of the entire community and public at large,
  3. Maliki: Through agreement amongst the residents of Medina only
  4. Hanbali: Through agreement and practice of Muhammad's Companions only (there is still no consensus on what constitutes a sahaba)
  5. Usuli: Only the consensus of the ulama while the messenger of God was alive or Shia Imams
Don't you think they should first sort this core issue before claiming consensus? No less than the death for blasphemy, is based not on the Quran and not even on the Hadith but on this mythical consensus. In essence, they have illegally awarded themselves the right to kill another human being. Imagine that!
The Abrogation falsehood
The last trick up their sleeve is a late addition, abrogation. A notion so thoroughly refuted that it is not worth wasting time on. Let us just say that straightforward verses of the Quran are stripped of context and twisted to mean that some verse and in extreme cases some Hadith actually abrogates some other verse of the Quran. In typical fashion, the estimates of abrogated verse range from seven to several hundred. This one fact is enough to put this mischievous notion to one side.
The nonsense of abrogation was exposed by upright scholars throughout history and one of the earliest oppositions can be traced back to Abu Muslim Al-Asfahani, followed by Ibn Rushd and the Ibn Khaldun and many more. Among the modern scholars Mohammad Asad, Ahmed Subhy Mansour, Dr. Mohammad Omar Farooq and Shabbir Ahmed are often cited.
Shahada (شَهِدَ ) of the Hypocrites
Before moving to the positive, allow me to touch on something that will surely disturb a lot of you but it is necessary because it is a perfect illustration of how far we have deviated from the message of God.
The question is: How did the non-Quranic but popular Shahada find its way into Islam?
Below are the verses where the word (شَهِدَ) is used in the context of testifying. In twelve out of thirteen it had nothing to do with the Shahada of the sectarians, and in the thirteenth, this is what God has to say about it:
When the hypocrites come to you, [O Muhammad], they say, "We testify that you are the Messenger of Allah." And Allah knows that you are His Messenger, and Allah testifies that the hypocrites are liars. Quran 63:01
Here are the verses where it is used in context:
(4:15:11) shahidū they testify فَإِنْ شَهِدُوا فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ فِي الْبُيُوتِ حَتَّىٰ يَتَوَفَّاهُنَّ الْمَوْتُ
(6:19:20) latashhadūna testify أَئِنَّكُمْ لَتَشْهَدُونَ أَنَّ مَعَ اللَّهِ آلِهَةً أُخْرَىٰ قُلْ لَا أَشْهَدُ
(6:19:28) ashhadu (do) I testify أَئِنَّكُمْ لَتَشْهَدُونَ أَنَّ مَعَ اللَّهِ آلِهَةً أُخْرَىٰ قُلْ لَا أَشْهَدُ
(6:150:5) yashhadūna testify قُلْ هَلُمَّ شُهَدَاءَكُمُ الَّذِينَ يَشْهَدُونَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ حَرَّمَ هَٰذَا
(6:150:11) shahidū they testify فَإِنْ شَهِدُوا فَلَا تَشْهَدْ مَعَهُمْ
(6:150:13) tashhad testify فَإِنْ شَهِدُوا فَلَا تَشْهَدْ مَعَهُمْ
(7:37:32) washahidū and they (will) testify قَالُوا ضَلُّوا عَنَّا وَشَهِدُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ أَنَّهُمْ كَانُوا كَافِرِينَ
(7:172:10) wa-ashhadahum and made them testify وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ قَالُوا بَلَىٰ
(12:81:10) shahid'nā we testify فَقُولُوا يَا أَبَانَا إِنَّ ابْنَكَ سَرَقَ وَمَا شَهِدْنَا إِلَّا بِمَا عَلِمْنَا
(41:20:5) shahida (will) testify حَتَّىٰ إِذَا مَا جَاءُوهَا شَهِدَ عَلَيْهِمْ سَمْعُهُمْ وَأَبْصَارُهُمْ وَجُلُودُهُمْ
(41:21:4) shahidttum you testify وَقَالُوا لِجُلُودِهِمْ لِمَ شَهِدْتُمْ عَلَيْنَا
(41:22:5) yashhada testify وَمَا كُنْتُمْ تَسْتَتِرُونَ أَنْ يَشْهَدَ عَلَيْكُمْ سَمْعُكُمْ وَلَا أَبْصَارُكُمْ
(63:1:5) nashhadu We testify إِذَا جَاءَكَ الْمُنَافِقُونَ قَالُوا نَشْهَدُ إِنَّكَ لَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ
Quran 7:158 is sometimes used by the sectarians to justify the Shahada of the hypocrites. The only problem is that the word (شَهِدَ ) is missing from the entire verse. In fact, the word "say" (قُلْ) is used by God in order to make the issue even more clear to us. Furthermore, the actual Shahada is also present in the same verse and is once again distinctly repeated without the phrase "and Mohammad is his messenger" to remove all doubts.
Note: The total number of times the word from the root "shīn hā dāl" is used in different contexts is 160, mostly in terms of a witness(s)
Besides, there are numerous Ahadith where the true Shahada is detailed.
How to interpret the Quran?
Let us move towards the positive. Just a quick mention of how to interpret the Quran.
When we interpret Islam wrong it is not Islam anymore, it is as simple as that. Similarly, when we succeed in interpreting some verses correctly and others incorrectly then it is just that, partly right and partly wrong. There are no blends, it is all black or white as one would expect from a Divine guide.
God is not in the business of maybes.
It is reasonable to assume that before wanting to discuss Islam, unless we can agree on the methodology of interpreting Islam, we won't be able to agree on anything. So let us keep the questions on hold for a bit and talk methodologies, because whoever is able to convince the other side on the best methodology can just apply it and get all the answers .just like that.
In my humble opinion, this is how I see it and millions have come to more or less the same conclusions.
Trust your God-given faculties of observation, logic and rational thought as reminded by scores of verses of the Quran. Yes, the thing to note and emphasize is that the methodology of how to interpret the Quranic verses is embedded in the Quran itself.
In contrast, a reference to those who may know more than an average person is mentioned only a few times and that too not in the popular "ask those who know" manner. Those who keep harping on "Ask a Shaikh" need to be told that the number of times "use your brain" is emphasized runs into hundreds but “ask others “not once. There is no "ask those who know" in the Arabic version of the Quran. Please use your brain and observe, research, and draw valid logical conclusions. Remember God is the teacher of the Quran. (Quran 55:02) The actual guidelines of the Quran are not about "asking", but some in the community should be entrusted with researching and making their findings public and open to debate.
For the record and with all due respect to those who have a different opinion, the thing about the Quran is, as one would expect from a Divine message, that it is fully Self-Referenced and the Checksums are also all embedded in the body of the message. The core message needed for salvation is easily understood by even a twelve-year-old. The Quran, of course, is much much more and is there for all of humanity, and for all times to come. The message is designed once again to be relevant to people with varying degrees of access to knowledge bases and brain power and who happen to be living at different times and in different space.
When one decides to leverage the full potential of the book, the Quran once again comes to the rescue to address the issues associated with serious research and truly demonstrates its timelessness so to speak. For starters, the use of particular words is demonstrated by their use in a priori manner within the Quran and hence protected from the natural evolution of the language. One must research this aspect first. Similarly, the methodology of non-contradiction (there are none in the Quran) not only protects the content and its interpretation but does it in a manner where by and large the domain knowledge constraints are taken out of the equation. In simple terms, if your interpretation of a verse contradicts another verse then there are only three possibilities.
  1. Your interpretation of the first verse is wrong
  2. Or your interpretation of the second verse is wrong
  3. Or your interpretation of both the verses is wrong, hence, seek another interpretation
God is not in the business of maybes as I said. Let's put it this way, every verse in the Quran has a potential veto over a wrongly interpreted verse. We cannot thank God enough for this particular aspect of understanding the message of God. God in His infinite mercy has gifted us a touchstone and if people still insist on "different interpretations" then there is extraordinarily little one can add to the argument.
Quran's framework is based on a self-correcting mechanism that needs no outside input. The answer to the question,” Is it even possible to interpret the verses of the Quran in such a manner that it eliminates verses contradicting each other?” is not only an emphatic yes, but yes on several levels. The non-contradiction claim of the Quran serves two purposes; the first , to point out that for mere humans to put together over 77,000 words, covering a full spectrum of domains, is not easy without some elements contradicting others, and the second, is to facilitate our understanding as mentioned above.
Mustansir Mir, Professor of Islamic Studies at Youngstown State University, eloquently argues for a multi-layered approach. He writes,
“From a linguistic standpoint, it is quite possible for a word, phrase or statement to have more than one layer of meaning, such that one layer would make sense to one audience in one age and another layer of meaning would, without negating the first, be meaningful to another audience in a subsequent age.”
So yes, one is free to use different meanings associated with certain words but must do so only in a manner that it does not contradict a chosen meaning in another verse.
Add to it a simple rule of restricting the meaning of words to the Arabic language even when they appear to be resembling words of a different language and be alive to the obvious allegorical references and you are done.
To seek the best of meanings is an additional and general guideline in order to understand the truth within the verses and hence take out hiding the truth from the equation.
Who in their right mind would refuse to follow the instructions of how to understand the intended message of a guide, found in the guide itself, that is if the intention is to understand the message?
Indeed, there is no doubt.
A word of caution. Some in the Quran focused approach have taken a reactionary stance to the traditional Islam and even legitimate practices of the traditionalists are challenged for the sake of challenging them. One stark example is the issue of Salah. The notion that standing, bowing, and prostration don’t mean what they say they do, because their use in some verses points to a different context, is strange. If we were to reverse this logic and make those different contexts the baseline, then standing should not mean standing anywhere in the Quran. Similarly, if we were to change the definition of a Mosque to mean something other than a physical structure, we would have to do the same with monasteries and churches and synagogues. Quran 22:40. Here once again the non-contradiction aspect of the Quran guides us in the right direction.
The impossibility of different interpretations
Why is it that there is only one correct way to interpret the Quran?
First of all, let me qualify that. It is possible to extract more than one meaning from a given verse (s) of the Quran, as long as each subsequent interpretation (s) does not negate the previous one.
Regardless of the number of extracted interpretations, each interpretation will have to pass the test of non-contradiction independently.
Let us layout the two elements of non-contradiction. It is hoped that the issue of the language of understanding can also be easily settled through it.
Assuming one has already verified the Quran to be the very word of God, the logic is pretty straightforward.
  1. The first rule is that there are no contradictions in the Quran
  2. The second rule is that if the Quran was produced by someone other than God one would find contradictions in that version of the Quran.
When we apply these two rules simultaneously to any interpretation of the Quran, either in its original Arabic or a translated version, we can make the following conclusion.
If one were to interpret the Quran in a way that was not intended by God then we are likely to introduce contradictions in the Quran because man is not capable of producing a different version of the Quran without any contradictions. Hence there can only be one correct way to interpret the Quran irrespective of the language of understanding.
One is free to claim that their interpreted version is the correct one, but it is not possible to claim that there is more than one correct version of the Quran. Of course, when they make such a claim, they also take on the burden to defend it to be free of contradictions.
The choice dilemma
By the way, which of the following must one follow and why?
Just to help the readers out, of course you always have the option to throw a dart in the direction of the following collections and see where it lands and take that as the one "true" Sunnah and be prepared to be declared a "Kafir" by the followers of all the rest. Mind you, all of them are claimed to have been vetted through the same magical "Science" of Hadith. Needless to say, each and every one of them ignores the all-important, essential, condition of the public delivery of the official message and hopes nobody will notice that 99.9% of them are single third-party narrations, the opposite of public.
  1. Kutub Al-Sittah - (The six books of Sunnis )
Sahih Al-Bukhari ( صحيح البخاري ) Sahih Muslim ( صحيح مسلم ) Al-Sunan Al-Sughra ( السنن الصغرى ) Sunan Abi Dawood ( سنن أبي داود ) Sunan Al-Tirmidhi ( جامع الترمذي ) Sunan Ibn Maja ( سُنن ابن ماجه )
  1. Al-Kutub Al-Arb'ah - (The four books of Shias)
Kitab Al-Kafi ( الكتاب الكافي ) Man La Yahduruhu Al-Faqih ( من لا يحضره الفقيه ) Tahdhib Al-Ahkam ( تهذیب الاحکام ) Al-Istibsar ( الاستبصار )
  1. The Ibadi one Jami Sahih Tartib Al-Musnad
  2. The Mu'tazila collection Comments on the Peak of Eloquence
Now comes the fun part, with the possible exception of the Ibadi collection, each and every collection has an interesting thread running through it. All the collectors were Persians and almost all of them appeared out of nowhere right after the defeat of the Persians. You just need two functioning brain cells to figure out the rest.
Now throw in the following to highlight the difficulty of choosing the correct version; Muwatta Imam Malik Musnad Ahmad Ibn Hanbal Sunan Al-Darimi Shama'il Muhammadiyah is often referred to as Shamaail Tirmidhi Sahih Ibn Khuzaymah Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān Al-Mustadrak Alaa Al-Ṣaḥīḥaīn Al-Mawdū'āt Al-Kubrā Rīaḍ As-Ṣāliḥīn Mishkat Al-Masabih Talkhis Al-Mustadrak Majma Al-Zawa'id Bulugh Al-Maram Kanz al-Ummal Zujajat al-Masabih Minhaj us Sawi Muntakhab Ahadith The Book of Sulaym Ibn Qays Al-Sahifa Al-Sajjadiyya Uyun al Akhbar ar Reda Sharh Usul al-Kafi Nahj Al-Balagha Wasā'il Al-Shīʿa Bihar Al-Anwar Haqq al-Yaqeen Ain Al-Hayat (17th century) Qalam-e-Mowla Daim al-Islam ETC
I wish it was as simple as choosing a version or two and you were done. Not so fast, as the saying goes, even after settling for a particular version you are still totally dependent on the "scholars" associated with that particular version. In essence, they have the final say in what you ought to believe and often their explanations are not only at odds with the word of God but the wordings in a given Hadith as well.
No matter where the dart lands, in essence, it will still be no more than a game of "my scholars are better than yours".
I for one refuse to assign my eternity to this crapshoot.
Narrated Anas:
The fact which stops me from narrating a great number of Hadiths to you is that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Whoever tells a lie against me intentionally, then (surely) let him occupy his seat in Hell-fire."
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مَعْمَرٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَارِثِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ، قَالَ أَنَسٌ إِنَّهُ لَيَمْنَعُنِي أَنْ أُحَدِّثَكُمْ حَدِيثًا كَثِيرًا أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " مَنْ تَعَمَّدَ عَلَىَّ كَذِبًا فَلْيَتَبَوَّأْ مَقْعَدَهُ مِنَ النَّارِ ".
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 108 In-book reference: Book 3, Hadith 5
Some important verses
Perhaps these verses may help
80:11 Nay! Indeed, it (is) a reminder,
80:12 So whosoever wills may remember it.
80:13 In sheets honored,
80:14 Exalted, purified,
80:15 In (the) hands (of) scribes.
80:16 Noble, dutiful.
Surah Al-Qamar :
  1. We made the Quran easy to learn. Is there anyone who would learn?
  2. We made the Quran easy to remember. Is there anyone who would remember?
  3. We made the Quran easy to understand. Is there anyone who would understand?
  4. We made the Quran easy to memorize. Is there anyone who would memorize?
If you really are interested in the truth, please read the following verses very carefully;
Indeed, those who came with falsehood are a group among you. Do not think it bad for you; rather it is good for you. For every person among them is what [punishment] he has earned from the sin, and he who took upon himself the greater portion thereof - for him is a great punishment. (11) Why, when you heard it, did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another and say, "This is an obvious falsehood"? (12) Why did they not produce for it, four witnesses? And when they do not produce the witnesses, then it is they, in the sight of Allah, who are the liars. (13) And if it had not been for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy in this world and the Hereafter, you would have been touched for that [lie] in which you were involved by a great punishment (14) When you received it with your tongues and said with your mouths that of which you had no knowledge and thought it was insignificant while it was, in the sight of Allah, tremendous. (15) And why, when you heard it, did you not say, "It is not for us to speak of this. Exalted are You, [O Allah]; this is a great slander"? (16) Allah warns you against returning to the likes of this [conduct], ever, if you should be believers. (17) And Allah makes clear to you the verses, and Allah is Knowing and Wise. (18) Quran 24:11-18
The true level of our deviation from the straight path can be illustrated by naming the stuff we follow without taking the time to verify it. Just to help some of you out, besides the lies about Aisha’s chronologically impossible age, the false justification of slavery and killing of non-Muslims and the un-Islamic notion of ruling the world under the disguise of Khalafat, Shahid Khan, a Facebook user, has compiled the following list;
Things NOT Contained In The Quran: List of Interpolations
  1. Saying that the Quran is not self-sufficient and that there is a need for additional speculations.
  2. Taking the hadiths as a source for Islam.
  3. Sectarian scholars pronouncing fatwas or ijtihads (canonical jurisprudence).
  4. Practices conforming to sectarian dictates.
  5. Equating sects with the religion.
  6. Reciting the Quran for the sake of its music without understanding the text.
  7. Using the Quran as a book of prayer recited for the souls of the departed.
  8. Contributing authority to the Prophet outside the scope of the Quran.
  9. The fact that God created everything for the sake of Muhammad.
  10. Competition between prophets. Supremacy of some prophets over other prophets.
  11. Imitation of the ways and manners of the Prophet even before his prophethood.
  12. The belief that the Quran has missing points which can be found in other books.
  13. To announce certain select devotees to be Muslim saints and visit their tombs with all sorts of reverential rituals.
  14. To idolize the sheikhs of religious orders.
  15. Establishing a type of communication with the sheikhs by a special ritual called rabýta. 16. To claim that only the Sunnites or the Shiites are to go to paradise.
  16. To declare the Jews and Christians as the future dwellers of hell.
  17. To adopt Arabic customs and traditions as religious practices.
  18. To come forth alleging to be reformist with a view to changing the Quranic religion.
  19. To formulate religious precepts ascribing them to the Prophet.
  20. To claim that the vote of the majority always prevails.
  21. To interpret the continuity of sects as evidence of their genuineness.
  22. The Hanafi sect. (Yes, they are sects under the disguise of Madhab)
  23. The Shafi sect.
  24. The Hanbali sect.
  25. The Maliki sect.
  26. The Jafari sect.
  27. All Sunni and Shia sects.
  28. Any sect like Maturidiya, Ashariya.
  29. A canon book called Majalla.
  30. To deny reason and favor apishness.
  31. Hostility against science.
  32. Hostility against the arts.
  33. To abide by the rules that the book entitled Sahih Bukhari lays down.
  34. To abide by the rules of the hadith book entitled Muslim
  35. To abide by the rules of the hadith books Kutub-i Sitte or other such books.
  36. To venerate individuals to whom religiosity is ascribed other than the Prophet.
  37. The allegation that all of those who had the privilege to set eyes on the Prophet (sahaba) were on the right path.
  38. The wearing of the headscarf.
  39. The wearing of the veil.
  40. Segregation of men and women.
  41. The fact that a woman is not allowed to travel alone.
  42. The wrong and absurd belief that a woman can never repay the debts she owes to her husband even if she were to lick him from head to foot when he is in a deplorable state covered with pus.
  43. “If prostration was permitted to any entity other that God, the wife should prostrate herself before her husband” claimed the hadith.
  44. That a woman cannot become a head of state or an administrator.
  45. That women have no right to vote for the governing body of the government.
  46. That women’s voices must not be audible to men.
  47. That women are not allowed to perform the Friday salat.
  48. That women are not allowed to perform salat, fast, recite the Quran or enter a mosque during their period.
  49. Covering women with all sorts of outer garments.
  50. That it is forbidden for women to shake hands with men.
  51. That a man is not allowed to sit in a chair previously occupied by a woman whose warmth is still preserved.
  52. That a woman cannot stay in an enclosed space where there are men.
  53. That women are considered along with dogs and pigs to invalidate the salat of a praying man.
  54. That the majority of women are doomed to go to hell.
  55. That women are evil by nature.
  56. That women lack intelligence.
  57. That women must be kept indoors.
  58. That it is forbidden for women to wear perfume.
  59. That women are not allowed to use makeup.
  60. That a wife must obey her husband as a slave does.
  61. That a woman is required to have sexual relations whenever her husband calls her.
  62. That two female witnesses equal one male witness.
  63. That a woman must have her parents’ permission in order to get married.
  64. Stoning to death of the adulterer.
  65. That the papyrus on which the verse regarding adultery was on was eaten by a goat.
  66. Arguments about killing adulterers being practiced even among monkeys.
  67. Prohibition of a man’s wearing golden ornaments.
  68. Prohibition of men wearing silk.
  69. Prohibition of use of golden and silver utensils and plates.
  70. Prohibition of sculpture.
  71. Prohibition of drawing and painting.
  72. Prohibition of chess.
  73. Prohibition of musical instruments and music.
  74. Prohibition of consumption of seafood like mussels, shrimps, etc.
  75. Prohibition of eating the flesh of donkeys, horses, or wild animals
  76. The fact that kidneys and ram’s testicles are abominable to eat.
  77. The fact that smoking is religiously unlawful.
  78. That there is a separate list containing things considered to be abominable (makruh). 80. That the sexual act must take place under covers.
  79. The prohibition for the couple to look at each other’s sexual organs.
  80. Prohibition of masturbation.
  81. Prohibition for women to use birth control.
  82. That an individual should keep his/her sexual organs covered even when taking a bath lest the angels be offended.
  83. Circumcision of men.
  84. Circumcision of women.
  85. The sunnah of letting beards grow.
  86. The prohibition of trimming a beard.
  87. The sunnah according to which the hair had to be parted from the middle of the scalp.
  88. The sunnah regarding the oiling of hair.
  89. The sunnah of applying henna to hair and beard.
  90. The sunnah of applying mascara to the eyes for men.
  91. That lying face down is a satanic act.
  92. To sleep on a mattress spread on the ground.
  93. To use one’s right foot going out of the house or getting up from the bed.
  94. To enter a soiled place like a WC with the left foot.
  95. Saying that canonical purification of the body can only be performed using water after defecating.
  96. The obligation for men to crouch when urinating.
  97. To relieve yourself in the direction of Mecca.
  98. The fact that eating with the left hand is a satanic act.
  99. To wound a turban.
  100. To use miswak to clean the teeth.
  101. To wear a robe with a long skirt reaching down to one’s feet.
  102. For men to wear a loose dress (antari). .
  103. To wear shalwar (a type of wide trousers) as sunnah.
  104. To interpret as a meritorious act the wearing of white, green, or black raiment.
  105. The prohibition to wear yellow or red.
  106. To consider eating dates or squash as meritorious acts.
  107. To eat seated on the ground.
  108. To eat from the same dish with others.
  109. To eat with three fingers.
  110. To drink water in three gulps.
  111. To drink water in a seated position.
  112. To lick one’s fingers after having eaten with them.
  113. Not to use perfumes containing alcohol.
  114. Not to use eau de cologne.
  115. To kill black dogs.
  116. Not to let dogs into the home.
  117. To cover the mirrors at night.
  118. To perform black magic with or without the use of the Quran.
  119. To write on and wear amulets.
  120. To use the Quran as a book of magic.
  121. To believe that whistling is a satanic act.
  122. To knock on wood or wear trinkets against the evil eye.
  123. To take fortunetellers and magicians for religious figures.
  124. Feasts celebrated at the end of the holy month of Ramadan and on the occasion of sacrifices.
  125. To avoid passing underneath a ladder and to consider black cats, black dogs as ominous signs and to melt lead against the evil eye.
  126. To believe that there are special days on which linen can be washed and sexual intercourse can be performed.
  127. To recite the Mevlit (poem written to celebrate the birth and the death of the Prophet) for the souls of the departed.
  128. To hold ceremonies for the soul of the dead on the 7th, 40th and 52nd days after death. 131. Stories concocted about the suffering that the dead is to be subjected to after burial. 132. Rumors about the bridge of Sýrat from this world to paradise, more slender than a hair and sharper than a sword and a person’s traversing it riding the animal he sacrificed in this world.
  129. The belief that a person who cannot avoid his urine from sprinkling on his clothes shall undergo excruciating torture in the grave.
  130. To fast in the place of a dead person.
  131. To go on Hajj in the place of a dead person.
  132. That tears shed after a death will cause his soul to suffer beyond endurance.
  133. To predict the hour of the Day of Judgment.
  134. The Muslim Messiah, Mahdi.
  135. The Antichrist.
  136. To say that Dabbe has the ears of an elephant, eyes of a hog and head of an ox.
  137. The Second Coming of Christ.
  138. The belief that Agog and Magog are Turks.
  139. Racism, superiority of the Arab race.
  140. The belief that Agog and Magog are the homunculus.
  141. To set down prayer hours not indicated in the Quran.
  142. To prescribe a certain number of rakats as a binding duty.
  143. The requirement of performing the salat by reciting verses in the original Arabic language.
  144. Prohibition for women to conduct the congregational prayer.
  145. To have to repeat always the same thing during the kneeling and prostrating in the course of the performance of the salat.
  146. The obligation to recite the fatiha at every rakat.
  147. The obligation to sit and recite attahiyyat at the end of the salat.
  148. To make a long list of the particular requirements during the salat not mentioned in the Quran.
  149. To make a detailed description of the praying man with regard to his posture, such as how he will place his hands).
  150. That the compensation of a wilfully broken fast is two months without interruption.
  151. Special salats like the taravih (the superfluous night service during the month of Ramadan performed immediately after the prescribed night service of worship, consisting of twenty genuflections with an interval for rest and breathing after each two or four acts), and the congregational prayers at the end of the month of fasting and at the festival of sacrifice. 156. To put people in misery by restricting the period of Hajj to a short space of time.
  152. The stoning of Satan during the Hajj.
  153. To slaughter animals at the Festival of Sacrifice.
  154. To believe that certain restrictions start after the Hajj.
  155. Calling holy the water from the well zamzam, to pray over sugar or salt for luck.
  156. To give zakat (alms, charity) as 1/40 of one’s assets.
  157. To assign special rates for zakat for camels, sheep, and agricultural products.
  158. The belief that one invalidates his ablution by certain acts other than nature’s call.
  159. The belief that total ablution (ghusl) is required not only after sexual intercourse but also by other causes.
  160. To make the order of acts during the performance of ablution strictly binding.
  161. To say that rinsing one’s mouth and blowing one’s nose during the major ablution is a binding duty.
  162. The requirement of washing one’s heels along with the feet.
  163. Details such as the obligation of pouring water three times each to the right and left of a person performing the total ablution.
  164. The requirement of total ablution before reciting the Quran.
  165. Saying that one sins when he/she goes about not having performed total ablution.
  166. The nullification of ablutions for a person who has a tooth filled.
  167. The nullification of ablutions for men/women having a tattoo.
  168. Martyrdom for those having died in an earthquake or a flood.
  169. Martyrdom of those having suffered stomach pains.
  170. That the earth is supported by an ox or a fish.
  171. The belief that earthquakes occur when the fish shakes its tail.
  172. The fact that the moon is unattainable.
  173. To define the setting of the sun as the loss of the sun as a guide for prostrating.
  174. The belief that the eclipses of the sun and the moon occur when they are drawn by carriages equipped with handles.
  175. Existence of angels in the form of bulls, lions, and eagles.
  176. Accounts related to the 600 wings of Gabriel.
  177. God’s opening His calf in paradise.
  178. God’s touching the back of the Prophet.
  179. God’s coming down on earth on special days to shake the hands of His creatures.
  180. The bargaining between God and the Prophet for the reduction of the times of salat from 50 down to 5.
  181. The Institution of the caliphate.
  182. The sultanate and the making the subjects into slaves of the political power.
  183. Classes of clergy.
  184. To sanctify the Arabic language and ascribe sanctity to the Arabic letters.
  185. To terrorize people with the countries outside the dominion of Islam (Dar-ul Harb).
  186. To loot and disregard the rights of people living outside the dominion of Islam.
  187. To beat or kill persons who refuse to perform salat.
  188. To compel people to fast and beat those who fail to do so.
  189. To beat women who have put on makeup and go around uncovered.
  190. To kill the renegades (of Islam to other religions).
  191. To flog the renegades (even those who convert from one sect to another).
  192. To make conquests merely for the sake of looting.
  193. To beat drunkards.
  194. To use force and compel people to abide by religious rules.
  195. To call Islam by the names of sects, etc.
The myth of the Muslim majority
What "vast Majority"? The reality is a sea of fragmented competing sects constantly at each other's throats. The only thing that unites them is defending their illegal relevance and attacking those who point out the illegality of their position. They are in it for the money. They are masters at duping the unsuspecting to part with their hard-earned wages. When pushed, the majority of their own members reject their sect's nonsense. People are not fools in general, they can tell when they have been taken for a ride. It is one thing to go along with the "majority" under duress and another to take all this nonsense to heart.
Here is what God has to say about the majority:
2:100 the majority do not believe (in The One God)
2:243. Majority are ungrateful.
3:110 the majority are wicked.
4:114 the majority whispers lies.
5:32 the majority are transgressors
5:49 majority are wicked
5:59 majority are wicked
5:62 the majority hasten to sin and transgression and consuming money illicitly. Miserable indeed is what they were doing.
5:64 the majority are rebels and rejecturers
Here are some other verses with similar warnings
5:66 5:71 5:81 5:103 6:37 6:111 6:116 6:119 7:17 7:102 7:131 7:187 8:34 9:8 10:36 10:55 10:60 10:92 11:17 12:21 12:38 12:40 12:68 12:103 12:106 13:1 16:38 16:75 16:83 16: 101 17:89 21:24 21:93 23:70 25:44 25:50
(thanks to Wan Ibnul Bahar)
submitted by Davidgogo to Quran_focused_Islam [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 08:52 TheAtomicEsquire LEVIATHAN Rising: A Spacedy Pleblore Project [Part I: Intro and ZE GERMANS]

Introduction to LEVIATHAN Rising: A Spacedy Pleblore Project
So, what is all this then? It is the out-of-control Kudzu Worldbuilding of a bona fide space cadet who simply loves trying to answer narrative questions about "how?" and "why?". Though that doesn't answer much. Probably best to start at the beginning.
LEVIATHAN Rising began as a submod idea for adding Space Race content for the other American presidents who are not John Glenn. It wasn't long before I could see that that was never going to happen, because I had no idea how to make my ideas mechanically meaningful nor any no good reason why, if I was just writing a story, why it had to be in HoI4 rather than a medium which didn't require me to learn to do some coding. It's since grown a bit in scope since then, with the goal of trying to reasonably detailed and (hopefully) workable space programs that are each unique and interesting in their own way.
The initial target of the project is to produce four installments -- like the one below -- addressing the origins up to 1962 of the space programs of the four nations that either are supposed to be part of the Space Race or who have events that establish them as having a mature launching capability: Germany, Japan, the United States, and Italy. (I will probably break my own rule and take Italy past 1962, as it's the odd duck whose becoming a space-launching power is the one that occurs in-game.) That should provide, at the very least, a resource for anyone who might be pondering these questions themselves and maybe even provide some inspiration to someone.
Whether I finish is another question entirely. And given that we haven't even gotten to the titular LEVIATHAN Plan yet, well...
Part I: Those Stupid Jetpack Nazis and a (Not So) Brief History of Der Mondflug
The Origins of the Ten-Year Plan and Reichsparteitag Mission Architecture
Unlike its American and Japanese counterparts, the origins of the German space program can be traced directly to the actions of just two men: Werner von Braun and Hermann Goering. The former, the father of the German ballistic missile program, had always seen his work at Peenemunde as merely a first-step on the long road towards mankind’s expansion into the great expanse beyond our world. Braun would never be shy about evangelizing on the subject of space or using the immense pool of aeronautical talent assembled over the years at Peenemunde to tackle the problems associated with sending men to the stars. This penchant for, as the Heer’s and Luftwaffe’s mandarins called it, “misappropriating official resources” earned him no kudos with the military bureaucracies, who in turn were apt to write-off his calls for a lunar expedition as a fool’s errand as much because of the proposer as the proposal itself.
Sometimes, however, only one friend is necessary, if sufficiently high-ranking. And there were few men higher-ranking in the Reich than Hermann Goering. Spaceflight, by its very nature, spoke to Goering’s technophilic sensibilities and love of great machines doing even greater works. The exploration of space would also give the Luftwaffe a new frontier of its own to conquer, a project on the scale of Atlantropa or the colonization of the Slavic East, at a time when the German air force was distinctly lacking an animating mission beyond strafing untermenschen for fun and profit. So it was that, in May 1952, Goering requested that Braun conduct a design study on the feasibility of placing a man on the Moon by the end of 1963. Goering further requested that, if such was possible, Braun develop a plan for doing so which could be presented at the 23rd Reichsparteitag (Party Congress) the September of the coming year. The Reichsmarschall also promised Braun all necessary support in obtaining a “favorable report”.
With Goering’s backing, Braun finally had the freedom and resources to tackle the task he had wanted to for his entire professional life. And tackle it he and his team at Peenemunde did. In just under nine months, they produced An Introductory Primer on and Ten-Year Proposal for a Lunar Mission, an eight-volume, 3,000-page report that was equal-measures high-concept study and mission reference document. Braun confidently predicted that the Reich could land a man on the Moon by 1963 and outlined his steps for a lunar expedition:
1) Developing a three-stage Earth Ferry Shuttle (“EFS”) to provide access to orbit, with each stage being piloted and returning to the launch site after deployment of the payload, allowing each stage to be refurbished and reused;
2) Building a Large Space Station (“LASS”) in near-Earth orbit, to gain experience in building things in orbit in space, provide an environment to learn how humans adapt to zero-g, and provide a jumping-off point for the eventual lunar expedition;
3) Assembling a fleet of three Moonships at the LASS from payloads boosted into orbit by several squadrons of EFSes. The combined payload of the Moonship fleet would be 50 people and 250 tonnes of payload.
4) Mounting the expedition when the Moonships are built and their crews delivered from Earth. The expedition will spend 6-8 weeks on the surface of the Moon, before returning to the LASS via the Moonships.
Bold and ambitious, The Ten-Year Proposal represented more than a decade of accumulated watercooler discussions, off-topic thought exercises, and piecemeal research, plus half-a-year of frantic design work by a half-dozen newly created working groups. Its attempt to be a comprehensive treatment of the subject were admirable, though its eclectic breadth and wildly varying levels of detail attested to where the specialties of the team at Peenemunde were, with the most work going into the sections related to rocketry. (More esoteric topics addressed included the mechanical difficulties of using the bathroom in non-standard gravities, the potential inclusion of ships’ pets for morale purposes on a long and dangerous journey, and theoretical considerations for human reproduction beyond Earth’s magnetosphere.)
The Ten-Year Proposal was everything that Goering had asked for, and more much more besides. A draft was prepared for circulation to the Fuhrer – removing, for example, such potentially seditious discussions of human sexual relations on the Moon – for his approval, which came immediately. Hitler’s interest was so stimulated that it was decided that the theme of the 23rd Rechisparteitag would be “The New Order on All Worlds”, celebrating the twin great works of National Socialism: The forging of the new continent Atlantropa and Germany’s impending conquest of the heavens themselves. By the 33rd Reichsparteitag, it was to be announced, there would be a swastika on the Moon!
And so, with the Fuhrer’s blessing came the resources of a continent, as the Reich’s bottomless reserves of capital, both fiscal and intellectual, were furnished to make the dream of a man on the Moon a reality. Neither Braun nor Goering had given much thought to the seemingly mundane task of naming the program that would take on a life of its own over the next decade. That came in September 1953, when the Fuhrer, in his dedication of the Reich Institute on Spaceflight at Peenemunde (RIS), stated: “The Ten-Year Program, carried out with wondrous machines of the sort shown to the Reichsparteitag, is a sacred duty and obligation entrusted to you. And there is no higher calling than performing such duties and fulfilling such obligations.”
And in the language of the Reich, the Fuhrer’s message was equally clear: The Ten-Year Program and Reichsparteitag Architecture would succeed. Failure was not an option. At least if the Ten-Year Program’s leadership wanted enough of themselves left for their families to bury.
“Die Glückliche Zeit”: Excelsior and Pride Goeth
Veterans of Peenemunde – both before and after the formation of the RIS -- would recall the period from the middle of 1953 until the start of 1957 as the “Happy Time”, when life was good from the seemingly infinite budgets and near-daily breakthroughs as Peenemunde became the site of the greatest scientific endeavor of the age. Werner von Braun had been named RIS Director at its founding and, at the helm of a major national project blessed by the Fuhrer himself, bestrode the political scene like a colossus. It was a time of Olympian propositions, in which nothing could not be done if the RIS just put its mind to doing it. Of course – as Dr. Heinz Schlicke never tired of reminding his new colleagues – the “Happy Time” that was being paid homage to ended rather badly for the Kriegsmarine, and emulating would not be desirable.
Contrarians like Schlicke aside, Braun happily counted himself as one of the contented at RIS. Everything was by no means perfect, as the start of the Happy Time was bookended by the young program’s first major security breach. Three months before the Institute’s founding, it was discovered – rather embarrassingly – that somehow the CIA had gotten ahold of a copy of The Ten-Year Proposal, when detailed (and nominally highly classified) technical diagrams appeared in a Collier’s article entitled “Man Will Conquer Space Soon!”. The resulting organizational debriefing by the SD was not pleasant, but for the whole of the Happy Time that followed, the Ten-Year Program’s contact with the Reich’s security services was incidental and nonintrusive, which was about as much as could be hoped for given the amount of public money and classified information were involved.
Work on the design of the EFS, LASS, and Moonships occurred in parallel from the inauguration of the RIS into 1955. The center of the project remained the EFS, to be powered by the Ragnarok family of rocket engines, from – as one junior engineer put it – “the feeling that the world is ending when they’re fired.” The first-stage would be powered by between five and seven of these R-1s, with each generating 750,000kgf of thrust. The second-stage would use a variant tuned for specific impulse rather than thrust, while the third would use smaller-still variants for final ascent and in-orbit maneuvers. Payload was expected to be 40 tonnes to LEO.
As it evolved, the EFS simplified in conception: The boosting stages became unmanned and, while work remained ongoing to make them fully reusable, the brutal time-table mandated by the Ten-Year Plan brought about a working assumption that least the first production models would be expendable. The third-stage, meanwhile, evolved into a spaceplane -- the Planetary Descent Orbiter (“PLADO”) -- due to the easier technical hurdles to clear as opposed to its originally envisioned tail-sitter configuration. These changes were, on the whole, to be expected as this sort of highly experimental project evolved. By March 1955, the EFS was complete enough to begin building assembly prototypes, as the testing on the various engines to be used was already underway.
While the Ten-Year Program’s principal booster was sorting itself out, it became increasingly necessary to sort-out the greatest physical impairment to the Reichsparteitag Architecture’s success. Quite simply, the existing facilities at Peenemunde were grossly insufficient for the task envisioned and basic geography prohibited it from ever being an appropriate launch-site. Situated at more than 54°N Latitude, its orbital inclination was useless and consumed precious delta-v performing maneuvers to reach equatorial orbits. Further, its launch corridor took rockets flying over the Reich and Ostland as they ascended, unless further in-flight maneuvers were carried out to track the Baltic, which further ate into payload capacity. If the Ten-Year Plan was to stay on schedule, a new launch site would need built.
Braun outlined the needs to Goering for a launch site that was compliant with the vehicles of the Reichsparteitag Architecture. What was ideally needed was a place near the Equator with coastal access to an expansive body of water to its east. Goering believed that either of Reichskommisariats Ostafrika or Madagaskar would likely have a suitable location. As the Foreign Ministry was briefed on the need to handle the diplomatic niceties, a rather unexpected turn of events occurred: They had a counterproposal! Both the Foreign Ministry and Ministry of Industry had long sought to foster greater scientific and economic cooperation within the Einheitspakt. And, in light of Mediterranean – specifically Italian – discontent owing to the Atlantropa Projects, that the Ten-Year Program’s needs provided an opportunity to kill three birds with one stone. As the Equator runs through Italian East Africa and the Somalian coast has a number of sparsely populated ports eminently suitable appropriation. Extending such a prestigious honor would also do much to placate the Italians and provide a nexus for scientific cooperation between all of the nations of the Einheitspakt. Goering’s violent reaction to this “Speerite subterfuge” did little to scupper the Foreign Ministry’s proposal, which was elevated to the Fuhrer for consideration. And, much to the Reichsmarschall’s chagrin, it was approved over his objections.
Much of the next eighteen months would be spent building the Goering International Space Center in Hermannstadt – as the port of Kismayo was renamed in a concession to assuage Goering’s wounded pride – in equatorial Somaliland. The joint Italo-German enterprise would consume, by most estimates, a billion Reichsmarks to build the most expansive spaceport in the world in one of the most underdeveloped corners of the world and on a taxing schedule, as everything in the Ten-Year Program was. The Goering Space Center was officially inaugurated on December 17, 1956, with the shakedown launch of the first all-up A17 “Loki” rocket. Composed of two stages, the A17 was powered by a single R-1 engine in its first-stage and a single R-2 in its second, representing the first flying accomplishment of the Ten-Year Plan.
1957: The Year of the Black Sun
The beginning of 1957 buzzed with the news that the Space Race was finally heating up: After half-a-decade or more of talking about going into space, technology had matured enough to actually allow attempts to be made. Both Japan and the United States were allegedly to be sprinting to be the first to orbit an artificial satellite, which was believed to be capable of happening as soon as the summer. For the RIS, such notions were quaint, as the Reich had no such plans. After all, why should the world’s premiere space program be concerned with the lobbing of a few dozen kilograms of electronics into orbit when it was planning on to send a man into orbit and bring him back in a capsule massing thousands of kilograms? And to launch such by the last week of February, no less?
There was, indeed, a confidence that permeated Peenemunde that the uncharitable might have considered hubris. Certainly no one noticed sudden spike in missed deliveries from contractors as winter 1956 gave way the new year. Nor was any heed given to the alleged murmurings of friends and loved-ones in RK Moskowien about ominous rumblings from the Russian Wastes. But when a summons came from Germania, summoning the RIS Director to brief Goering on the status of the Ten-Year Program’s finances, it was clear that something was deeply, deeply troubling was going on.
For, as of January 25, 1957, no one at RIS knew the exact state of the finances of the Reichsparteitag Mission Architecture or the Ten-Year Program. They were projects blessed by Fuhrer: With such things, requests – or demands – were made for whatever was needed to accomplish them, and that was invariably produced if the security services or Heer was not to be involved. What monies were involved were always handled later on RIS’s behalf by the Luftwaffe or other governmental functionaries who were, in general, loathe to discuss such with Institute personnel.
With no small amount of trepidation, Braun and a team from RIS made their way to Germania. And were shellshocked when they were informed that the Fuhrer had, in light of the Reich’s many earthbound concerns, determined that the Ten-Year Program was not a worthwhile investment of the Reich’s resources. Which was why it had been decreed that the RIS would suspend all operations related to the Reichsparteitag Architecture effective immediately and prepare a detailed report on the most cost-effective way to accomplish the Ten-Year Program’s core goal of placing a man on the Moon by the end of 1963. Braun protested vociferously that, if there were concerns about the value of the work being done, a mere six weeks would be enough time to demonstrate its worth to the Fuhrer. Goering, however, brooked no objection, just as the Fuhrer had when Goering had lobbied him for precisely what Braun wanted. And if anyone did have problem with that, he’d ensure they were issued a rifle and sent to Moscowien to die in the snow fighting Soviet remnants.
And thus a thick malaise descended upon the RIS, as efforts that should have been focused on beginning manned flights were forcibly rerouted into inventorying what might salvageable from the Ten-Year Program, if it was salvageable at all. Gone were the LASS and Moonships, as they required far too much mass – and cost too much besides – to keep. So too was PLADO, for without the LASS to fabricate, what purpose was served with a big and heavy spaceplane cutting into orbital throw-weight? The Ten-Year Program, if it was to put on a man on the Moon, would have to embrace cramming men into tiny spacecraft “like spam in a can”, as the baleful lament went. The Loki at least guaranteed a working base for boosting payloads and the A20 “Thor” – the full-stack of the EFS – had been expected to be ready for preliminary full-up trials by the first-quarter of 1958 with a third-stage that provided a simple ballistic return capsule while the PLADO had finished prototyping. A low-energy, low-payload (“LELOP”) manned mission with a time on the surface measured in hours was probably technically feasible within the timeframes available.
The LELOP concept evolved into what was deemed a workable design for a three-man mission, assembling a moonship in orbit, consisting of two components, each lofted into a parking orbit as the third-stage of a Thor: The Lunar Transit Rocket (“LUTR”) and a Lunar Expeditionary Ascender-Descender (“LEAD”). The crew would ascend into space aboard the LUTR and, upon reaching orbit, dock with the waiting LEAD that had previously been launched. The moonship would then boost to the Moon, where two of the crewmen would transfer to the LEAD and detach, making a powered soft-landing on the Moon. At the completion of the lunar activities, the two men on the surface of the Moon would board the Ascender capsule of the LEAD, detach it from the Descender landing system, and boost back into orbit, where it would dock with the orbiting LUTR. The reunified moonship would then boost for Earth, where the crew of the spacecraft would board the Ascender capsule and detach from the LUTR, engage in a kick-down maneuver into the atmosphere for aerobraking, and splash-down with the Ascender capsule somewhere in the Atlantic.
Determining that not all hope was lost should have been a cause for cautious optimism; the more irrationally exuberant might have even hoped that the thoroughness with which RIS had embraced its mandate might earn it goodwill with the Fuhrer sufficient to not have to make all of the cuts contemplated. As the RIS’s progress was being inventoried, however, it became increasingly clear the scale of the crisis in which the Reich was embroiled, as the Berlin Stock Market collapsed on Black Monday leading to a financial meltdown that destroyed the Reichsmark and soon contaminated the whole economy. While, within the fortnight, word arrived that the latest resurgent Soviet remnant – the West Russian Revolutionary Front – had declared war against RK Moscowien and launched a general winter offensive from the Arctic to the Caspian. With the domestic situation in freefall as winter turned to spring, it was clear that there would be no salvation of the Reichsparteitag Mission Architecture. The only question was whether the Fuhrer would see fit to allow for the Valkyrie Program – as the LELOP mission design was styled – would be given permission to resume.
The Report on the State of the Ten-Year Lunar Program was transmitted to Germania in April. It would sit until October, when Germania found itself in the dire predicament of not only being in a Space Race, but having fallen behind, with the Japanese Asagataningen-1 becoming the world’s first artificial satellite. The crisis precipitated by the Asagataningen-1, however, was in short-order swept away by the Reich’s announcement shortly thereafter of its intent to impound all further payments to and from the Einheitspakt’s Atlantropa Adaptation & Mitigation Fund, sparking a diplomatic rupture with the Iberians and Italians, which culminated in the dramatic withdrawal of the Iberian Union and Italian Empire from the Einheitspakt. And, disastrously for the German space program, the seizure and nationalization of the Goering Space Center.
As 1957 drew to a close, the German space program had been brought to its knees as the Reich was gripped by a wave of crises not seen in decades. But the lunar program had endured the year’s body blows. That was more than can be said for many ambitious projects – including the Atlantropa Projects themselves – and would, hopefully, prove to be enough.
By Hook or Crook: Valkyrie Ascendant
As 1958 commenced, the Valkyrie Program was in a shambles. Much of the Reichsparteitag Architecture it had meant to build on was in disarray, as contractors had moved onto new projects over the past year and key personnel, such as the original astronaut class that had been selected, were reassigned back to line service with the Luftwaffe. To say nothing of the total loss of the physical infrastructure that had been built specifically for the Ten-Year Program, as the Italians steadfastly claimed the Goering Space Center and its half-dozen Loki rockets in various states of assembly and the prototype full-up Thor as “compensation” for the Reich’s refusal to honor its obligations from the Atlantropa Adaptation & Mitigation Fund.
The news was not all bad, however. Desperate fighting had, over the winter, appeared to check the West Russian Revolutionary Front before the gates of Moscow. And the Russians’ withdrawal had turned into a rout as the WRRF disintegrated as the web of alliances between its various warlords came undone in the retreat. That would mean, in theory, there could once more be a pool of suitable astronaut candidates. But that meant little without a place to launch from: Either a suitable replacement complex would have to be built or there would have to be significant modification of the facilities at Peenemunde, to say nothing of the changes needed to vehicle design to accommodate the atrocious inclination angle.
Ironically, it would be the Foreign Ministry that would put forward a possible solution to the problem that, for many at RIS, was their fault to begin with. With the “West Russian War” over – or at the very least with the Soviets effectively scattered and incapable of offensive action– the Reich needed to reassure the world that it remained a superpower. A significant international construction program was just what was needed! And, given the disposition of the political leadership of RK Ostafrika, a show of goodwill and the Fuhrer’s primacy was necessary after Himmler’s abortive coup to ensure the RK remained in the fold. The Foreign Ministry could ensure that the resources were found to build at least a minimally satisfactory launch site if it were to be situated in RK Ostafrika. And, from the last time the subject was raised, Pemba Island in Zanzibar was considered a suitable site! Whatever skepticism Braun might’ve had was assuaged by the reassurance that Reichskommisar Huttig can be very…convincing when it comes to motivating the local workforce to meet deadlines. And the grim fact that the challenges of shipping rockets around the Cape of Good Hope to Zanzibar is still significantly less complicated than trying to make a lunar mission launched from Peenemunde work.
With the promise of a new launch site and renewed funding, the Valkyrie Program finally could begin putting its house in order. Had Braun and the rest of the RIS leadership known much of America’s national pastime, they would have concurred that 1958 promised to be a “rebuilding year”, even if their overly optimistic plans held. It had been hoped that a crash modification of one of the launch pads at Peenemunde, as well as upgrading the mission control suite, could be completed by July and allow the formal commencement of the manned Space Operations and Skills Project (“SOSP”) that had been delayed since the suspension of the Ten-Year Program. SOSP had been intended to be the first steps of learning how to operate in orbit and start acquiring the skills necessary to build the LASS; it would still be needed even with Valkyrie’s much less grandiose plan, which still called for several orbital dockings in both Earth and lunar orbits.
As it was, the economic waves caused by collapse of the Reichsmark and the removal of some of Europe’s most productive industrial zones by the creation of the Ordenstaat Burgund meant that it would be well into 1959 before the necessary modifications were made to Peenemunde to handle the launch of the Loki rocket which was intended to be used for SOSP missions. The delays imposed by the modifications to Peenemunde were, in their own way, a blessing: They allowed the drag-chute to be pulled and RIS, as an institution, to fully acclimate itself to the Valkyrie Program and conduct some badly needed operational planning relating to it, when previously most of the work done amounted to taking the relevant bits of the Ten-Year Program and/or Reichspartei Architecture and then attempting to repurpose them on the fly. The full mission reference document for the Valkyrie Program was finally written-up and a full launch time-table for SOSP was developed, with 16 SOSP flights between 1959 and 1963, as well as six flights – manned and unmanned -- shaking down an otherwise full-up Thor mission-stack, with a tentative lunar mission date to coincide with the 33rd Reichsparteitag, much to the delight of both the Fuhrer and Goering.
Unfortunately for the Valkyrie Program, it would not be allowed to keep its footing for long. For despite having finally developed a feasible operational plan for reaching its objectives and actively moving into terrestrial field testing of all major subsystems to achieve those objectives, it was due to once more be beset by the Reich’s tumultuous politics. On April 12, 1959, the Reich once more found itself upstaged in the Space Race, when the United States’ Pioneer 1 succeeded in making John Glenn the first man to orbit the Earth. This was the second time that the Reich had been humiliated in a field that, by all rights, should belong to the Aryan race. There was no active war or acute economic crisis to blame this embarrassment on this time. It could, in the Fuhrer’s learned judgment, only be the fault of the management of the Valkyrie Program. A way must be found to restore the Reich’s honor. And, to ensure that sufficient motivation was had by both the Luftwaffe and RIS, the SS would be conducting a top-to-bottom audit of the program to identify potential areas for improvement.
The SS’s audit, despite its ominousness, was surprisingly gentle on the Valkyrie Program, finding that no meaningful changes could be made in the mission architecture to facilitate a faster Moon-landing. (Just where the SS found a pool of spaceflight experts not associated with RIS was, unfortunately, not one of the topics remarked upon.) What the audit did recommend was a radical restructuring of the finalized mission calendar, finding – based upon comparable American and Japanese protocols – that a mere six SOSP launches should be necessary, as well as a manned full-up test of the Thor followed by the launching of the lunar mission. If done, and the New Equatorial Launch Site on Pemba Island became available by July 1961, the program could have an Aryan on the Moon by the end of that same year. The Valkyrie team objected strenuously to what it perceived as wanton corner-cutting with the lives of German astronauts, to which the SS auditors merely recommended that, if the Luftwaffe could not find astronaut-candidates willing to trust the engineering prowess of the Aryan race with their lives, the SS certainly could. Even more distressingly, the Fuhrer adopted the recommendation, ordering the recommended adjustments to the mission calendar under threat of transfer of the whole Valkyrie Program to the SS.
The rest of 1959 and the whole of 1960 would prove to be reminiscent of an earlier, happier time at the RIS, before the dreams of the Ten-Year Plan were shattered by the Year of the Black Sun. Work proceeded steadily as the first four SOSP missions were flown, final ground-testing was completed on the rebuilt Thor prototypes and the Valkyrie moonship was deemed ready for man-rating. As the finish line was increasingly within view, however, the question of what came next haunted the corridors of power at RIS. Because of the long lead-time on certain key items, especially things like large rocket engines, potentially years of foreknowledge and planning would be necessary to keep RIS’s production pipeline flowing. As early as the dark days of 1957, the question of what would come after the first lunar landing was being investigated by an Ad Hoc Committee on Future Manned Missions, with the general conclusion of RIS that while the adaptation of the original Reichsparteitag Architecture to the systems created by the Valkyrie Program and continued pursuit of the Ten-Year Plan was the best course of action, at the very least a continued program of lunar exploration was required if only to justify the immense sums invested in both the Ten-Year and Valkyrie Programs, as well as better define future requirements and needs for manned spaceflight beyond Earth and its immediate environs. Both the Goering, however, flatly rejecting financing for further Valkyrie Program mission-planning for at least a period of at least 18 months after the first lunar landing, though the flying of smaller Loki-based missions were not prohibited.
That another funding cliff loomed was disappointing, but by no means was it even one of the five-worst faced by RIS since the inauguration of the Ten-Year Plan. Thankfully, while the Luftwaffe had curtailed the flight-testing program for Thor, there had been no cancellation of the four Thors on order for the cancelled test-flights. The production lines for the Reich’s heavy-lifter could, with a little creative structuring, be kept open during the moratorium on Valkyrie mission-planning. Given that the Valkyrie Program had already had to restart the Thor production line once already, avoiding having to deal with the arduousness of that again would save the program headaches in the future, should the political climate change and allow for more ambitious spacefaring.
1961 brought further delays to SOSP-5 and SOSP-6, though in a pleasant change of pace, for positive reasons. For a given definition of “positive”, at any rate. RK Ostafrika announced to the Foreign Ministry that it had completed the New Equatorial Launch Site a full three months ahead of schedule and would be ready to christen it in mid-April. The whole world, unfortunately, knew that the New Equatorial Launch Site was ahead of schedule, as the rather loud murmurings about the hellacious treatment of the native workforce building the Site were noteworthy for the intensity of the alleged brutality, even by the rather disturbing standards of Reichskommisar Huttig’s fiefdom. Nonetheless, juggling the schedule to allow SOSP-5 and -6 to launch from the Frederick Barbarossa National Launch Complex – as the Fuhrer insisted on naming it – would allow for greater acclimation to the facilities prior to the all-up manned Thor flight. Such juggling would prove invaluable, as the breaking in of Barbarossa National would throw back the flight of Valkyrie 5 from an initial mid-July launch to a mid-October one.
What is most amazing about the Barbarossa National break-in missions – SOSP-5, SOSP-6, and Valkyrie 5 – was not that they were as successful as they were, but rather that they were successful at all, given under the crushing schedule and active mandating of cutting corners from on-high. With a recipe for a massive explosion on the launchpad, the break-in missions not only didn’t get anyone killed, but functioned well enough to be called successes. It would be, for many at RIS, their finest professional moment and a testament to the thoroughness of German engineering. Less charitable – and almost invariably American or Japanese – engineers would also note the rather healthy amount of luck involved, given the risks taken. And that observation would not be incorrect, either.
Valkyrie 5 would set a record for the longest continuous presence in orbit, at just under 45 man-days for the three-man crew, as a whole lunar transit was simulated while orbiting Earth. At the conclusion of the mission, Braun advocated for allowing the more or less fully-loaded Valkyrie 5 to remain in orbit, in the hope that it might serve as the basis for a low-cost second Moon mission at some point in early 1962. As on the subject of mission-planning, he was overruled, though this time on the basis of national security, as it was unknown whether another mission would be mounted and a more or less fully intact Valkyrie would be a tempting espionage for the other superpowers. When the Ascender capsule detached and kicked into the atmosphere, a kick-down burn was remotely engaged, plunging the whole of Valkyrie 5 into an orbit that would see its burning wreckage scattered across several dozen square kilometers of the Indian Ocean.
The rest of 1961 would be spent going over the technical data gathered from the full-up dress rehearsal flight and ironing out what glitches remained. The accumulation of delays led to the amended mission calendar’s original launch date of December 20, 1961 – which would have placed a man on the Moon during the Winter Solstice – to slip. But all systems appeared to be go for Valkyrie 6 to lift-off on January 1, 1962, to ring in the new year with a demonstration of the Reich’s long-fermenting capability to dominate space…
Author's Comments
TNO is a mod that loves its alternative history to rhyme. That is, for story beats (such as historical events) to happen in ways or at times which evoke OTL, but which are nonetheless creatures of the allohistorical work. I'll admit that I just couldn't help going whole-hog with the rhyming history here. I blame the fact that the rocket in the New Start screen is very obviously a Totally Not Saturn V, even though that makes precious little sense in context.
For those who are not as unheathily familiar with the history of space exploration as I am, let me explain. Most of what's discussed here is, in fact, 100% OTL with the roles inverted. Between 1952 and 1954, Werner von Braun wrote a series of articles for Collier's magazine -- the first, of course, being called "Man Will Conquer Space Soon!" -- that featured a lavish vision of an expedition to the Moon, and a process to get there consisting of building a rocket with a reusable spaceplane final stage, which would build a space station in orbit, that would assemble a fleet of moonships to take a massive expedition to the Moon. He found no real support for his ambitions, but did eventually get a job putting a man on the Moon, though the Apollo Program was a radically different beast with radically different philosophies than the Collier's project.
At any rate, here, Braun gets an infinitely deep pocket to build his Collier's project, and then, when forced to pare himself back to...Apollo, as Loki is the Totally Not Saturn I(b), Thor the Totally Not Saturn V, LUTR the Totally Not Apollo Command and Service Module, and LEAD the Totally Not Lunar Module. The guy just can't catch a break in either timeline.
If I Were A Rich Man Deep One Modder...
Consider this an idea that would make an interesting submod unto itself, but for which I certainly don't have the skill or chops to create. Who knows, maybe someone will get some mileage out of it.
Reichskommisariat Raketeland
Following the onset of the German Civil War, many RIS members -- including its director -- fled the Reich for Pemba Island in RK Ostafrika in the hopes of finding a safe port in a raging storm. While the Afrika-Schild was embroiled in its war with South Africa, Pemba Island was far removed from the fronts and OFN aircraft gave wide berth to the Barbarossa National Launch Complex, lest a provocation be caused that might draw the ire of the Reich. With the war drawing ever-more of RK Ostafrika's resources southward, Pemba Island is increasingly left to govern itself, and with a well-established leadership hierarchy from RIS and a battalion of regular Luftwaffe Fallschirm-Panzergrenadiers, it might just be able to do so/
submitted by TheAtomicEsquire to TNOmod [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 05:09 Mitch_NZ If you're curious about getting into the Neon Genesis Evangelion franchise, I wrote an absolute wall-of-text overview of everything you could possibly want to know before jumping in, with zero spoilers.

If you are the sort of person that likes to just hit the play button on a new show, the below isn't for you. If you're like me and like to be overprepared before jumping into a big franchise, read on...

What’s the deal with Neon Genesis Evangelion? I keep hearing about it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is the name of an anime and also a manga series that both started in the mid 1990s. Since then, it’s grown into a major franchise with numerous spinoffs, and a merchandise empire to rival Star Wars. Beloved in its homeland of Japan and by fans all over the planet, Neon Genesis Evangelion’s early releases still hold up to the very best today, and as of 2020 the franchise is still active with new entries on the horizon.
If you’re curious about this series and want to see what all the fuss is about, you could just dive head-first into it, but if you’re like me, you suffer from severe franchise anxiety, worrying about getting into it “wrong”. Well, that’s where I come in. I’m going to tell you all the things that my overthinking ass wished I knew back when I first jumped into it a long time ago. You can read this whole guide and not be spoiled about any story details.
Throughout this guide, I’ll use the word “Evangelion” as an abbreviation for the franchise as a whole. As well as “Evangelion”, fans may use the full title “Neon Genesis Evangelion” to refer to the franchise, or the acronym “NGE”, or simply “Eva”.

I feel like this franchise is really complicated. Where do I even start? How does it all fit together?

I remember hearing a friend tell me that he was curious about getting into the series but felt overwhelmed by the many entries and didn’t know where to start. It was sad to hear that, because in actual fact, the franchise structure is very simple. This isn’t Gundam.
The most important part of Evangelion is what I’ll call the “core Evangelion story”, and it’s the primary continuity. This begins with the 26-episode anime series, plus the theatrical film The End of Evangelion. That’s it! That’s the core story. All you need to do is watch the series, then the movie. Everything else is a spinoff or bonus content in one form or another. There’s no “true” sequel to the core story*.
*sort-of

Okay, so I start with the TV series?

Yep! The original show (which I’ll just call NGE from here on in) ran for a single season of 26 episodes between 1995 and 1996 in Japan, and each episode aired in a half-hour timeslot, so episode lengths are generally 21-23 minutes each. It won’t take you long to get through it (although I recommend NOT binging it all at once for reasons I’ll go into later) unlike many other long-running franchises.
There are some key things to know before you start, though.

Director’s cut episodes

First of all, most versions of NGE released after the airing of the show include an alternative “director’s cut” for episodes 21 to 24. My DVD version allows you to select between the original cut and the director’s cut. If offered a choice, always choose the director’s cut of these episodes. The director’s cuts include several minutes per episode of additional footage. These extra scenes are critical to understanding the story. If you are watching on Netflix, don’t worry, episodes 21 through 24 are the director’s cut versions.

Episode Titles

These can get confusing. If you want to talk about specific episodes with other fans, you may want to try and remember the episode numbers. The titles work too, but there are two of them for each episode, and there are numerous translations of each.
For example, episode three is titled 鳴らない、電話 in Japanese, which roughly translates to “The Phone That Doesn’t Ring”, but it also has an English title, which is “A Transfer”. To make matters worse, the English titles were chosen by Gainax, the animation studio, who are Japanese and aren’t native English speakers, so some of them are a bit awkward-sounding.

Language

We need to talk about dubs and subs. NGE was made by a Japanese studio for Japanese audiences and used a Japanese cast speaking Japanese. As the show soared in popularity, broadcasters around the world took notice and moved quickly to secure rights to dub the show in foreign languages. Since this guide is in English, I’ll only be talking about English adaptations, however the show is available dubbed and subbed in many other languages, and I understand that some of the dubs are considered excellent.

The original Japanese

The original Japanese voice actors deliver a phenomenal, iconic performance. My personal preference is to watch the show in Japanese with English subtitles, and the main reason is because I love the Japanese voice cast and I think they do the best job of conveying the emotions of the characters. Plus, Megumi Ogata’s screams… Blood-curdling. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
The show is set in a version of Japan, and cultural references to Japan are frequent. In my opinion, these references feel more natural in the original Japanese language, as compared to the dubs which have to find ways to make them make sense in American-accented English.
Most versions of NGE use the same translation for the subtitles, and I think it’s a great translation that captures the intention of the original Japanese whilst making sensible choices to ensure that it reads naturally in English. The Netflix subs are a new translation, and are much stricter in sticking to the Japanese wording, but many longtime fans are unhappy with the way certain scenes appear to have their meaning or context quite significantly altered by this new translation. I haven’t closely compared the two translations, but some of the things I’ve read about the Netflix translation certainly sound concerning to me as a longtime fan. Still – if Netflix is your only means of watching the series, I don’t think it’s a deal-breaker!
The downside of watching a subtitled anime is the same as always: Your immersion in the visuals is hampered by the need to keep an eye on the bottom of the screen to read subtitles, and NGE’s dialogue can get a bit hectic at times. You’ll need to be an attentive reader to keep up with the play at some points. I find that I can still appreciate the visuals of the show while reading the subtitles, but for many, it’s far more preferable to hear the dialogue in their native language, and for that, you’ll need to decide between the two English dubs that have been officially released.

The original English dub

The original English dub was produced by ADV Films not long after the show started airing in Japan, and the studio were operating on a tight budget, short timeframe and a limited pool of voice acting talent. Also it was 1996, and anime dubbing in 1996 was a very different artform to today. The result is that the original dub of NGE sounds a bit like a children’s cartoon from 1996… Which is exactly what it was in many ways. Despite this, the original dub has many passionate fans, and as the series progresses, the performances increase in quality. Most of the main voice cast returned for later series entries as well, and they’ve only got better over time.

The Netflix dub

Netflix surprised everyone when in 2019 they brought the entire series to their platform… With a brand-new translation and dub. This new dub has generated a lot of controversy, and the main reason is that none of the original voice cast reprised their role, and many were never even invited to audition. It also has a reworked script, just as the subtitles have, and many of the changes upset longtime fans. On the other hand, it’s a much more polished and professional dub than the original, and the translation is closer to the original Japanese in many ways.
My advice to first-timers is to not sweat the decision too much, but if you’re comfortable with reading subtitles, I still think watching it in Japanese is the best way to experience it, but go with whatever suits you best!

The Music

Shiro Sagisu composed the music for NGE, and it’s fantastic. You’re in for a treat. The series’ opening theme is famous, and also a bit of a meme. All I’ll say is if you only heard the opening theme and had to guess what the show was like, you’d be very, very wrong.
The Netflix dub made a pretty major change to the music in that they could not get the rights to the original ending theme, the classic Bart Howard song “Fly Me to the Moon”. Instead, they use one of the series’ prominent cues for the ending theme. The replacement music actually works quite well, but as a longtime fan, it’s difficult to imagine each episode not ending with “Fly Me to the Moon”. If you’re a newbie, it probably won’t make much difference at all, but if you want the “classic” experience, you’ll need to find a version other than the Netflix one.

The Format

NGE is in 4:3 ratio. If your version is somehow in widescreen, press stop immediately because something has gone very wrong. Learn to love the elegance of the 4:3 format.
The whole series is now available in HD, and it looks great, however the animation isn’t so richly detailed that you lose out by watching it in SD. If you only have a DVD copy, don’t sweat it trying to find an HD copy!
There are a fair few releases of the series out there, some of which are highly collectible. I’m not an expert on the differences between them, but as far as I know, there aren’t any “must-avoid” prints you need to worry about.

So, uh, what’s Evangelion even about?

Ask this to most fans and they’ll probably chuckle before a bit before they say anything. That’s because there’s quite a few ways to describe it, and they all sound either shallow and boring, or pretentious and overblown.
The core Evangelion story is about monsters who attack a city in Japan, and the only way to fight them off is by using giant robots, who all happen to be piloted by teenagers. Pretty standard premise, really.

It sounds like a straightforward mecha show.

Glad you said that, because NGE is indeed an entry in the mecha (giant robot) genre of anime.
You’ll hear the phrase “deconstruction” mentioned a lot in reference to this show, but don’t be put off by that. All it means is that prior to 1995, mecha anime and manga were very popular, and they tended to follow a pretty rigid set of tropes. One of NGE’s calling cards is that it intentionally dodges many of the clichés of mecha shows by trying to show how teenagers piloting giant robots against a mysterious enemy would really go down in real life.
The deconstruction aspect of NGE, although prominent, is also not particularly important to a new viewer in 2020, particularly if you aren’t familiar with earlier mecha series. If you are though, I think you’ll appreciate how NGE deals with what seems like a standard premise.
NGE was animated by Gainax, a famous anime studio, and the director was Hideaki Anno. If you’ve seen the 2016 film Shin Godzilla which Anno directed, you’ll notice many similarities between that and this series. If you’ve seen the 1984 Hayao Miyazaki film Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, you might see things in NGE that remind you of the scene where the Giant Warrior attacks. Guess who animated that scene!

I heard this show was deep. How deep are we talking?

NGE is the butt of many a meme due to its reputation as a “deep” anime with a complex (or incomprehensible, depending on who you ask) story and themes. My advice is to forget all that. Your expectations going into this show need to be reset if you really want to enjoy it for what it is. All you need to know is that the story is a wild ride, and no matter how clued-up you think you are, it’s going to go places you don’t expect.
You don’t need to do preparatory readings of philosophy papers or religious texts, just go into it with an open mind, and perhaps a reflection on what your own life goals are, how you motivate yourself to achieve them, and also your experiences trying to create and maintain relationships with others. Casting your mind back to how you were in your early teens will help get into the mindset of the main characters too.

Great. I think I’m ready to get started.

That’s good. Just a couple more bits of advice from me:

So I finished the series. What’s this about a movie?

To be clear, there are no spoilers in this guide, so feel free to read this section even if you haven’t watched the series yet!
You’ll hear all sorts of things about The End of Evangelion, the film that was originally released in 1997. All you need to know right now is that it’s the conclusion of the core story. You could not watch it, and leave the story as it is concluded at the end of the series, but you really shouldn’t. This movie is too good to skip, even if it has some notable differences from the series in terms of its general feel and vibe.
You may see the film referred to as episodes 25’ and 26’ (note the apostrophes), or as a replacement ending for the TV series (which also has episodes 25 and 26). Don’t overthink it too much – the film and the end of the series overlap in some ways, which is why the film is structured as two “episodes” that share a number with the final two in the series.
All I’ll say about The End of Evangelion is that you may think after finishing the series that you have been desensitized to the types of things the franchise throws at you. You are wrong. This movie is an even wilder ride than the show, and you are really going to want to take some time to go for a long, meditative walk both before and after it.

I have questions. Lots of questions.

That’s normal. You could watch some of the many “Evangelion explained” videos on YouTube, but I haven’t yet found one that I was really satistfied with. In my opinion, the most rewarding way to get your questions answered is to interact with other Evangelion fans and get their perspective on what it’s all about and exactly what happened. Again, feel free to DM me for this purpose! The Evangelion subreddit is a great community and will be more than happy to share their thoughts with you.
Like many stories, the “correct” interpretation of it is the one that means the most to you. I have my own specific interpretation that works for me, and that may diverge from many other fans’, but that’s okay! Hideako Anno himself would be delighted at all the different meanings that various fans have taken away with them and held onto tightly.

What’s this Death and Rebirth movie? Didn’t it come out before The End of Evangelion?

Skip it. Yes, it did come out between the series and The End of Evangelion, but you don’t need to watch it. It’s a recap of the series, plus an early edit of the first third of The End of Evangelion. You will not miss anything by skipping it (provided you saw the director’s cuts of episodes 21-24). Death(true) and Death(true)2 are re-edits of the recap part of Death and Rebirth. If you hear about The Revival of Evangelion, it’s simply an edited together version of Death(true)2 and The End of Evangelion.

You said something about a manga series at the beginning there?

Like Star Wars in 1977, Evangelion’s famous debut wasn’t actually its debut. Yoshiyuki Sadamoto released the first issue of a manga also entitled Neon Genesis Evangelion at the very end of 1994, 10 months before the show started! Sadamoto was the character designer for the TV show, and as a result, the art in the manga is extremely consistent. He nails it in every chapter.
Incredibly, it took Sadamoto almost 19 years to finish the series, which exists in a separate continuity to the show. Certain plot points play out very differently, and the characterization differs in many places, but the overall story arc is the one we know and love from the anime.
I highly recommend the manga to fans of the show, despite it telling a very similar story. You’ll appreciate it best if you’ve taken a bit of a break between the anime before starting the manga.
There are 13 volumes of the manga, and they’re fairly easy to come by. The easiest way to read them is by picking up the omnibus editions which have multiple volumes within each. There are five omnibuses collecting the entire series.

I swear there are way more movies than what you’ve mentioned so far.

Uh, yeah. We’ll get to those. First of all, let’s wrap up some of the other Evangelion-related media that’s out there:
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Angelic Days is a spinoff manga set in an alternate continuity. It has shades of the core Evangelion story but with a romantic shoujo twist. Six volumes were released between 2003 and 2005.
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Shinji Ikari Riasing Project is another spinoff manga set in another alternate continuity. It’s very different to the core Evangelion story and has much more comedy and fanservice. 18 volumes were released between 2005 and 2016.
Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse (aka Neon Genesis Evangelion Academy: Record of Heaven's Descent in Japanese) is yet another spinoff manga in another alternate continuity, this time with a high school mystery premise. Three volumes were released in 2007.
Petit Eva: [email protected] is a chibi-style parody manga, plus a series of animated shorts, where everyone gets up to wacky hijinks completely unconnected to any of the other continuities. If you are desperately searching this out, you may have taken your Evangelion obsession a bit too far.
There are quite a few video games that are part of the series, but most were only released in Japan and aren’t considered canon. The exception is Neon Genesis Evangelion 2, originally released for the Playstation 2 in 2003 in Japan only. As a reward for completing each scenario, the player is given access to increasingly-detailed information on various Evangelion topics (Called the “Classified Information”). The complete Classified Information includes a lot of information not found anywhere else in the series, and what’s more, it seems to be aligned with the original anime’s continuity. Many of the “Evangelion Explained” videos you’ll see will heavily rely on this information. It’s debated whether it’s truly “canon” or not, but apparently Hideako Anno was involved in the writing. In my opinion, the Classified Information makes enough sense that I do consider it canon, and if you’re itching for answers after finishing the core story, you should look it up – English translations are easy to find.
There are a bunch of one-off publications of dubious canonicity that you may wish to look up, and heaps of art books and other behind-the-scenes material, much of it only in Japanese.
The merchandise situation is… Out of control. You will struggle to name a product that has not had an Evangelion-themed version of it produced at some point.

Okay, can we talk about these other movies now?

The Rebuild of Evangelion is a series of four full-length theatrical films set in a new Evangelion continuity.
If you want to be absolutely in the dark about what to expect from these movies, you should skip this section. Although I won’t give away any story spoilers, I will hint at a little about what these movies “feel” like.
The Rebuild films are infamous for a number of reasons:
  1. The first film was released in 2007, and the second was supposed to come out later that year, and the third and fourth were supposed to be released together in 2008. The second film didn’t come out until 2009, the third not until 2012, and the fourth… No release date as of 2020. Yeah.
  2. They’re not made by Gainax, but by a new studio called Khara. Hideako Anno is still director though. I think Khara do a great job, but not all fans are fans.
  3. Anno pitched the series as a kind of “re-make” of the original TV series in theatrical form, but with the benefit of more than a decade’s worth of the director’s personal growth and a very healthy animation budget. It was suggested that the characters and story would be re-tooled for a modern audience, and that the whole thing would be more accessible and coherent than the original continuity. That... was a lie.
  4. Are the films really a new continuity? Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you choose to obliviously bring this topic up around passionate fans.
Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone was released in 2007 and follows the first arc of the anime very closely, shot-for-shot for much of it. It’s great to see those scenes animated in glorious HD though.
Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance was released in 2009 and introduces a brand new, Rebuild-exclusive character into the mix. To say it diverges from the original story would be an understatement.
Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo was released in 2012 and should probably require a waiver to be signed before it is viewed.
Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time was supposed to come out in 2020, but the coronavirus caused it to be put on hold indefinitely. The film is apparently complete, but knowing Anno, that doesn’t necessarily mean much. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the film goes through three more titles and a complete re-write before it finally comes out.
Most of the original English and Japanese voice casts returned for the Rebuild films with a few exceptions, and the performances are better than they’ve ever been. The English dub of 3.0 was a bit of a drama, with it initially premiering in 2013 in cinemas, but with no DVD release in sight. Khara apparently sent the dubbing team (Funimation) back to the drawing board. The agonizingly re-worked dub was finally released on DVD in 2016.
The DVD and Blu-ray releases of the films have slightly altered numbering: 1.11, 2.22, 3.33 etc. This reflects that many corrections and additions were included for these releases compared to the versions shown in cinemas.

I can’t really tell if you’re recommending these movies or not…

The Rebuild series is frustrating, perplexing, sometimes rage-inducing, but it’s the true successor to the original core story, with Hideako Anno’s creative vision in full bloom. You need to see these movies if you’re an Evangelion fan. However, you also need to completely re-set your expectations. Don’t stumble into these movies right after the credits roll on The End of Evangelion. You’re going to want to give it some time, get a few life experiences under your belt, and then sit down with a fresh palate to experience this very different iteration of the Evangelion story.

Why do people go on and on about Evangelion? The fans seem kind of rabid sometimes.

If you’ve read this far, you will probably have got the sense that any media franchise that inspires people to write guides like this (and many, many other far more impressive fan contributions) must have some sort of cult-like appeal. That’s pretty much the case for Evangelion, and the fans are pretty notorious for their passion and geekery. That can be said for quite a few franchises, but I think Evangelion is special because it genuinely changes people’s lives.
Hideako Anno has struggled with depression on-and-off throughout his life, and Evangelion is a product of that struggle. Evangelion tries to grapple with the “why am I really here” question in a way that very few other stories have. I still remember the moments after I first finished the series, my heart beating fast, and in the ensuing days I mulled over what it all meant. After a while, and some discussions with other fans, I started to put together my own interpretation. The immense satisfaction and comfort I felt after deciding on the meaning that I wanted to take away stays with me to this day, and the lessons I took from it are ones I still regularly use to navigate my own life.
Ask any Evangelion fan and they’ll have a story similar to this. That’s why they’re so fiercely protective of it. It’s much more than a media franchise – it’s an introduction to a lifelong practice of self-reflection and conscious growth, and that’s not a small thing.
Regardless of what you get out of Evangelion, at the very least I hope you have a blast enjoying it, and becoming part of the huge and wonderful community of Evangelion fans around the world.
_____
For the love of all that is holy, please don't post spoilers in the comments!
submitted by Mitch_NZ to television [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 22:19 OfficiallyRelevant An open letter to Chris Roberts and his bullshit.

As you all know, Chris Roberts has made his Great Return to the internet after a long time of silence. The main sub is currently jizzing themselves and absolving CIG of all problems they currently have. Now that their lord and savior has returned (after seeing the collective praise on the main sub I do mean this literally) it seems that all is forgiven. Absolutely pathetic.
If you want to encourage me or other developers to answer questions then it helps to not turn around and question people's professionalism or make sweeping statements. If someone did that to you in your job I am sure it would be irritating. I have a thicker skin than most of the developers at CIG, and realize that not everyone is speaking in their first language or realizes how they phrased things may not have been the best, but in general it is best to approach things with constructive criticism, leaving the ad hominems out.
Constructive criticism? When the fuck HAVE YOU EVER allowed genuine constructive criticism on Spectrum? You have your wannabe lords moderating it like children who can't handle civil discourse. You think someone criticizing your shit show of a project is an ad hominem.
Your professionalism WILL BE and DESERVES TO BE QUESTIONED when you take over $300,000,000 in crowd funds and spend 8 years OUTRIGHT FUCKING LYING to your backers about the state of the project. You LIED about 2014's release date from the GET-GO. You have LIED about the state of Squadron 42 FOR THE BETTER PART OF A DECADE AND CONTINUE TO DO SO TODAY.
Where is the SQ42 video you promised Chris? It's nothing but b-roll footage. Since then, you've pumped out plenty of garbage ISCs in the meantime, yet somehow the video wasn't "up to your standards?" Fuck off. If that's really the case then SQ42 must be in dire straits indeed.
When you publicly claim you're going to do something then don't you WILL BE CRITICIZED. Right now all I see is a fucking child trying to act like his professionalism is above criticism and desperately trying to absolve himself.
You wouldn't be putting this much time into something if you didn't care, so why put energy into posting something that a developer will dismiss because it feels like an attack?
Lol, this coming from the guy claiming he has thick skin. Again, look at how you moderate your own fucking forums before claiming that everything is an attack on you. Get over yourself.
I can tell you that being considerate of someone and treating them with respect will get you much further than than being dismissive.
I'm sorry, what have you accomplished in the last 9 years that I should hold you with such high regard because I'm drawing a blank. You deserve fuckall in terms of respect. You've spent 8 years and an absurd amount of money on a project and shit out a barely playable pre-alpha tech demo.
The development team reads these forums and other places like reddit, and the community's feedback really helps, but the feedback that gets actioned on, that gets passed around internally and is discussed is the constructive type, not the overly negative type. Just saying something sucks isn't helpful.
Oh we know you do, Chris. Considering someone in this sub was joking about how you should make a roadmap to a roadmap and you apparently decided to take it to heart.
My biggest disappointment with modern internet discourse is that there's a significant amount of cynicism, especially in forum or reddit debates, and a portion of people assume the worst.
Tell us WHY WE SHOULDN'T Chris. I feel like I'm running in circles reading your wall of crap, but again, you've spent the last 9 years talking straight out of your ass about Fart Citizen. You've claimed it had more content than AAA games. You've made your fans ignorantly believe you're pushing the envelope with a bartender that has been so abused at his job that he stares at the drink he should be pouring like he's having flashbacks from 'Nam.
Assuming the worst is the most logical decision here. You promised more than the moon with this project and have delivered almost nothing in the grand scheme of things 9 years later when you claimed it would originally take two. And yes, we are well aware that you decided to increase the scope just because a minority of backers voted in favor of it...
If a feature is missing, late or buggy it's because the company or the developer lied and or / is incompetent as opposed to the fact that it just took longer and had more problems than the team thought it would when they originally set out to build it.
AND HERE IT IS. This is you, Chris, a manchild who can't own up to the fact he is in over his head. I take it we can presume that you are admitting you were full of fucking shit in your original kickstarter then? Because you haven't even completed the original scope with a budget and time that is way more than your original calculations.
And you know what that's called, Chris? It's called INCOMPETENCE, period.
Developers by their very nature are optimistic. You have to be to build things that haven't ever been built before.
Oh for fuck's sake... this is what we mean by TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS. You haven't accomplished ANYTHING you twat, yet have the audacity to say this utter horseshit. There is nothing in your tech demo that should lead anyone with common sense to believe that you can actually achieve what you've claimed you are going to do. Ambition is cheap and it's clear you do not have the skills to pull it off.
Otherwise the sheer weight of what is needed to be done can crush you. But being optimistic or not foreseeing issues isn't the same as lying or deliberately misleading people.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, you're really desperate aren't ya? Okay then, Chris, I must ask the question again: WHERE IS THE SQ42 VIDEO? Or how about when you claimed FIVE YEARS AGO that backers would have everything they originally pledged for and more? There is an ENTIRE ALBUM full of your lies.
Truth is, Chris, even if you didn't start out intentionally misleading people, you have mislead people for years regarding the state of the project and we aren't going to let you back your ass out of this now and act like you're some kind of genius inventing new tech.
Everyone at CIG is incredibly passionate about making Star Citizen the most immersive massively multiplayer first person universe sandbox, and everyone works very hard to deliver that.
Dude, you struggle to handle even 50 players on a server. Think of all the shit you want to add to the game: planets filled with life, "true to life AI" (see bartender for an example of what CIG's version of this is), and a lot more. YOU WILL NEVER ACCOMPLISH THIS, period. The writing is on the walls. In the next decade or two there will be games that destroy yours. And backers WILL BE LUCKY to have a beta with everything you've planned by 2030. That's the hard truth, Chris.
If we could deliver harder, faster, better we would. We get just as frustrated with the time things take. We practice bottom up task estimation where the team implementing the feature breaks it down and gives their estimates of how long it will take them. Management doesn't dictate timelines, we just set priorities for the teams as there are always a lot more things to do at any one time than we have people to do them.
Maybe you should've been a competent project leader and stopped adding things to a scope that was already ridiculously huge. By the way, how's staggered development going? I hear that was supposed to help a lot, but so far, haven't seen that as being the case.
We are constantly reviewing and trying to improve our AGILE development process and how we estimate sprints. As the code, feature and content base grows there is more maintenance and support needed for the existing features and content, which can eat into the time a team has for new feature development, meaning you always have the push and pull of current quality of life in a release versus delivering new features and content.
And this is why you WILL NEVER release this project in any meaningful time frame.
We have also decided we wanted to invest more time into the quality of life, performance and stability in Star Citizen as it is actively played every day by tens of thousands of people; on normal days we have an average of over 30,000 different people playing and at the peak during events this year we've hit 100,000 unique accounts playing in one day which is pretty impressive for a game in an early Alpha state. We are on track to have over one million unique players this year. Star Citizen already has the main gameloops of a space sim; cargo hauling, commodity trading, mercenary, pirate, bounty hunting and mining. Just spending time refining and finishing out these would make Star Citizen with all it's detail and fidelity more engrossing than any "finished" space sim you can play today.​​
TALKING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ASS, CHRIS. Holy fucking shit dude, learn some tact. This is why your professionalism gets criticized. Your gameplay loops are fucking shit. Your AI is shit. We have no reason to believe that they will get better anytime soon.
Switching the roadmap format was something that I made a priority for us at the start of the year when it was clear that the current roadmap format wasn't helping, especially as the teams really didn't want to commit until absolutely definitely their feature would make it, which you'll normally only know about six weeks before release, due to the vitriol they would see when a task was pushed back, despite our best efforts to get everyone that looks at the current Road Map to read and acknowledge the caveats ( https://robertsspaceindustries.com/roadmap/board/1-Star-Citizen/info ) which explicitly say some of the tasks are likely to slip.
We know about the caveats. EVERYONE DOES. The problem is when roadmaps are constantly gutted it shows just how piss poor of a job you are doing.
I can promise you the gameplay I described is not a pipe dream, nor will it take 10 to 20 years to deliver. I described systems we either have working, or are working on; we've even shown early versions of some of this like fire on Inside Star Citizen. I can't promise you exactly what quarter it will come together but once the new Road Map web work is done you'll be able to see the teams progress to achieving what I describe in real time.​​
Given the inaccuracy of your promises, Chris, I'm going to call 100% BULLSHIT on this. Remember when you guaranteed a 2014 release date? How about 2015? Or "ANSWER THE CALL" 2016?
It's unbelievable to me how unprofessional you are. From the way you outright lie and mislead people to how you act like your project is a gift from God himself. Get help, dude. You are a pathological liar. Fact of the matter is that if people could see the state of the game today 8 years ago NO ONE WOULD'VE BACKED IT, period.
It gets called a scam because you continue to make these outrageous claims, yet your funding continues to rise while the progress on the game itself is pitiful. SQ42 may as well be vaporware.
Grow up, Chris. Maybe if you handled yourself with class your project wouldn't be in the state that it's in.
submitted by OfficiallyRelevant to starcitizen_refunds [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 22:11 busybee975 How to end a sr gently

I am a long time reader on this sub. First time posting so please bear with me.
I have met up with this pot SB several times for platonic dates. She's everything I asked for. Beautiful, stylish, slim and attractive. Whenever I am with her, I am the center of her universe.
Although it was a platonic date, we had hugged and kissed. It was magical. I was so looking forward to start our arrangement.
Last night, we had our first intimate date. It was a disaster.
I will not go into details, in case she's reading this post. This is not my first rodeo. I know that it takes time for two people to get sexually comfortable with each other. However, there's just some fundamental problems with her that I can't see any way around it.
Basically the problem is not something that communication could resolve.
Eg (just an example- this is not what happened) if oral sex is important to me and I went down on her but she refused as she said that she didn't enjoy it and she will not do it.
Question: how do I gently tell her that I do not wish to continue with the arrangement? She got her ppm last night and she's over the moon. She's been texting me about next date and I am dreading it.
Update and edit:
Ok you guys have been asking what it is. I will not tell you the exact thing. Basically it is something as simple as she does not want me to touch/kiss a lot of places on her body. So other than her lips on her face, I didn't get to kiss any where else. I tried to touch her and the only place I am allowed to touch is her v. No where else is allowed.
I msg her and told her that I do not see us being sexually compatible. She didn't reply and I guess that's it.
Thanks for all the fees back guys. Back to the drawing board.
submitted by busybee975 to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 18:47 Altaisk A walk through the charts: February

Hi! This is a follow-up to my previous post, where I dived into the month of January on Koreas official music charts; Gaon. As always, please chime in with any thoughts on how to improve these type of posts.
With January, we established which artists and songs were popular with the general public at the start of a new year. Going forward, we'll be taking a closer look at how the charts change and evolve, perhaps especially as we start moving into months that are closer to typical comeback periods for idols. Let's go!

Which changes are we seeing from January?

I previously mentioned how charts often can tells stories about what's trending, what's hot and what's going on in society at large. In Korea, this is perhaps most visible with their preference for OSTs. For February, IU comes in at 6th on the charts with her OST Give You My Heart. And as if that wasn't enough, Crush comes in at 9th with Let Us Go. You can probably guess which drama both songs stem from. I recently watched the first episode, and I enjoyed it far more than I expected. Crash Landing on You certainly made it's presence felt on the charts. As for the songs themselves.. well, they're OSTs. I rarely find them special when removed from the context of their drama, even when performed by my personal favorites. They both come across as very typical ballads to me, lacking some of the spark that you'd find, for example, in the ballads of IU's previous album (Love Poem).
As for our idols, Black Swan by BTS captures a very impressive 11th place, moving up from their 24th place. Their inner struggles relating to their relationship to music certainly seems to have captured people. Another favorite of the public, Baekhyun, moves to 18th for his silky smooth vocals on the OST My Love for the drama Romantic Doctor, which we previously saw at 23rd place. I love seeing male idols represented high up on the charts, since it's very, very difficult to achieve for anyone. Baekhyun especially captured my attention throughout 2020, and we'll be seeing much more of him. As for BTS, well, they're BTS. There's a certain sense of class of them that's just different. And that's it for new entries!

So what does the top 20 look like?

In general, the most popular songs of February didn't differ much from what was listened to in January. Although, Zico now rules supreme over the nation of Korea as Any Song doesn't just take the #1, but by a freakish margin of 58 million points down to Changmo's Meteor. While Hip-Hop is dominating at the peak, Zico is close to ascending off the peak and into the stratosphere. Red Velvet remains at 3rd place, showing impressive consistency with their late 2019 hit, Psycho. It's longevity elevates it to the clear frontrunner as SOTY-candidate among girl groups, and it's remarkable to find this kind of longevity for idols music, especially in latter years.
Which also applies to Mamamoo, who still keeps a place in the top ten, months after release. Hip really was that song. Baek Yerin warrants a mention, as her OST for Crash Landing on You takes an impressive 4th place, climbing nine places since January. IU remains at a strong 5th place with Blueming.
BTS' Boy With Luv is doing ridicolous things, as it is in 14th place, a year after release, which is completely unheard of in terms of idol music and especially idol music from boygroups. I'm not sure how to make sense of it by using words, so I won't try. Aside from this, the top 20 looks much the same as it did in January:
  1. Zico - Any Song 182,6 million points
  2. Changmo - Meteor 124,3 million points
  3. Red Velvet - Psycho 104,2 million points
  4. Baek Yerin - Here I Am Again 96 million points)
  5. IU - Blueming 94 million points
  6. IU - I Give you my Heart 89,3 million points
  7. Noel - Late Night 84,7 million points
  8. Jang Beum Joon - Your Shampoo Scent in the Flowers 79,5 million points
  9. Crush - Lets Us Go 75,2 million points
  10. Mamamoo - Hip 73,85 million points
  11. BTS - Black Swan 70,4 million points
  12. AKMU - How Can I Love the Heartbreak ... 70,3 million points
  13. IU - Love Poem 64,5 million points
  14. BTS - Boy With Luv 64,4 million points
  15. YUMDDA, Deepflow, Simon Dominic and an ensemble of rappers - Imma Do 64 million points
  16. Baek Yerin - Square 61 million points
  17. Maktub - To You my Light 58,7 million points
  18. Baekhyun - My Love 55,9 million points
  19. Changmo - I Wished 55,5 million points
  20. Paul Kim - So Long 54,1 million points

What were the most popular February releases?

I didn't include a section like this for January, but I believe it'd be good if every month had a section focusing on the particular releases of that month. I don't want to just dump this info out of the blue, so i'll cross it over with the monthly charts and explain certain discrepancies. I'll show you the digital points the song accumulated 30 days from release, compared to how many points they racked up for February as a month.
1. IU - I Give You My Heart (15th February)
Now, there are very few things that can squeeze ahead of a BTS comeback since they went enormous across the world. Now, IU combined her power with that of a very popular drama, so that I Give You My Heart topped February was hardly surprising. I Give You My Heart accumulated 144 million points in the 30 days since release, 89m which counted for the February chart. IU strong.
2. BTS - ON (27th February)
BTS made the 22nd place on the monthly charts of February, despite it's release near the complete end of the month. That's quite crazy. As for the song itself, I felt it was .. very grand. Personally, it wasn't quite my type of pop music, but I expect it to be an absolute banger at concerts. The song accumulated 126million points in 30 days, 53 million of those were counted for February. As of such, you might be able to guess which song is gonna appear very far up the charts next month. It begins with an O and ends on a N. Yeah.
3. Iz*One - Fiesta (17th February)
Iz*Ones long awaited comeback was certainly mired in some controversy, but they pulled off an excellent comeback. Fiesta is fun, filled with energy and showcases the extraordinary talent of a very well balanced group. Of course, their physical sales were astonishing and warrant a mention as well. The power of produce, huh? I'm gonna cry when they eventually have to disband, very manly and powerful tears will escape my eyes.
Aside from this, the most popular February releases were mostly songs from BTS' new album. Which isn't entirely unexpected, but instead of listing the entire track list of that album (which is what the top 20 of February releases looks like), i'll highlight an interesting placement:
22nd. Gfriend - Crossroads (3rd February).
During a regular month, Gfriend would be way higher on the list of monthly releases, accumulating 31m points in a 30-day time span, almost all of which counted for the February chart. It's obviously not at the levels of their previous peaks, but it's silly to expect a group to stay at their peak for a very long time. The song strongly reminds me of Time for the Moon Night, and sounds very much like Gfriend to me. Perhaps they've grown stale? They came in 71st at the monthly charts, which shows a drop in public interest.

Finally, let's move through the entire top 100, to see which idol music was listened to in February.

22nd. BTS - ON (53,081,594). Previously written about. It'll make a jump on the charts, due to it's late February release. The marching band will march upwards the charts in March.
24th. Fiesta - Iz*One (51, 941, 720). Previously written about. Perhaps an indicator that scandals that might seem large and threatening to the eyes of people involved in the scene, are often ignored by the public?
38th. BTS - Spring Day (41,383,585). I'll eventually stop commenting on this particular song, but I still find it interesting that it's one of the most listened to idol songs in Korea, month after month. It's been like this for long, but the song often fluctuates between every placement from the thirties to the eighties. As this is BTS comeback month, their songs are seeing increased streaming efforts, so that helps. At the same time, spring is drawing closer at this point, which obviously helps Spring Day.
50th. Paul Kim & Chungha - Loveship (37,569,353). A very positive showing for two of the brightest stars in the Korean music scene, as Loveship jumps up 28 places since January.
52nd. Taeyeon - Four Seasons (35,599,394). Taeyeons smash hit from last year, remains strong at 52nd. I think it's safe to place Taeyeon in the peak tier of female singers in terms of popularity.
53rd. Sejeong - All of my Days (35,408,067). I'm not sure if OSTs sung by idols should count as idol music, but since I've included them so far, i'll keep it like that. And yes, it's an OST for Crash Landing on You. Not a particularily interesting one, but i'll always root for Sejeong.
54th. Taeyeon - All About You (35,380,065) Remember how in January, Taeyeon had like half of all idol songs on the Korean top 100? Obviously those songs haven't fallen off the charts yet, and it puts into perspective what a strong 2019 Taeyeon had.
56th. Taeyeon - Spark (34,822,129). Oh hi there Taeyeon.
63rd. IU - Above the Time (33, 218,606). IU promoted her follow-up to her smash hit 9 years ago, You & I with a music video following up on the time-travel plot. A power ballad, showcasing her vocals.
64th. BTS - Mikrokosmos (32,281,031). Once we move past the top 60, a significant amount of BTS' songs begin to appear. I think it's a mixture of a very strong streaming culture in a large fandom, coupled with some lingering public interest in their previous work. There's definitely a large difference between these songs and their hits with the public, like Spring Day and Boy With Luv.
67th. Taeyeon - Dear Me (31,494,956,). I love Taeyeon sharing the uplifting message of self-acceptance and self-love in the face of adversity. This is one of my favorite songs of hers - a little bit simple, yet very effective. Falls down 12 places, as Taeyeon is quite resistant towards dropping off the charts.
69th. BTS - Idol (30,985,465). I love the chorus. You can't stop me loving myself. The song is fun, but I'm usually not a great fan of excessive chanting.
70th. BTS - OO_OO (Zero O' Clock) (30,259,259). Interestingly, the highest placement of a B-side from BTS new album. It's ahead of the next b-side by a few million points, indicating that the casual listeners interested in BTS, preferred Zero O Clock among the B-sides. Atleast during February. Will we see changes in March?
71th. Gfriend - Crossroads (30,243,690). A very vintage Gfriend feel to Crossroads, but it did not really capture the attention of the public. Still, one of relatively few February releases to make it onto the monthly charts for February.
76th. Feel Special - Twice (29,456,303). Twice remains on the chart, but Feel Special is falling off quickly at this point - as is expected, as many idol songs from the November period are leaving the charts now.
84th. BTS - Friends (26,527,543). The second b-side off of BTS new album to make it on the charts. I'm not really a fan, but I think it's a song geared towards their fans, as b-sides sometimes are.
86th. Punch ft Chanyeol - Go Away Go Away (26,452,241). A year ago, Exos rapper coupled up with the experienced OST-specialist Punch for a song for the drama Guardian: The Lonely and Great God. It was a massive success with over 2,5 million downloads. Their next project together, this ost for the drama Dr. Romantic 2, didn't achieve quite the same heights.. but! It jumped 75 places since January.
90th. G-idle - Lion (25,963,670). The queendom perfomance helped G-idle, but it's time for Lion to fall of the charts. It's my personal favorite from them, I can't get enough of the pre-chorus.
91th. BTS - Filter (25,554,459). The third best placement for a B-side off of BTS new album is Jimins solo effort. I actually half-expected this to be the best performing B-side, due to Jimins popularity in South Korea. Perhaps we'll see changes in the coming months? This is the 5th song off of Map of the Soul: 7 on the Korean top 100 for February.
93rd Exo - Obsession (25,212,412). The use of distorted voices, especially as a prominent feature of the songs (multiple) hooks is pretty cool .. even if it's at risk of sounding slightly dated. It's a November release, so it deserves credit for staying on the charts until February.
96th. Sechs Kies - All for You (24,630,019). Technically, this is idol music as Sechs Kies used to be an influential and large idol group during the first wave of K-pop. I can't get into a history lesson, but they were one of the first successful boy groups, continous rivals to H.O.T and basically funded DSP media (who would later fail to keep up with the tempo of the industry). They reunited in 2016 under YG Entertainment, kinda similar to how H.O.T made a comeback through variety appereances and hosting some concerts.
100th. BTS - Make it Right (24,218,149). I don't like this song, and i'll leave it at that. Namjoon and Sugas raps are decent however. I think fans will relate better to the lyrics and feel the boys better.
Having gone through the charts, we can easily see a few different things. We're seeing a few idols impacting the charts through their comebacks, which is what we like, what we want, and what we'll be seeing more of coming up. As a summary:
A summary of the numbers:
For the month of February, of 100 songs on Koreas official music chart Gaon, 31 songs were performed by idols (atleast partially). This includes idols performing OSTs and artists with an idol background such as Zico and IU. That makes almost one third of the charts, idol-oriented.
Excluding OSTs and being more strict with who is an idol however, we end up with 22 songs by idols. THis number excludes features, OSTs and doesn't include IU or Zico as idols. BTS is the most represented among idols, with 10 songs on the top 100. Comeback month indeed. Taeyeon follows up with 4 songs on the top 100. BTS and Taeyeon makes up 63% of the idol music on the top 100 for February, which first and foremost reflect that idols are yet to really begin making their 2020 comebacks.
We're also still at seven unique idol groups represented, as in January: Red Velvet, Mamamoo, BTS, Twice, G-idle, EXO and Girlfriend, as AOA falls out of the top 100. I expect this number to increase in the coming months.
February: 31 or 22 songs on the top 100, idol music making up 22% of the charts.January: 29 or 16 songs on the top 100, idol music making up 16% of the charts.

submitted by Altaisk to kpopthoughts [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 10:14 Mitch_NZ How to get into Neon Genesis Evangelion: A 100% spoiler-free guide for complete newbies

What’s the deal with Neon Genesis Evangelion? I keep hearing about it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is the name of an anime and also a manga series that both started in the mid 1990s. Since then, it’s grown into a major franchise with numerous spinoffs, and a merchandise empire to rival Star Wars. Beloved in its homeland of Japan and by fans all over the planet, Neon Genesis Evangelion’s early releases still hold up to the very best today, and as of 2020 the franchise is still active with new entries on the horizon.
If you’re curious about this series and want to see what all the fuss is about, you could just dive head-first into it, but if you’re like me, you suffer from severe franchise anxiety, worrying about getting into it “wrong”. Well, that’s where I come in. I’m going to tell you all the things that my overthinking ass wished I knew back when I first jumped into it a long time ago. You can read this whole guide and not be spoiled about any story details.
Throughout this guide, I’ll use the word “Evangelion” as an abbreviation for the franchise as a whole. As well as “Evangelion”, fans may use the full title “Neon Genesis Evangelion” to refer to the franchise, or the acronym “NGE”, or simply “Eva”.

I feel like this franchise is really complicated. Where do I even start? How does it all fit together?

I remember hearing a friend tell me that he was curious about getting into the series but felt overwhelmed by the many entries and didn’t know where to start. It was sad to hear that, because in actual fact, the franchise structure is very simple. This isn’t Gundam.
The most important part of Evangelion is what I’ll call the “core Evangelion story”, and it’s the primary continuity. This begins with the 26-episode anime series, plus the theatrical film The End of Evangelion. That’s it! That’s the core story. All you need to do is watch the series, then the movie. Everything else is a spinoff or bonus content in one form or another. There’s no “true” sequel to the core story*.
*…or is there?

Okay, so I start with the TV series?

Yep! The original show (which I’ll just call NGE from here on in) ran for a single season of 26 episodes between 1995 and 1996 in Japan, and each episode aired in a half-hour timeslot, so episode lengths are generally 21-23 minutes each. It won’t take you long to get through it (although I recommend NOT binging it all at once for reasons I’ll go into later) unlike many other long-running franchises.
There are some key things to know before you start, though:

Director’s cut episodes

First of all, most versions of NGE released after the airing of the show include an alternative “director’s cut” for episodes 21 to 24. My DVD version allows you to select between the original cut and the director’s cut. If offered a choice, always choose the director’s cut of these episodes. The director’s cuts include several minutes per episode of additional footage. These extra scenes are critical to understanding the story. If you are watching on Netflix, don’t worry, episodes 21 through 24 are the director’s cut versions.

Episode Titles

These can get confusing. If you want to talk about specific episodes with other fans, you may want to try and remember the episode numbers. The titles work too, but there are two of them for each episode, and there are numerous translations of each.
For example, episode three is titled 鳴らない、電話 in Japanese, which roughly translates to “The Phone That Doesn’t Ring”, but it also has an English title, which is “A Transfer”. To make matters worse, the English titles were chosen by Gainax, the animation studio, who are Japanese and aren’t native English speakers, so some of them are a bit awkward-sounding.

Language

We need to talk about dubs and subs. NGE was made by a Japanese studio for Japanese audiences and used a Japanese cast speaking Japanese. As the show soared in popularity, broadcasters around the world took notice and moved quickly to secure rights to dub the show in foreign languages. Since this guide is in English, I’ll only be talking about English adaptations, however the show is available dubbed and subbed in many other languages, and I understand that some of the dubs are considered excellent.

The original Japanese

The original Japanese voice actors deliver a phenomenal, iconic performance. My personal preference is to watch the show in Japanese with English subtitles, and the main reason is because I love the Japanese voice cast and I think they do the best job of conveying the emotions of the characters. Plus, Megumi Ogata’s screams… Blood-curdling. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
The show is set in a version of Japan, and cultural references to Japan are frequent. In my opinion, these references feel more natural in the original Japanese language, as compared to the dubs which have to find ways to make them make sense in American-accented English.
Most versions of NGE use the same translation for the subtitles, and I think it’s a great translation that captures the intention of the original Japanese whilst making sensible choices to ensure that it reads naturally in English. The Netflix subs are a new translation, and are much stricter in sticking to the Japanese wording, but many longtime fans are unhappy with the way certain scenes appear to have their meaning or context quite significantly altered by this new translation. I haven’t closely compared the two translations, but some of the things I’ve read about the Netflix translation certainly sound concerning to me as a longtime fan. Still – if Netflix is your only means of watching the series, I don’t think it’s a deal-breaker!
The downside of watching a subtitled anime is the same as always: Your immersion in the visuals is hampered by the need to keep an eye on the bottom of the screen to read subtitles, and NGE’s dialogue can get a bit hectic at times. You’ll need to be an attentive reader to keep up with the play at some points. I find that I can still appreciate the visuals of the show while reading the subtitles, but for many, it’s far more preferable to hear the dialogue in their native language, and for that, you’ll need to decide between the two English dubs that have been officially released.

The original English dub

The original English dub was produced by ADV Films not long after the show started airing in Japan, and the studio were operating on a tight budget, short timeframe and a limited pool of voice acting talent. Also it was 1996, and anime dubbing in 1996 was a very different artform to today. The result is that the original dub of NGE sounds a bit like a children’s cartoon from 1996… Which is exactly what it was in many ways. Despite this, the original dub has many passionate fans, and as the series progresses, the performances increase in quality. Most of the main voice cast returned for later series entries as well, and they’ve only got better over time.

The Netflix dub

Netflix surprised everyone when in 2019 they brought the entire series to their platform… With a brand-new translation and dub. This new dub has generated a lot of controversy, and the main reason is that none of the original voice cast reprised their role, and many were never even invited to audition. It also has a reworked script, just as the subtitles have, and many of the changes upset longtime fans. On the other hand, it’s a much more polished and professional dub than the original, and the translation is closer to the original Japanese in many ways.
My advice to first-timers is to not sweat the decision too much, but if you’re comfortable with reading subtitles, I still think watching it in Japanese is the best way to experience it, but go with whatever suits you best!

The Music

Shiro Sagisu composed the music for NGE, and it’s fantastic. You’re in for a treat. The series’ opening theme is famous, and also a bit of a meme. All I’ll say is if you only heard the opening theme and had to guess what the show was like, you’d be very, very wrong.
The Netflix dub made a pretty major change to the music in that they could not get the rights to the original ending theme, the classic Bart Howard song “Fly Me to the Moon”. Instead, they use one of the series’ prominent cues for the ending theme. The replacement music actually works quite well, but as a longtime fan, it’s difficult to imagine each episode not ending with “Fly Me to the Moon”. If you’re a newbie, it probably won’t make much difference at all, but if you want the “classic” experience, you’ll need to find a version other than the Netflix one.

The Format

NGE is in 4:3 ratio. If your version is somehow in widescreen, press stop immediately because something has gone very wrong. Learn to love the elegance of the 4:3 format.
The whole series is now available in HD, and it looks great, however the animation isn’t so richly detailed that you lose out by watching it in SD. If you only have a DVD copy, don’t sweat it trying to find an HD copy!
There are a fair few releases of the series out there, some of which are highly collectible. I’m not an expert on the differences between them, but as far as I know, there aren’t any “must-avoid” prints you need to worry about.

So, uh, what’s Evangelion even about?

Ask this to most fans and they’ll probably chuckle before a bit before they say anything. That’s because there’s quite a few ways to describe it, and they all sound either shallow and boring, or pretentious and overblown.
The core Evangelion story is about monsters who attack a city in Japan, and the only way to fight them off is by using giant robots, who all happen to be piloted by teenagers. Pretty standard premise, really.

It sounds like a straightforward mecha show.

Glad you said that, because NGE is indeed an entry in the mecha (giant robot) genre of anime.
You’ll hear the phrase “deconstruction” mentioned a lot in reference to this show, but don’t be put off by that. All it means is that prior to 1995, mecha anime and manga were very popular, and they tended to follow a pretty rigid set of tropes. One of NGE’s calling cards is that it intentionally dodges many of the clichés of mecha shows by trying to show how teenagers piloting giant robots against a mysterious enemy would really go down in real life.
The deconstruction aspect of NGE, although prominent, is also not particularly important to a new viewer in 2020, particularly if you aren’t familiar with earlier mecha series. If you are though, I think you’ll appreciate how NGE deals with what seems like a standard premise.
NGE was animated by Gainax, a famous anime studio, and the director was Hideaki Anno. If you’ve seen the 2016 film Shin Godzilla which Anno directed, you’ll notice many similarities between that and this series. If you’ve seen the 1984 Hayao Miyazaki film Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, you might see things in NGE that remind you of the scene where the Giant Warrior attacks. Guess who animated that scene!

I heard this show was deep. How deep are we talking?

NGE is the butt of many a meme due to its reputation as a “deep” anime with a complex (or incomprehensible, depending on who you ask) story and themes. My advice is to forget all that. Your expectations going into this show need to be reset if you really want to enjoy it for what it is. All you need to know is that the story is a wild ride, and no matter how clued-up you think you are, it’s going to go places you don’t expect.
You don’t need to do preparatory readings of philosophy papers or religious texts, just go into it with an open mind, and perhaps a reflection on what your own life goals are, how you motivate yourself to achieve them, and also your experiences trying to create and maintain relationships with others. Casting your mind back to how you were in your early teens will help get into the mindset of the main characters too.

Great. I think I’m ready to get started.

That’s good. Just a few more bits of advice from me:

So I finished the series. What’s this about a movie?

To be clear, there are no spoilers in this guide, so feel free to read this section even if you haven’t watched the series yet!
You’ll hear all sorts of things about The End of Evangelion, the film that was originally released in 1997. All you need to know right now is that it’s the conclusion of the core story. You could not watch it, and leave the story as it is concluded at the end of the series, but you really shouldn’t. This movie is too good to skip, even if it has some notable differences from the series in terms of its general feel and vibe.
You may see the film referred to as episodes 25’ and 26’ (note the apostrophes), or as a replacement ending for the TV series (which also has episodes 25 and 26). Don’t overthink it too much – the film and the end of the series overlap in some ways, which is why the film is structured as two “episodes” that share a number with the final two in the series.
All I’ll say about The End of Evangelion is that you may think after finishing the series that you have been desensitized to the types of things the franchise throws at you. You are wrong. This movie is an even wilder ride than the show, and you are really going to want to take some time to go for a long, meditative walk both before and after it.

I have questions. Lots of questions.

That’s normal. You could watch some of the many “Evangelion explained” videos on YouTube, but I haven’t yet found one that I was really satistfied with. In my opinion, the most rewarding way to get your questions answered is to interact with other Evangelion fans and get their perspective on what it’s all about and exactly what happened. Again, feel free to DM me for this purpose! The Evangelion subreddit is a great community and will be more than happy to share their thoughts with you.
Like many stories, the “correct” interpretation of it is the one that means the most to you. I have my own specific interpretation that works for me, and that may diverge from many other fans’, but that’s okay! Hideako Anno himself would be delighted at all the different meanings that various fans have taken away with them and held onto tightly.

What’s this Death and Rebirth movie? Didn’t it come out before The End of Evangelion?

Skip it. Yes, it did come out between the series and The End of Evangelion, but you don’t need to watch it. It’s a recap of the series, plus an early edit of the first third of The End of Evangelion. You will not miss anything by skipping it (provided you saw the director’s cuts of episodes 21-24). Death(true) and Death(true)2 are re-edits of the recap part of Death and Rebirth. If you hear about The Revival of Evangelion, it’s simply an edited together version of Death(true)2 and The End of Evangelion.

You said something about a manga series at the beginning there?

Like Star Wars in 1977, Evangelion’s famous debut wasn’t actually its debut. Yoshiyuki Sadamoto released the first issue of a manga also entitled Neon Genesis Evangelion at the very end of 1994, 10 months before the show started! Sadamoto was the character designer for the TV show, and as a result, the art in the manga is extremely consistent. He nails it in every chapter.
Incredibly, it took Sadamoto almost 19 years to finish the series, which exists in a separate continuity to the show. Certain plot points play out very differently, and the characterization differs in many places, but the overall story arc is the one we know and love from the anime.
I highly recommend the manga to fans of the show, despite it telling a very similar story. You’ll appreciate it best if you’ve taken a bit of a break between the anime before starting the manga.
There are 13 volumes of the manga, and they’re fairly easy to come by. The easiest way to read them is by picking up the omnibus editions which have multiple volumes within each. There are five omnibuses collecting the entire series.

I swear there are way more movies than what you’ve mentioned so far.

Uh, yeah. We’ll get to those. First of all, let’s wrap up some of the other Evangelion-related media that’s out there:
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Angelic Days is a spinoff manga set in an alternate continuity. It has shades of the core Evangelion story but with a romantic shoujo twist. Six volumes were released between 2003 and 2005.
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Shinji Ikari Riasing Project is another spinoff manga set in another alternate continuity. It’s very different to the core Evangelion story and has much more comedy and fanservice. 18 volumes were released between 2005 and 2016.
Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse (aka Neon Genesis Evangelion Academy: Record of Heaven's Descent in Japanese) is yet another spinoff manga in another alternate continuity, this time with a high school mystery premise. Three volumes were released in 2007.
Petit Eva: [email protected] is a chibi-style parody manga, plus a series of animated shorts, where everyone gets up to wacky hijinks completely unconnected to any of the other continuities. If you are desperately searching this out, you may have taken your Evangelion obsession a bit too far.
There are quite a few video games that are part of the series, but most were only released in Japan and aren’t considered canon. The exception is Neon Genesis Evangelion 2, originally released for the Playstation 2 in 2003 in Japan only. As a reward for completing each scenario, the player is given access to increasingly-detailed information on various Evangelion topics (Called the “Classified Information”). The complete Classified Information includes a lot of information not found anywhere else in the series, and what’s more, it seems to be aligned with the original anime’s continuity. Many of the “Evangelion Explained” videos you’ll see will heavily rely on this information. It’s debated whether it’s truly “canon” or not, but apparently Hideako Anno was involved in the writing. In my opinion, the Classified Information makes enough sense that I do consider it canon, and if you’re itching for answers after finishing the core story, you should look it up – English translations are easy to find.
There are a bunch of one-off publications of dubious canonicity that you may wish to look up, and heaps of art books and other behind-the-scenes material, much of it only in Japanese.
The merchandise situation is… Out of control. You will struggle to name a product that has not had an Evangelion-themed version of it produced at some point.

Okay, can we talk about these other movies now?

The Rebuild of Evangelion is a series of four full-length theatrical films set in a new Evangelion continuity.
If you want to be absolutely in the dark about what to expect from these movies, you should skip this section. Although I won’t give away any story spoilers, I will hint at a little about what these movies “feel” like.
The Rebuild films are infamous for a number of reasons:
  1. The first film was released in 2007, and the second was supposed to come out later that year, and the third and fourth were supposed to be released together in 2008. The second film didn’t come out until 2009, the third not until 2012, and the fourth… No release date as of 2020. Yeah.
  2. They’re not made by Gainax, but by a new studio called Khara. Hideako Anno is still director though. I think Khara do a great job, but not all fans are fans.
  3. Anno pitched the series as a kind of “re-make” of the original TV series in theatrical form, but with the benefit of more than a decade’s worth of the director’s personal growth and a very healthy animation budget. It was suggested that the characters and story would be re-tooled for a modern audience, and that the whole thing would be more accessible and coherent than the original continuity. That... was a lie.
  4. Are the films really a new continuity? Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you choose to obliviously bring this topic up around passionate fans.
Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone was released in 2007 and follows the first arc of the anime very closely, shot-for-shot for much of it. It’s great to see those scenes animated in glorious HD though.
Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance was released in 2009 and introduces a brand new, Rebuild-exclusive character into the mix. To say it diverges from the original story would be an understatement.
Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo was released in 2012 and should probably require a waiver to be signed before it is viewed.
Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time was supposed to come out in 2020, but the coronavirus caused it to be put on hold indefinitely. The film is apparently complete, but knowing Anno, that doesn’t necessarily mean much. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the film goes through three more titles and a complete re-write before it finally comes out.
Most of the original English and Japanese voice casts returned for the Rebuild films with a few exceptions, and the performances are better than they’ve ever been. The English dub of 3.0 was a bit of a drama, with it initially premiering in 2013 in cinemas, but with no DVD release in sight. Khara apparently sent the dubbing team (Funimation) back to the drawing board. The agonizingly re-worked dub was finally released on DVD in 2016.
The DVD and Blu-ray releases of the films have slightly altered numbering: 1.11, 2.22, 3.33 etc. This reflects that many corrections and additions were included for these releases compared to the versions shown in cinemas.

I can’t really tell if you’re recommending these movies or not…

The Rebuild series is frustrating, perplexing, sometimes rage-inducing, but it’s the true successor to the original core story, with Hideako Anno’s creative vision in full bloom. You need to see these movies if you’re an Evangelion fan. However, you also need to completely re-set your expectations. Don’t stumble into these movies right after the credits roll on The End of Evangelion. You’re going to want to give it some time, get a few life experiences under your belt, and then sit down with a fresh palate to experience this very different iteration of the Evangelion story.

Why do people go on and on about Evangelion? The fans seem kind of rabid sometimes.

If you’ve read this far, you will probably have got the sense that any media franchise that inspires people to write guides like this (and many, many other far more impressive fan contributions) must have some sort of cult-like appeal. That’s pretty much the case for Evangelion, and the fans are pretty notorious for their passion and geekery. That can be said for quite a few franchises, but I think Evangelion is special because it genuinely changes people’s lives.
Hideako Anno has struggled with depression on-and-off throughout his life, and Evangelion is a product of that struggle. Evangelion tries to grapple with the “why am I really here” question in a way that very few other stories have. I still remember the moments after I first finished the series, my heart beating fast, and in the ensuing days I mulled over what it all meant. After a while, and some discussions with other fans, I started to put together my own interpretation. The immense satisfaction and comfort I felt after deciding on the meaning that I wanted to take away stays with me to this day, and the lessons I took from it are ones I still regularly use to navigate my own life.
Ask any Evangelion fan and they’ll have a story similar to this. That’s why they’re so fiercely protective of it. It’s much more than a media franchise – it’s an introduction to a lifelong practice of self-reflection and conscious growth, and that’s not a small thing.
Regardless of what you get out of Evangelion, at the very least I hope you have a blast enjoying it, and becoming part of the huge and wonderful community of Evangelion fans around
------
How did you find this guide? I'd love to hear your feedback. I can think of lots more things I'd love to include in future editions and absolutely intend on expanding it and updating it as new material is released.
The main intended audience for this guide is actually film/TV geeks who may not be anime fans, but have no doubt heard NGE referred to as one of the best - I really want to encourage them to step out of their comfort zone and reap the rewards, so this guide is really trying to cater for them!
For the love of all that is holy, please don't post spoilers in the comments! I really want this to be a valuable resource for those curious about getting into the series.
submitted by Mitch_NZ to evangelion [link] [comments]


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Call of Cthulhu Steam Available
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 Additional Content Blizzard Available
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 Standard Edition Blizzard Available
Call of Duty®: WWII Steam Available
Capitalism 2 Steam Available
Card City Nights Steam Available
Cave Story+ Steam Available
Cave Story+ Steam Available
Chasm Steam Available
Choice Chamber Steam Available
Cities: Skylines + After Dark DLC Steam Available
Civilization VI - Australia Civilization & Scenario Pack Steam Available
Civilization VI - Vikings Scenario Pack Steam Available
Closure Steam Available
Closure Steam Available
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising Origin Key Origin Available
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising Steam Key Steam Available
Company of Heroes™ Steam Available
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy Steam Available
Crayon Physics Deluxe Steam Key Steam Available
Crazy Machines 3 Steam Available
Crimzon Clover WORLD IGNITION Steam Available
CryoFall Steam Available
Crysis 2 Maximum Edition Origin Key Origin Available
Crysis 2 Maximum Edition Steam Key Steam Available
Cultist Simulator Steam Available
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX) Steam Available
CyberGhost VPN (One Year Subscription) CyberGhost Available
DARK SOULS™ III - Ashes of Ariandel™ Steam Available
DARK SOULS™ III Steam Available
Dandara Steam Available
Dark Future: Blood Red States Steam Available
Darkside Detective Steam Available
Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition Steam Available
Dead Island Definitive Edition Steam Available
Dead Rising 2 Steam Available
Dead Rising 4 Steam Available
Dead Space 3 Origin Key Origin Available
Dead Space Origin Key Origin Available
Dead Space Steam Key Steam Available
Dead in Vinland Steam Available
Death's Gambit Steam Available
Desert Child Steam Available
DeskScapes Stardock Available
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Steam Available
Directory Opus 12 Light GPS Software Available
DisplayFusion Steam Available
Distance Steam Available
Do Not Feed the Monkeys Steam Available
Don't Escape: 4 Days to Survive Steam Available
Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen Steam Available
Drawful 2 Steam Available
Driftland: The Magic Revival Steam Available
Dungeon Defenders + All DLC Steam key Steam Available
Dungeons 3 Steam Available
Duskers Steam Available
Dynamite Jack Steam Key Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: BM03 Vegalta Gold Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Depth Crawler Gold Coat Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Gogo. Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Zero Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, Bullet Girls Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, EDF IFPS Markings Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, Natsuiro HS Markings Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gleipnir Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Ifrit Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 1: Time of the Mutants Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 2: Extreme Battle Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack A Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack B Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Reflectron Laser Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Spark Lancer Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Sting Shot Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Volatile Napalm Steam Available
ESO Vanity pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 days of ESO Plus BAM Available
Earthlock Steam Available
Eliza Steam Available
Else Heart.Break() Steam Available
Else Heart.Break() Steam Available
Emily is Away Too Steam Available
Evergarden Steam Available
Evoland 2 Steam Available
Evoland 2 Steam Available
F1 2019 Anniversary Edition Steam Available
FRONTIERS Steam Available
FaceRig Classic Steam Available
FaceRig Pro Steam Available
Felix the Reaper Steam Available
Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark Steam Available
Fences Stardock Available
Fight'N Rage Steam Available
Figment Steam Available
Finding Paradise Steam Available
Fish Fillets 2 Steam Available
Fluffy Horde Steam Available
Forts Steam Available
Frostpunk Steam Available
Frostpunk: The Rifts DLC Steam Available
Full Metal Furies Steam Available
Furi Steam Available
GIGANTIC ARMY Steam Available
GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst Steam Available
GRID Ultimate Edition Steam Available
GRiS Steam Available
Game Character Hub Steam Available
Game Guru Steam Available
Game Guru: Buildings Pack Steam Available
Game Guru: Death Valley Pack Steam Available
Game Guru: Fantasy Pack Steam Available
Game Guru: Mega Pack 1 Steam Available
Game Guru: Megapack 2 Steam Available
Game Guru: Megapack 3 Steam Available
Gemini Rue Steam Available
Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition Steam Available
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy Steam Available
Ghost Recon Phantoms E3 Avatar Uplay Available
Ghost Recon Phantoms Starter Pack Uplay Available
Goats On A Bridge Steam Available
God's Trigger Steam Available
Gods Will Be Watching Steam Available
Gremlins, Inc. Steam Available
Guacamelee! 2 Steam Available
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON Steam Available
HIVESWAP: Act 1 Steam Available
Hacknet Steam Available
Hard Reset Redux Steam Available
Hard West Steam Available
Hearts of Iron IV Steam Available
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice (refeature) Steam Available
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice Steam Available
Hello Neighbor Hide and Seek Steam Available
Hello Neighbor Steam Available
Hero Academy Gold Pack Content Code Hero Academy Gold Pack Content Code Available
Hero Academy Steam Available
Hidden Folks Steam Available
Hitman 2 Steam Available
HoPiKo Steam Available
Hollow Knight Steam Available
Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?! Steam Available
Homeworld Remastered Collection Steam Available
Horizon Chase Turbo Steam Available
Husk Steam Available
I'm not a Monster Steam Available
Ice Lakes Steam Available
Immortal Redneck Steam Available
Indie Game: The Movie Steam Key Steam Available
Indie Game: The Movie Steam Key Steam Available
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition Steam Available
Jack Lumber Steam Available
Jalopy Steam Available
Jotun Steam Available
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition Steam Available
Kathy Rain Steam Available
Kerbal Space Program Steam Available
Kholat Steam Available
Kholat Steam Available
Kholat Steam Available
Kimmy Steam Available
Kingdom Come: Deliverance Steam Available
Labyrinthine Dreams Steam Available
Lara Croft GO Steam Available
Laser League Steam Available
Last Day of June Steam Available
Last Word Steam Available
LastPass Premium (One Year Subscription) LogMeIn Available
Late Shift Steam Available
Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5) Steam Available
Little Big Workshop Steam Available
Little Inferno Steam Available
Little Nightmares Steam Available
Lost Castle Steam Available
Love is Dead Steam Available
Low Light Combat Low Light Combat Available
Low Light Combat Low Light Combat Available
MAGIX Photo Manager Deluxe Magix Available
MAGIX Photostory Deluxe Bonus Content Magix Available
MAGIX Photostory Deluxe Magix Available
MAGIX Video Sound Cleaning Lab Magix Available
MAGIX Vintage Effects Suite Magix Available
METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES Steam Available
METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN Steam Available
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC Steam Available
MINIT Steam Available
MOLEK-SYNTEZ Steam Available
MOTHERGUNSHIP Steam Available
Mafia III Steam Available
Mafia III: Sign of the Times Steam Available
Magicka Wizard Wars Exclusive Staff and Blade Steam Available
Medal of Honor Origin Key Origin Available
Medal of Honor Steam Key Steam Available
Mega Man Legacy Collection Steam Available
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition Steam Available
Metal Unit Steam Available
Minion Masters Steam Available
Mirror's Edge Origin Key Origin Available
Mirror's Edge Steam Key Steam Available
Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae Steam Available
Monster Prom Steam Available
Monstercat Twitch License Monstercat Available
Moon Hunters Steam Available
Moonlighter Steam Available
Mordheim City of the Damned Steam Available
Mother Russia Bleeds Steam Available
Mr. Shifty Steam Available
Music Maker 80s Edition Magix Available
Music Maker Hip Hop Beat Producer Magix Available
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden Steam Available
My Friend Pedro Steam Available
My Time at Portia Steam Available
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin Steam Available
NBA Playgrounds Steam Available
Neon Chrome Steam Available
NeuroVoider Steam Available
Night Call Steam Available
Nightsky Steam Key Steam Available
Northgard Steam Available
Offspring Fling Steam Available
Offspring Fling Steam Available
Okami HD Steam Available
Okhlos Steam Available
Old Man's Journey Steam Available
One Way Heroics Steam Available
Opus Magnum Steam Available
Original War Steam Available
Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You Steam Available
Outlast 2 Steam Available
Overgrowth Secret Preorder Forum (SPF) access Overgrowth Preorder Forum access Available
Overgrowth Steam Available
Override: Mech City Brawl Steam Available
Owlboy Steam Available
PAYDAY 2 Electarodent and Titan Masks Steam Available
Paradigm Steam Available
Paratopic Steam Available
Pathfinder Kingmaker Explorer Edition Steam Available
Phantom Doctrine Steam Available
Pirate Pop Plus Steam Available
PixelJunk Shooter Steam Available
Planet Alpha Steam Available
PlayCanvas + TANX PlayCanvas Available
Pool Panic Steam Available
Populous Origin Key Origin Available
Portal Knights Steam Available
Project CARS 2 Steam Available
Project CARS Steam Available
Project Highrise Steam Available
Project Warlock Steam Available
Psychonauts Steam Available
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator Steam Available
Puss! Steam Available
Q.U.B.E. 2 Steam Available
Quake Champions Early Access plus 50 Shards, 100 Platinum, 2000 Favor Steam Available
Quantum Break Steam Available
Quiplash Steam Available
RPG Maker: Luna Engine Steam Available
RPG Maker: VX Ace Deluxe Steam Available
RUINER Steam Available
Raiden V: Director’s Cut Steam Available
Railway Empire Steam Available
Rapture Rejects - Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC Steam Available
Rapture Rejects Steam Available
Rebel Galaxy Steam Available
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered Steam Available
Regions of Ruin Steam Available
Regular Human Basketball Steam Available
Remnants of Isolation Steam Available
Remnants of Naezith Steam Available
Renowned Explorers: International Society Steam Available
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition Steam Available
Resident Evil Revelations Steam Available
Rise of the Tomb Raider Steam Available
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs Steam Available
Road Redemption Steam Available
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder™ Steam Available
Running with Rifles Steam Available
Rust (Early Access) Steam Available
Rust (Early Access) Steam Available
Rust (Early Access) Steam Available
Rust (Early Access) Steam Available
Rust (Early Access) Steam Available
Ryse: Son of Rome Steam Available
SHENZHEN I/O Steam Available
SMITE Loki Pack Smite Available
SMITE Xbox One Closed Beta Smite Available
SOULCALIBUR VI Steam Available
SPINTIRES™ Steam Available
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising Steam Available
Savage Lands (Early Access) Steam Available
Savage Lands (Early Access) Steam Available
Savage Lands (Early Access) Steam Available
Scanner Sombre Steam Available
Scrolls Full Version Scrolls Available
Seasons After Fall Steam Available
Serial Cleaner Steam Available
Seven: The Days Long Gone Steam Available
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun Steam Available
Shadow of the Tomb Raider Steam Available
Shadowrun: Hong Kong - Extended Edition Steam Available
Shadowrun: Hong Kong - Extended Edition Steam Available
Shank 2 Steam Available
Shank 2 Steam Available
She Remembered Caterpillars Steam Available
Shelter 2 Steam Available
Shelter 2 Steam Available
Shelter 2 Steam Available
Shenmue I & II Steam Available
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom Steam Available
Sid Meier's Civilization® VI Steam Available
Sigma Theory Steam Available
Silence Steam Available
Slay the Spire Steam Available
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition Steam Available
Slime Rancher Steam Available
Slipstream Steam Available
Snake Pass Steam Available
Snapshot Steam Key Steam Available
Snapshot Steam Key Steam Available
Sniper Elite 3 Steam Available
Sniper Elite 4 Steam Available
Sniper Elite V2 Steam Available
Sniper Elite Steam Available
SolForge — Dinosaur Starter (Early Access) Steam Available
Solar 2 Steam Key Steam Available
Solar 2 Steam Available
Sonic Mania Steam Available
Soundpool: Stranger Synths Magix Available
Space Engineers (Early Access) Steam Available
Space Engineers (Early Access) Steam Available
Space Engineers (Early Access) Steam Available
Splasher Steam Available
Splice Steam Key Steam Available
Sprite Lamp Steam Available
Spriter Pro Steam Available
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy Steam Available
Squad (Early Access) Steam Available
Star Realms Full Version Star Realms Available
Stardew Valley Steam Available
State of Mind Steam Available
Staxel Steam Available
Steamworld Heist Steam Available
Steel Rats Steam Available
Stencyl: Indie Edition 1-Year License Stencyl Available
Stronghold Crusader 2 Steam Available
Stronghold Crusader 2 Steam Available
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones Steam Available
Styx: Master of Shadows Steam Available
Subterrain Steam Available
Sundered Steam Available
Super Daryl Deluxe Steam Available
Super Hexagon Steam Available
Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP Steam Key Steam Available
Surviving Mars Steam Available
Sword Legacy Omen Steam Available
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon Steam Available
Tacoma Steam Available
Take On Helicopters Steam Available
Tales of Berseria™ Steam Available
Talisman Prologue Steam Available
Talisman: Digital Edition Steam Available
Talisman: Digital Edition: Gambler Character Packs Steam Available
Talisman: Digital Edition: Martyr Character Packs Steam Available
Tannenberg Steam Available
Tharsis Steam Available
Tharsis Steam Available
Tharsis Steam Available
The Adventure Pals Steam Available
The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut Steam Available
The Bard's Tale Steam Available
The Basement Collection Steam Available
The Basement Collection Steam Available
The Binding of Isaac + Wrath of the Lamb DLC Steam Available
The Binding of Isaac + Wrath of the Lamb DLC Steam Available
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters Steam Available
The Dwarves Steam Available
The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited Steam Available
The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls Bethesda Available
The Escapists - Alcatraz Steam Available
The Escapists - Base Game Steam Available
The Escapists - Duct Tapes are Forever Steam Available
The Escapists - Escape Team Steam Available
The Escapists - Fhurst Peak Steam Available
The Flame in the Flood Steam Available
The Journey Down: Chapter Three Steam Available
The King's Bird Steam Available
The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky Steam Available
The Long Dark Steam Available
The Messenger Steam Available
The Norwood Suite Steam Available
The Shrouded Isle Steam Available
The Sims 3 Date Night Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 High End Loft Stuff Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 Late Night Key Origin Available
The Spiral Scouts Steam Available
The Stillness of the Wind Steam Available
This is the Police 2 Steam Available
Through the Darkest of Times Steam Available
Titan Quest: Anniversary Edition + Titan Quest: Ragnarok DLC Steam Available
Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival Uplay Available
Tom Clancy's The Division™ Uplay Available
Tomb Raider Steam Available
Tower Unite Steam Available
Train Valley 2 Steam Available
Trüberbrook Steam Available
Twitch Turbo Twitch Available
UFO: Afterlight Steam Available
Underhero Steam Available
Unholy Heights Steam Available
VEGAS Pro 14 Edit Magix Available
Vampyr Steam Available
Verlet Swing Steam Available
Victor Vran Steam Available
Victor Vran Steam Available
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard Steam Available
Wandersong Steam Available
Warframe 7-day Credit and Affinity Booster Packs Warframe Available
Wargame: Red Dragon Steam Available
Wargroove Steam Available
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III Steam Available
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus Steam Available
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide Schluesselschloss DLC Steam Available
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide The Outsider DLC Steam Available
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide Steam Available
Warhammer: Vermintide 2 - Collector's Edition Steam Available
Warstone TD Steam Available
We Were Here Together Steam Available
We Were Here Too Steam Available
Western Press Mk Cans II Character DLC Steam Available
Western Press Steam Available
Whisper Of A Rose Steam Available
WildStar Standard Edition ArenaNet Available
Wizard of Legend Steam Available
World of Tanks Invite Code Wargaming keys Available
World of Warships Bonus Content Wargaming keys Available
World of Warships Closed Beta Key Wargaming keys Available
World to the West Steam Available
X-Morph Defense Steam Available
XCOM® 2 Steam Available
XSplit Premium 3-Month License XSplit Available
Xara Photo & Graphic Designer Magix Available
Xara Web Designer Premium Magix Available
Yakuza 0 Steam Available
Yakuza Kiwami Steam Available
Yoku's Island Express Steam Available
Ys Origin Steam Available
Yuppie Psycho Steam Available
Zombie Army Trilogy Steam Available
Zombie Night Terror Steam Available
Some games may be gone already. I'll have to update.
submitted by Cruxall to GameTrade [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 01:39 goodbusiness [H] A big ol’ list of Humble Bundle leftovers [W] Wishlist / Offers / Paypal

My SGSFlair
My SteamRep

GAMES I HAVE, ORGANIZED BY BUNDLE

Probably best to CTRL+F if you want to search for a specific title.
AS PER RECENT GUIDELINES, ALL GIFT CODES ARE NOW ONLY AVAILABLE AS KEYS
TITLE BUNDLE PLATFORM LINK OR KEY
Freedom Force 2K Bundle Steam Key
Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich 2K Bundle Steam Key
Railroad Tycoon 3 2K Bundle Steam Key
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified 2K Bundle Steam Key
The Darkness II 2K Bundle Steam Key
The Darkness II 2K Bundle Steam Key
Nongünz August 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Wuppo August 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Beware Planet Earth! BANDAI NAMCO Bundle Steam Key
DeadCore BANDAI NAMCO Bundle Steam Key
Platformines BANDAI NAMCO Bundle Steam Key
Bionic Commando: Rearmed Capcom Super Turbo HD Remix ReBundle Steam Key
STRIDER Capcom Super Turbo HD Remix ReBundle Steam Key
A Fistful of Gun Devolver Bundle Steam Key
Gods Will Be Watching Devolver Bundle Steam Key
Shadow Warrior: Special Edition Devolver Bundle Steam Key
Hacknet Down Under Bundle Steam Key
Hacknet Labyrinths DLC Down Under Bundle Steam Key
Satellite Reign Down Under Bundle Steam Key
Screencheat Down Under Bundle Steam Key
The Warlock of Firetop Mountain Down Under Bundle Steam Key
Cities in Motion 2 E3 2015 Digital Ticket Steam Key
Grey Goo Definitive Edition E3 2016 Digital Ticket Steam Key
Mountain E3 2016 Digital Ticket Steam Key
Husk February 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Okhlos February 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Black the Fall February 2018 Monthly Steam Key
The Norwood Suite February 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Potatoman Seeks the Troof Flash Bundle: Extra Life Steam Key
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK Classic Pack Flash Bundle: Extra Life Steam Key
7 Grand Steps Freedom Bundle Steam Key
A Virus Named Tom Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Ballistick Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Beat Hazard Ultra Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Chroma Squad Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Dangerous High School Girls in Trouble Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Double Fine Adventure Documentary Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Dusty Revenge: Co-Op Edition Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Ellipsis Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Girls Like Robots Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Guacamelee! Gold Edition Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Guns of Icarus Online Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora Deluxe Freedom Bundle Steam Key
JumpJet Rex Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Luna's Wandering Stars Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Mini Metro Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Monster Loves You Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Mushroom 11 Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Ninja Pizza Girl Freedom Bundle Steam Key
No Time to Explain Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Potatoman Seeks the Troof Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Retro Game Crunch Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Rituals Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Rocket Birds: Hardboiled Chicken Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Secrets of Raetikon Freedom Bundle Steam Key
shutshimi Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Spirits Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Sproggiwood Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Team Indie Freedom Bundle Steam Key
The Swapper Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Thirty Flights of Loving Freedom Bundle Steam Key
TIMEframe Freedom Bundle Steam Key
VVVVVV Freedom Bundle Steam Key
World of Goo Freedom Bundle Steam Key
Slayaway Camp Gems Bundle 2 Steam Key
Tattletail Gems Bundle 2 Steam Key
The Count Lucanor Gems Bundle 2 Steam Key
Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet Indie Bundle 13 Steam Key
OlliOlli Indie Bundle 13 Steam Key
Tales From Space: Mutant Blobs Attack Indie Bundle 13 Steam Key
The Novelist Indie Bundle 13 Steam Key
A Story About My Uncle Indie Bundle 18 Steam Key
Beholder Indie Bundle 18 Steam Key
Steamworld Heist Indie Bundle 18 Steam Key
Windward Indie Bundle 18 Steam Key
Action Henk Indie Bundle 19 Steam Key
Mini Metro Indie Bundle 19 Steam Key
Poly Bridge Indie Bundle 19 Steam Key
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX) January 2018 Monthly Steam Key
HIVESWAP: Act 1 January 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Mr. Shifty January 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Keroblaster July 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Simple Planes July 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan Jumbo Bundle 8 Steam Key
Legends of Eisenwald Jumbo Bundle 8 Steam Key
The Interactive Adventures of Dog Mendonça and Pizza Boy Jumbo Bundle 8 Steam Key
Valhalla Hills Jumbo Bundle 8 Steam Key
Void Destroyer Jumbo Bundle 8 Steam Key
Epistory - Typing Chronicles Jumbo Bundle 10 Steam Key
Grey Goo Definitive Edition Jumbo Bundle 10 Steam Key
How to Survive 2 Jumbo Bundle 10 Steam Key
The Bard's Tale Jumbo Bundle 10 Steam Key
Tormentor X Punisher Jumbo Bundle 10 Steam Key
Always Sometimes Monsters Jumbo Bundle 3 Steam Key
Half Minute Hero: Super Mega Neo Climax Ultimate Boy Jumbo Bundle 3 Steam Key
KickBeat Steam Edition Jumbo Bundle 3 Steam Key
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure Jumbo Bundle 3 Steam Key
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation June 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Brigador: Up-Armored Edition June 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Maize June 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Shoppe Keep June 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Tiny Echo June 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Flat Heroes March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Morphblade March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Poly Bridge March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Space Run Galaxy March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Uurnog Uurnlimited March 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Aviary Attorney March 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?! March 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Splasher March 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Crazy Machines 3 May 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Moon Hunters May 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You October 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Scanner Sombre October 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Seasons After Fall October 2017 Monthly Steam Key
The Shrouded Isle October 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Burnout Paradise: The Ultimate Box Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Crysis 2 Maximum Edition Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Dead Space Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Medal of Honor Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Mirror's Edge Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Populous Origin Bundle (1) Origin Key
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising Origin Bundle (2) Origin Key
Crysis 2 Maximum Edition Origin Bundle (2) Origin Key
Dead Space Origin Bundle (2) Origin Key
Medal of Honor Origin Bundle (2) Origin Key
Populous Origin Bundle (2) Origin Key
Bit Blaster XL Overwhelmingly Positive Bundle Steam Key
Epic Battle Fantasy 4 Overwhelmingly Positive Bundle Steam Key
Pony Island Overwhelmingly Positive Bundle Steam Key
Refunct Overwhelmingly Positive Bundle Steam Key
Magicka Paradox Bundle Steam Key
War of the Roses: Kingmaker Paradox Bundle Steam Key
Eterium September 2017 Monthly Steam Key
HackyZack September 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Stories Untold September 2017 Monthly Steam Key
Dead Age Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
DreadOut Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
DreadOut Soundtrack & Manga DLC Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
DreadOut: Keepers of The Dark Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
Five Nights at Freddy’s: Sister Location Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
Lakeview Cabin Collection Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition Spooky Horror Bundle Steam Key
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered Staff Picks: Glen Steam Key
Knight Squad Staff Picks: Glen Steam Key
Dungeons 2 Staff Picks: Nick Steam Key
The Secret World Staff Picks: Nick Steam Key
TIS-100 Staff Picks: Nick Steam Key
Tharsis Survive This Bundle Steam Key
Divide By Sheep tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
GoNNER - Press Jump To Die Edition tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
Metrico+ tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
No Time To Explain Remastered tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
Road to Ballhalla tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
Super Rude Bear Resurrection tinyBuild Bundle Steam Key
RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry Very Positive Bundle 2 Steam Key
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY WB Games Bundle Steam Key
Batman™: Arkham Origins DLC WB Games Bundle Steam Key
Ancient Planet Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Auto Age: Standoff Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Back to Bed Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Battle Riders Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Bezier Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Black Storm Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Bomb Defence Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Chainsaw Warrior Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Chime Sharp Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Chronology Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
ClusterPuck 99 Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Cosmonautica Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Deep Dungeons of Doom Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Defend Your Life: TD Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Dimension Jump Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Distrust Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Dreaming Sarah Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
F.E.X (Forced Evolution Experiment) Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Filthy, Stinking, Orcs Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
FreeCell Quest Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Guns of Icarus Alliance Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Gurgamoth Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Headlander Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Intelligent Design: An Evolutionary Sandbox Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Lion Quest Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
LostWinds Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Master Spy Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Mimic Arena Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Mirage: Arcane Warfare Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Offensive Combat: Redux! Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
On Rusty Trails Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Painters Guild Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Psychonauts Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Q.U.B.E: Director's Cut Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Sanctum 2 Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Scanner Sombre Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Scrap Garden Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Spectrum Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
SuperLuminauts Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Team Racing League Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Teslagrad Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
The Fall Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
The Inner World Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Tiltagon Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Train Valley Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Wasted Pizza Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Zero Reflex: Black Eye Edition Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 Steam Key
Kona August 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Forged Batallion August 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Pathologic Classic HD August 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Battle Chef Brigade September 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Zombie Night Terror September 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Figment September 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Mega Man Legacy Collection December 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Immortal Redneck December 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator December 2018 Monthly Steam Key
NeuroVoider December 2018 Monthly Steam Key
Rapture Rejects February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Full Metal Furies February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Aaero February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Bleed 2 February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Super Daryl Deluxe February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Tom Clancy's The Division + Survival DLC February 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Wandersong May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Finding Paradise May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Monster Prom May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
The Journey Down: Chapter Three May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Do Not Feed the Monkeys May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
I’m Not a Monster May 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Assassin’s Creed: Origins May 2019 Monthly Uplay Key
Moonlighter July 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Road Redemption July 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Love is Dead July 2019 Monthly Steam Key
60 Parsecs! July 2019 Monthly Steam Key
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin July 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Evergarden November 2019 Monthly Steam Key
11-11 Memories Retold November 2019 Monthly Steam Key
Animal Super Squad Yogscast Jingle Jam 2019 Steam Key
GUILTY GEAR Xrd REV 2 Yogscast Jingle Jam 2019 Steam Key
Two Point Hospital DLC Yogscast Jingle Jam 2019 Steam Key
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WISHLIST

I am also cool with offers.
TITLE
Code Vein
Cyberpunk 2077
Disco Elysium
Greedfall
Nier: Automata
Rimworld
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
Star Wars Jedi: The Fallen Order
EDIT: List updated. Some titles have been claimed.
submitted by goodbusiness to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 13:02 Sooperdude24 Unleashed pt. 36

Despite a busy schedule u/eruwenn kindly helped me be twice as productive this week, teamwork pays off. Bonus chapter!
First / Prev / Next
Aaron sat in the open air-lock on the Porkchop Express, looking out over the treetops of Eden from his perch high above the park wall. He picked up the datapad and flicked to a screen with a map and six red dots, one of which had the name Tony floating next to it. Jolie, another red dot, was nearby - she was the third leokas that had grown healthy enough to be released into Eden. After Tony had shared his kill with her, she had stuck close to him. Aaron was glad his friend had bought his date dinner first.
He was so engrossed he didn’t notice Alexa approaching until she kicked him. “We’re leaving soon.”
“Ow!” He exaggerated. “And, I know. I was just trying to spot him. Ya’know, one last time. In case he needed some biscuits or something.”
Alexa slid her back down the wall to sit beside her human, wrapping her arm around his. As her head rested comfortingly against his shoulder, she reached out with her other arm to enlarge the map. The dots of Tony and Jolie were now side by side. "You saved his life. You found him a home, and gave him his freedom. He even has a mate. You've done enough, Aaron. He is the richest leokas in the world, his merch selling on practically every planet in the Federation, and he even has a breakfast cereal with his likeness on it”
“It’s grrrrreat.” Aaron laughed half-heartedly at his own joke.
“It has entirely too much sugar in it,“ she scolded him gently. “But, the toys were a nice touch.” She snuggled into him, enjoying a rare moment when he wasn’t being chased by a member of the crew with business issues. She savoured their privacy, remembering the first few cycles with just the three of them in the animal pens onboard the Azrimad. “One day, you, Sassie, Aiov and I should come back and visit Tony. Just the four of us.”
Aaron choked up a little, realising that Aiov would eventually be another goodbye. “She has a spot reserved in Eden, once she’s grown up.”
The door to the Overlook opened and Daynd came stomping towards them. “Will you two get back in the Tulseria damned ship! I need to re-check all of these seals, since you keep using the airlock as your personal viewing platform.” He waited for them to stand, tapping the metal tool in his hand against his leg. “Hurry up, Pilot, pre-flight checks are your job as well.”
Managing to make her salute as sarcastic as possible, she led Aaron by the hand back into the ship. “He’s grumpier than usual. It's been a few celes since he was on a planet for such a long stretch... I think he likes it here.”
The human sympathised; the ship would feel pretty small after Kasur, and a little emptier without the guest in the cargo hold. As he thought about it, another member of the crew had seemed rather absent lately. “How’s Norrin?”
Alexa shrugged. "In his barrel." Her herald had been struggling to maintain his solid form, so Aaron had put a barrel in his room. It had seemed like a dumb idea at the outset, but allowing Norrin to spend time as a semi-liquid had indeed helped to slow his deterioration.
“And you?” Aaron wasn't sure whether he feared asking the question or receiving the answer more.
She released his hand and poked his undefended stomach. “I can still kick your ass if you keep looking at me with those sad eyes. Don't worry," she added, reaching up to mess with Aaron's hair, "we can get what we need on the world we were found on. There are Inorganics there who can help.”
Aaron huffed, reaching up to try to re-tame his hair by flattening it down. Kasur didn't have barbers, as fur needed no cutting, and after a long period of wearing him down Chae'Sol had finally managed to convince him to sit for a haircut. Upon seeing the results of the Niham’'s efforts, Alexa had then made an attempt to fix Chae'Sol's fix. After that, it had been up to Aaron to fix the fixed fix, using a pair of scissors as well as an animal clipper to try to sort out the back and sides. In the end, it was a haircut, but not a good one. Without careful styling, it looked like he was a cast member in Dumb and Dumber. "Good," he replied after a last press-down on his unruly locks. "Having one crew member in a barrel is quite enough.”
Upon entering the Bridge, they found Embar and Chae'Sol waiting, already running their tests. Sassie was present as well, asleep on her back in the captains chair. Aiov was also sleeping in a legs-in-the-air pose, nestled in her small, open-topped box under the seat. Aaron tried to reclaim the captain's chair for himself, but though he tried to squeeze himself onto the seat beside his dog, the German Shepherd didn't budge.
The Niham navigator passed a datapad to Alexa. “Your checks are done.” As she nodded her thanks, he turned back to watch the power struggle unfold. “Just let her have the seat. She spends more time in it than you.”
The human frowned. “There’s space for both of us if she just moved over.” After another shove, Sassie grunted and finally allowed the human to slide her rump around. Tail swishing, she licked his face as he leaned over her, and he scratched her tummy as he sat down beside her. He wiped his face on his sleeve and tapped the screens in front of him. Danyd’s checks, he noted, were also complete. “Set a course for…” He paused, looking to Alexa. “What is your world called again?”
Alexa shook her head. “It isn’t our world, it’s just where we were found, and it has a twenty seven digit alpha-numeric designation given by the research team.”
“Eurgh. Screw that.” He raised a hand stopping her from reeling off the forgettable digits and paused to consider his options. “Set a course for planet Alpha-Numeric Designation!”
Alexa turned her seat away from him. “We have to take off first, idiot.”
“Fine! Just get on with it.” He stood up. Being the captain was a lot less fun than he had hoped. “Sassie, you have the bridge. I’ve got a call to make.”
After Aaron made his defeated exit, Alexa opened comms to the Kasurian flight controllers.
At the same time, Chae’Sol brought his Navigation console to life and checked over his calculations. “Are you nervous?” he asked the Inorganic.
“Nervous?” She looked at the controls. “No. I am an excellent pilot.”
The Niham and Rinoxian laughed together. Embar’s deep voice replied, “Not the flying. Are you nervous about taking your human home to meet mom and dad?”
“Not at all,” she lied swiftly. “And, we don’t have parents. Anyway, it’s a barren world with only a select group of my people manning a small facility. What could he possibly do?”
“True, true.” Chae’Sol rubbed his chin. “But what about your people? Before you made Norrin your herald, didn’t he want to kill you?”
Embar tapped the pistol on his hip. “We’re prepared for that eventuality.”
She couldn’t help but smile at the protectiveness of the large Rinoxian general. “Thank you, Embar. And Norrin didn’t want to kill me. He wanted to remove the parts of me that make me me; my individuality. Hopefully, we can discuss things calmly with the others of my kind.”
The navigator folded his arms across his chest. “Hopefully. However, Ranjaz is taking bets on how many we kill, and whether or not we start a war.” The silver-haired girl scrunched up her nose, focusing on her piloting so she could appear to be ignoring the Niham as he continued, “I put credits on three, and no war.”
Down the corridor and through the Overlook, Aaron closed the door to his workspace and took a seat. He propped his datapad up against some prototype cereal boxes and sent a notification to the councillor that he was available when she was.
The response was almost immediate and he tapped the datapad screen to see the councillor at her desk as always, the fish tank behind her an ever-present distraction for him. The Anatidae bowed her head in greeting. “Ambassador Cooper, thank you for making time to speak with me.”
Aaron was slightly thrown by the more formal than usual greeting, but bowed his head as he responded in kind. “I always have time for a Councillor of the Galactic Federation.”
She smiled; he had followed her cue perfectly. “Thank you, I will make this brief as I’m sure you have other matters to attend to. I understand you are preparing a selection of Earth’s media for release? I look forward to learning more about your home world.”
The human nodded. He knew that the Councillor had access to Earth’s media already. In fact, she had been the one to provide him with the data. Something wasn’t right, but he replied carefully, hoping to connect the dots as they spoke. “We have chosen a varied selection, and hopefully there will be something to your taste. I would be most interested in hearing feedback from you, should you look through the options. It would help us immensely as we prepare the next selection.”
Eruwenn continued smiling and nodding; another show for the Sentinels. “My work keeps me quite busy, but I will send you what feedback I can. Now then, down to the business at hand. We are finalising the renaming process before we update the records across the Galactic Federation. As you know, we can not stop you calling your worlds whatever you please, but for us to update the central databases it would be beneficial to have some more information, especially regarding some of the naming conventions used. For instance, you wish to rename the star Optimus Prime?”
Aaron tried not to smile. “A great hero from Earth’s mythology, he died for us and rose again. He was a great leader who believed that freedom was the right of all sentient beings.”
“Very noble.” She took a note, it seemed the human was playing along nicely. “And the first world and the accompanying moon?”
The human leaned back in his seat, putting his hands behind his head. “A childhood friend who would always come first. I named the planet Konrahd after him, and the moon is Talon X which was his online name in Gran Turismo.”
Tapping away, the Anatidae didn’t look up from her datapad. “Ah, of course. The human obsession with coming first. Please continue.”
“Sure.” Aaron leaned forward, reaching under the table to where Danyd had installed a small fridge. He took out a can and opened it loudly. “The second planet has been defaced by a meteor impact, all smashed up with an exposed and dead core. We’re calling it Alderaan, after a destroyed world in our pop culture. The two moons took quite a lot of damage as well. The lumpy one is Freak and the one with the big slash across the surface is Scar. No special meaning, one’s a bit freaky and the other has a scar, makes it easy to remember.”
“And the third planet?”
“New Terra.” He drank deeply and then stifled a burp, the development team had definitely put too much gas in this mix. “Nothing clever in the name, but it has potential. The moon is Elune, named after a lunar goddess. You’ll know more about it once we release the vanilla game.”
She looked up, narrowing her eyes. “It’s a marketing stunt for a game release?”
“An homage,” he corrected, although he already had a team working on merch and a possible theme park, with a whole line of cosplay accessories being planned.
The councillor didn't believe him for a second, and on some level was shocked he had not yet named a world Buy A Cupcake. “And that brings us to” -how she loathed this name- “Earth Two Electric Boogaloo, and I really must ask again. Why?”
He laughed, poker face slipping at her obvious discomfort. “Human joke, we add the suffix Electric Boogaloo to unwanted sequels. Plus, it really irritates Alexa.”
Eruwenn realised now why the former inspector clicked his pen so often. She would have appreciated a tactile release right now. “Perhaps she should have had more influence over the names. And the moon, El-ahrairah? Am I pronouncing that correctly?”
“Good enough. It’s named for the Prince with a thousand enemies.” His jovial tone vanished; Aaron knew what would happen to the rabbits if they began to colonise E.T.E.B. “Read the book, or watch the movie. Next.”
With that avenue of questioning closed down she moved on, marking her notes Royalty for the record. She was now quite curious as to which book he was referring to. Clearly it was an emotionally charged subject. “Next is Gaia? And the moons Lakshmi, Kratos and Milda.”
Aaron relaxed a little. “Some of humanity's old gods, I’m hoping to bring them out of retirement.”
The councillor paused. Were he intending to start a religion, it would certainly prove to be popular. She decided not to ask, in case it gave him any ideas. “And the large gas giant with seven moons?”
Now his smile returned in full. “Snow White and the seven dwarves. I can’t name them from memory unless you want some reindeer names mixed in. A folk tale; the gas giant is a perpetual blizzard.”
Eruwenn made another note, folk tale. The council would have questions and the more vague her answers were the better. “Next is Tortuga, which has a flag already, how delightful. Is that a human skull and bones?”
Aaron nodded emphatically. “We won’t actually be encouraging piracy.” He noticed the alarm in her eyes and hastily added, “Yeah, Jarby didn’t like that one either, even after my Captain Sparrow impression.” He saw the incomprehension on her face and explained further. “I did the impression for the asteroid belt as well, but nobody appreciated that either, and I wasn’t about to draw that stupid tattoo on my face.”
She looked at her reference map. “Ah yes, between Snow White and the planet Gallifrey, you have Tyson’s Belt. With asteroid mining advances you should have a steady supply of materials once your initial construction phase is completed. And those names?”
Aaron finished his can and crushed it, they may need to tweak the caffeine content down a notch as he could feel his heart racing. “Sports, and medical.”
She smiled. Naming a planet after someone from a medical field was commendable. “And who was Doctor Gallifrey?”
“Doctor who?” He recognised the wires that were crossed. “No, the Doctor was from Gallifrey.”
“Oh, my apologies. And his name?” she politely enquired.
“Who.”
“The doctor.”
“Doctor Who.”
“The one from Gallifrey!” she snapped, if she had a pen it would have been clicking furiously.
“He was on first base.” The plumage of the councillor's green crest was beginning to rise, so Aaron opened one of the cereal boxes, snacking to provide time to think. Eruwenn was still staring at the screen, confused and frustrated when finally he spoke with slow deliberation. “He was called Doctor Who. Can we move on, because the four moons around Gallifrey are Stark, Banner, Odinson and Rogers, and if you can’t follow Doctor Who I’m not getting into Marvel multiverse theories. Just put named after myths and legends or something.”
“Fine.” She did as instructed, but was still a little confused over who the Doctor from Gallifrey was and why he was now a myth. “The largest planet by far is next, and you called it Pluto.”
A mixture of triumph and anger came over the human. “Yeah, fuck you NASA, Pluto’s not too small now, bitches! You can chalk that one up to revenge, it’s named after a planet from my own solar system that got downgraded on a technicality.”
The councillor had hoped to gain an insight into the human mind through the names he chose for these worlds. What his priorities and aspirations might be, and what he held dear and wanted written in the cosmos. It seemed that he was just as insane as Rilla had repeatedly warned her he was. “Fine.” She didn’t understand a word of what he said, but named after a planet from home was good enough for the bureaucrats. “And Pluto’s five moons?”
“Michael, Tito, Marlon, Jackie and Jermaine.” Much better than Alexa’s choice, she had wanted to name them after the Spice Girls. With a resigned tone he added, “just put down musicians or something.”
Between the insanity and marketing was another welcome addition, music was a beautiful thing that almost all races could share in. “Wonderful, I look forward to listening to them on Musicify.” She had listened to some of Earth’s music during her research, finding that it was as varied as everything else they produced. She had found the classical genre most pleasant, especially while drinking tea. “And finally, on the very edge of the system, the frozen world and the two ice moons.”
The human was relieved to be on the final planets, as the energy drink was buzzing through his veins. “The world is Elsa, named after a princess, and the moons are Cube and Vanilla. You can put those under music, but maybe put an asterisk next to Vanilla.”
The councillor was once again very confused, but did as she was instructed. So often when dealing with the human she felt like she was one step out of time with the conversation. “Well, that concludes my questions. I can get this sent over to our stellar cartographers and the updates will go live in a few cycles. Thank you for your patience.”
“What?” Aaron was confused, he could have done this via a written message. What was the point in the video call? “Oh, ok. Well, thanks for the call, I guess.” After some minor pleasantries it was over, and he still had no idea what it had been for. Mildly disappointed and confused he picked up the prototype cereal box he had been eating from, looking at the cartoon leokas on the front. Turning it over in his hands there was a large drawing on the back for the kids to colour in, and he laughed at another of his prestigious contributions to the galaxy.
Estrilla entered, quickly closing and sealing the door. “Here.” She tossed him a small datapad, that had clearly been modified judging by the bulky addition on the back. It began to vibrate. “It’s Eruwenn. For you.” She looked at his stupid face and snapped. “It’s a secure line, answer it!”
The crew had been called together for an urgent briefing once they had jumped out of Kasur space, and as they gathered around the central table of the lounge they noted no snacks to be tested. This was a serious meeting.
Sassie and Aiov were under the table, and the little leokit with eyes opened was stumbling about with her four-legged guardian watching over her. Despite this development, there was no joy in Aaron's expression. Next to him, in front of the screen, Estrilla paced back and forth, and the Captain gently reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "She's your friend, you can start."
The doctor wanted to argue that they were no longer friends, but she realised her feelings had changed of late. “Fine.” She cleared her throat, shooting Ranjaz a sharp look clearly indicating that none of his usual nonsense would be tolerated. “As you all know, I am a former shipmate of Councillor Eruwenn Aix Sponsa. Many of you have even met her. We were part of a crew led by a former Imperium soldier and we worked behind enemy lines. For Eruwenn that work never truly ended, she just realised her targets were closer to home. She entered politics to engage with them on their terms, while also using her experience as a covert operative to gain whatever advantages she could.”
The yellow Kachna began to pace back and forth again. “There is a group of powerful people who want to see us return to war. They want to stir up the Hive and the Imperium and, as yet, we don’t know what their goals are. Power, profit, using one atrocity to hide another - we just don’t know, but we plan to stop them. Though this is Eruwenn's goal, if she can gain more power for her people and herself she'll likely take those opportunities as well." It was a harsh truth, but Estrilla no longer knew exactly where the Anatidae's loyalties truly lay.
Aaron walked forward and took a seat at the table. “We can delve into the lore later; let’s just show them the message.”
“Right.” The doctor picked up the modified datapad, noting some confused looks around the table. “This is a relay datapad, off the standard networks. It uses encrypted back channels or something - I’m a doctor not a spy, so don’t ask me how it works. Just know that this message is not to be talked about with anyone outside of this crew, and you are to keep no records on personal datapads. Am I clear?”
There was a murmur of consent. Even Ranjaz seemed solemn, acknowledging the gravity of the situation. Either that, or he was simply missing Skeena. Hoping for the best, the doctor stepped aside as the screen blinked on.
The view was obscured at first, and nothing could be heard except heavy breathing. Then glimpses of a corridor could be seen between someone's fingers - the camera was being carried at a run. The view cleared, sweeping along the corridor to reveal scorch marks from energy weapons and several bodies on the floor. A sibilant voice echoed down the hall from elsewhere, and the camera shifted. "Shit," said a different voice, and a Lacertan came into view, still on the move. "They'll find me soon, I have to be quick. I have a small drone hidden in the debris field and I'm uploading to it. Long after this is over it should head to a relay and send this message on your network. I pray this reaches you in time."
The camera operator pushed through a door, still breathing heavily. "This is the lab," she said as the camera panned around slowly. More scorch marks adorned the walls, and the bodies this time were wearing high level bio-hazard suits. "They were working on a weapon, some sort of pathogen, to kill the Hive."
Energy weapon fire could distantly be heard, and the Lacertan leapt behind one of the counters. As she huddled into a ball, she began crying. "Tell my mother I'm sorry. You'll do that, won't you?" Her terrified eyes were pleading with the camera. "I promised her I'd come home safe. I promised. Tell her I'm sorry for ever complaining about the pink packages and that I loved every single one. Tell her I love her, and that I'm so sorry.”
The sobbing intensified, and the camera sagged in her grip. The security uniform with a badge reading Amel came into view - she was a lieutenant. There came a deep breath, and the camera swung back up to her face. "Sorry. I was prepared for this when I volunteered, don't blame yourself. Just... stop them." Her eyes were now ablaze with anger as she tried to share as much information as she could. "They have a plague from this cursed shithole we've been orbiting for cycles. Last time I stopped them when they got too close to the answer they were looking for... by releasing it. Killing some researchers. People I knew, and worked with. I'm sorry for that, but it worked to stop their progress and I thought they would give up.”
She shuffled further around the counter, trying to get as much cover as she could. “Almost a full bost ago a Sentinel paid us a visit, bringing with him some new data. The diseases on this world are thousands of generations away from the original plague, but this data was the real deal. Their research surged ahead, and I didn’t have time to react. Tulseria curse them to eternity, some brainless Doctor Dix defrosted a patient on the edge of Tulseria-knows-where, and now these assholes are going to start a war and kill billions. You have to stop them.”
Voices and footsteps could be heard in the corridor and her voice became hushed and frantic. “They have to be close to release it, and somewhere with a lot of traffic so it reaches deep into their territory before they realise. It isn't finished. It was supposed to target only the Hive, but I heard Doctor Glimnop talking with his assistant about that not yet being the case. It mutates fast, too. It it gets out it could devastate the galaxy. You have to stop them.”
She leaned back against the counter, her breathing becoming ragged and her voice cracking. “They needed more time.” She was gasping. “I needed more time, I could have stopped them. The Sentinel said something about new colonies, and the need to tidy up. I knew, then.” Her gentle sobbing returned. “I ran.”
The sound of the lab door opening caused the slits of her pupils to widen with fear, and it was a moment before she whispered again. “Don’t come to Darnis, we’re already dead.” The camera panned down to her stomach, where her uniform was burned away and the scaled skin beneath charred and split, bleeding profusely. “Stop them releasing it, promise me!”
Angry yelling could be heard and the camera spun to show a Niham in a smart grey suit, his weapon raised. He fired twice. The camera fell to the floor for a moment before being picked up by the killer. “Damn it!” he cursed, “Find where this is transmitting to!” Then the video cut out.
The silence hung for several tiks as everyone processed what they had just watched. Estrilla gave them the time they needed. “They didn’t find the drone, and other than Eruwenn and her assistant, we are the only ones to have seen this.”
“You hope,” Embar said carefully. “They may have traced it, and then used the drone to follow the signal. Anyone who’s seen this is dead if the Sentinels find out.”
The doctor nodded. “That would only lead to the councillor, not us. She won’t talk.”
Embar was more dubious. “Torture can loosen lips. You think she can tough it out?”
Estrilla looked the general in the eye. “She has before.” He gave a polite nod, veteran to veteran, and she moved on. “We don't have much to go on. Sentinels have their past erased, and are good at staying off of the grid. With only a picture and a voice sample, our chances are slim... and if we look too closely, we'll give ourselves away.”
“His name is Krast.” Everyone turned to look at Ranjaz, who savoured the moment. “He’s the bastard who paid me to break into the military research centre. Asshole thought he was smart. He was going to steal something else, and use my job to cover it up.” All eyes were on him and he gave a mean grin at the memory of betrayal. “But, I beat him to it. Took the lot, and that’s when he set me up. I knew that fucker suspected me, so I kept my mouth shut. Played it innocent while he was watching from the shadows, did my time in Xeno-Biology Protection like a good boy.”
Allistan’s pen was clicking furiously. “What in Tulseria’s name did you steal?”
Everyone was looking intently at the Kittran, and he reveled in the attention for as long as he thought he could get away with before he shrugged. “No idea.”
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Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking London - Andrea Messent - Heart Radio How to date attractive, intelligent, single London professionals! Meet more soul mates matched by Drawing Down the Moon Mary Balfour CEO of Drawing Down the Moon Speaking at iDate London 2015 Matchmaker Conference Mary Balfour - YouTube

Dating - Drawing Down the Moon

  1. Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking London - Andrea Messent - Heart Radio
  2. How to date attractive, intelligent, single London professionals!
  3. Meet more soul mates matched by Drawing Down the Moon
  4. Mary Balfour CEO of Drawing Down the Moon Speaking at iDate London 2015 Matchmaker Conference
  5. Mary Balfour - YouTube
  6. drawingdownthemoon2 - YouTube
  7. Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking & Dating Agency - YouTube
  8. Drawing Down the Moon Matchmaking Soulmates - YouTube

Mary Balfour CEO of Drawing Down the Moon will present on the history of the dating industry at the 42nd international iDate Matchmaking Industry Conference & Summit. The event takes place October ... Drawing Down the Moon is London's longest running and most reputable matchmaking and personal introductions agency. Established in 1984 and winner of 'Matchm... Lovely Drawing Down the Moon matchmaker Andrea Messent receives a prank phone call from the delightful Old Mrs. Galloway of Heart Radio. Mary Balfour is the UK's No.1. Dating Expert with 32 years experience of date coaching and matchmaking. She’s the ex-CEO of Drawing Down the Moon, the origin... Ask Mary Balfour ex-CEO Drawing Down the Moon Dating Agency. 7,543 views 12 years ago UK's No.1 Dating Guru Mary Balfour, ex- CEO of Drawing Down the Moon Dating Agency in London, explains how to ... The Drawing Down the Moon matchmakers are making successful introductions every day. Meet more of the happy couples introduced by Drawing Down the Moon Match... Meet some Drawing Down the Moon's dating success stories! Just a few of the thousands of love matches triggered by joining the the UK's original, personal dating agency. An antidote to the internet! Drawing Down the Moon was the very first, personal dating agency in the UK - founded in the early 80s - www.drawingdownthemoon.co.uk. +44 (0) 20 7224 1001.